what are the good things in life things that are worth living for?

[John]

right now i feel like f**k this, f**k everything, f**k the world i been miserable for years not ounce do i EVER! remember being happy. I only wonted a women to love me a women i can spend my whole life with. i'm tired of fighing, i'm tired of fighting myslef because even if i win i still lose so someone please tell me whats in this world worth waiting for and i dont wont to make it seem like i'm some middle age guy just mad at life i'm about to be 17 next week and the funny thing is i cant see my life past 17 i never could even when i was younger i could never see myself past the age of 17 so im going to give it a year just to make sure this is what i really wont and please dont refer me to a suicide hotline because i'm not specifically asking for their help