What can be said about a lecturer that denies the relationally aggressive behaviour

S

Sunshine

New member
of one girl to me? She tried to embarrass me in front of everyone by being very condescending and unkind. They all laughed. At the time, it was very clear to me that he saw what happened and registered it as his behaviour to me was considerate and sort of caring. When I spoke to him in private later about it, he first of all lied straight to my face, saying nothing happened. When I persisted he said 'that is just insecurity on her part' (so he did acknowledge what happened actually he just lied at first)..But, why would he do that (lie about having witnessed it at first, and then say that is was just her insecurity?)..It is funny because she did it to him a couple of weeks later and I do not think he liked it very much..But, can a man like that be trusted? What on earth is his motivation for lieing? The conversation was about my reluctance to present because there were a few unkind girls in the class and the whole group had already laughed at me. I am shy and have difficulty with these things so he was trying to convince me to do it but lieing seems kind of childish don't you think?

OK you might say it is favouritism but I do not think that is the case. He is also very flirtatious specifically with me. If anything, the girl thinks he has favouritism to me?
 
Look, he was probably just trying to make light of it and not let it get out of proportion, but you are the sort of person who goes over things again and again, and they bother you. He must have realised that.

You are thinking about it too much and making way too much of it. You will never know what the lecturer did or didn't think - you can't assume that he thought one thing but said another and lied about anything. That is way out of line to even suggest that, in my opinion.

Lecturers tread a very fine line trying to keep everyone happy. They don't go round looking for trouble, and they generally try to be considerate to everyone. It's not in their interest to start taking sides and make problems bigger than they need be.

You have to stop calling him a liar and understand that you have to find a way to deal with the problem yourself without dragging him into it. It's not good to bring stuff like this up in private with him - it puts him in a very uncomfortable position. Unless things really escalate and you really do have something to complain about - but from what you said, it seems quite a small thing and you really don't.
 
Look, he was probably just trying to make light of it and not let it get out of proportion, but you are the sort of person who goes over things again and again, and they bother you. He must have realised that.

You are thinking about it too much and making way too much of it. You will never know what the lecturer did or didn't think - you can't assume that he thought one thing but said another and lied about anything. That is way out of line to even suggest that, in my opinion.

Lecturers tread a very fine line trying to keep everyone happy. They don't go round looking for trouble, and they generally try to be considerate to everyone. It's not in their interest to start taking sides and make problems bigger than they need be.

You have to stop calling him a liar and understand that you have to find a way to deal with the problem yourself without dragging him into it. It's not good to bring stuff like this up in private with him - it puts him in a very uncomfortable position. Unless things really escalate and you really do have something to complain about - but from what you said, it seems quite a small thing and you really don't.
 
Look, he was probably just trying to make light of it and not let it get out of proportion, but you are the sort of person who goes over things again and again, and they bother you. He must have realised that.

You are thinking about it too much and making way too much of it. You will never know what the lecturer did or didn't think - you can't assume that he thought one thing but said another and lied about anything. That is way out of line to even suggest that, in my opinion.

Lecturers tread a very fine line trying to keep everyone happy. They don't go round looking for trouble, and they generally try to be considerate to everyone. It's not in their interest to start taking sides and make problems bigger than they need be.

You have to stop calling him a liar and understand that you have to find a way to deal with the problem yourself without dragging him into it. It's not good to bring stuff like this up in private with him - it puts him in a very uncomfortable position. Unless things really escalate and you really do have something to complain about - but from what you said, it seems quite a small thing and you really don't.
 
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