What are your thoughts on my poem?

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“Solitude”

Beneath a pecan tree, a child is curled
sweeping the strings of a guitar,
gently calming the world.

The moon’s glistening eye
shines silently upon
splashed midnight dye.

In a scarlet leaf bed
a golden maple drizzles
into the midst of entwining red.

The coffee bench lies bare, bland,
hidden by weaved cherry branches
and dewy bluegrass strands.

A silhouette daydreams nearby
against a plum, fuschia quilt
blanketed across the sky.

Tranquility.
Equanimity.
Serenity.


(c) 2008



What are your opinions?
Suggestions?
 
Pros: VERY Descriptive, Fantastic writing.
Cons: I can't think of any!
Suggestions: Write more poems like this!

I loved it.

As a writer myself, the only advice I could give to you about this poem, is to write more. It was great and I think you would be doing the world a favor if you wrote poems like this and shared them among other people.

You may also try getting inspired and writing a short story or something! I did. I wrote a short story that was meant to be about four pages long, and it ended up being 11 front and back. Then I ended up making a sequel to it which was the same length!

Good luck with your poems! It was fantastic!

Sincerely,
Robert Griffith
 
honestly that is a deep poem full of thought and passion i woulndn't change it a bit. :)
 
It's a really good poem. It's very abstract and doesn't really paint a clear picture or scene. But most poems are really abstract, so yeah. As I said before, its a really good poem. ^u^.
 
These are great Haiku!
You did a wonderful job of leaving out any words showing emotions, and simply painting a picture.
The only word which might go against Haiku is in the first one, the word "calming". I know it is very difficult to leave out words like this, expecially when you like the way it sounds. But if you are trying for Haiku, I would suggest changing the word.
Something that quickly came to mind is "Letting the world breathe".
Perhaps you could come up with something better, but there's a suggestion. :)
 
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