What are some funny stand up comedy jokes?

okay heres this one, its ony of my favourites...

"Okay so you always think, well how am i going to break up with your partner. well when hes around a group of his friends you ask them 'who here has a girlfriend' when he puts his hand up, say 'no you can put your hand down' ..the best and easiest way to break up with someone"
 
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