1. Were you high when you wrote this tripe?
2. There is a violent thread of pedophilia coursing through your book--care to explain yourself, pal?
3. When you make the movie, which Jonas brother will play the female lead?
4. Why did you choose to write in English? Are you too good for Spanish?
5. If you had to write the book over again from scratch, what would you have changed to make the book less crappy?
6. I loved your book so much, I stopped cutting myself while reading. Can you write more books so I can stop cutting?
7. You seem dumb. Who really wrote your book?
8. Do you think your book would make better Kleenex or Toilet Paper?
9. Can I come over to your house and we could, like, play WoW or Pokemon?
10. Do you liek mudkips?