what are you're funniest jokes you know?

  • Thread starter Thread starter why-use-buttons-use-glue
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this guy walks into a doctors office with a frog on his head,

doctor says "What happened to you?"

frog says "started with a bump on my ass."

the point is to say it quickly so the person you tell says "what?!?!" they get confused
 
So there's this Indian tribe and they just elected a new chief. The tribe asks the new chief how much fire wood they should gather for the winter. The chief isn't sure so he figures to be safe he'll tell the tribe to gather a lot of firewood. So they gather up a big pile and the chief decides to be safe and call the US Weather Bureau. When he calls he asks the man if it will be a cold winter. The man says, "Let me check." He comes back and says, "Yes it will be a very cold winter." So the Indian chief tells the tribe to gather even more firewood. Then he calls the man at the weather bureau back and asks him to check again how cold the winter will be. The man checks and says, "Wow, it looks like it will be an extremely cold winter." The chief thanks him and hangs up. He tells the tribe to gather even more wood before calling the weather bureau one more time. The man checks and says, "Wow, it looks like this is going to be one of the coldest winters we have ever seen!" The chief is curious and asks, "How do you know this?" The man replies, "The Indians are gathering firewood like crazy."
 
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