What are your comments about this short business like letter?

M

migraine

New member
Could you assist me in making it better? Thank you in anticipation for your valued assistance.
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Dear Gomez (supervisor of the security Dept.),

Thanks you all for your early action as stated in you previous mail.

But this morning we still have problem with the Security team at the gate. Many times Jacques and I liaised with Security Guard but they denied these new drivers access to the Plant for the training course.


Could you please support us for the matter. From tommorrow morning, Human Recources Dept. will make a list and inform the Secutity Dept. ahead of time (for any training course or Interview in the plant)

Thanks and best regards.
Full Name
 
Dear Gomez,

Thank you for your swift actions as stated in your previous mail.

This morning, however, we again have problems with the Security team at the gate. Many times Jacques and I liaised with Security Guards but they still denied the new drivers access to the Plant for the training course.

Please support us for the matter. From tomorrow morning onwards, the Human Resources Dept. will make a full list of invitees for any training course or interview in the plant, providing this it to the Security Dept. ahead of time. In this way we will avoid any repeat of these issues, which I am sure you will agree makes sense.

Thanks and best regards.
Full Name
 
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