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Guest
The Accident
A man comes out of a shopping mall to find that the side of his
parked car is rammed in. Seeing a note under the windshield, he
read it.
On the paper is written:
As I'm writing this, about a dozen people are
watching me. They think I'm giving you my name, phone number,
and insurance company.
But I'm not............
Blind man
There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas.
When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said,
"Wow, these seats are big!" The person next to him
answered, "Everything is big in Texas."
When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar.
Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug
placed between his hands. He exclaimed, "Wow these mugs
are big!" The bartender replied,
"Everything is big in Texas."
After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender
where the bathroom was located. The bartender replied,
"Second door to the right." The blind man headed for the
bathroom, but accidentally tripped over and skipped the
second door. Instead, he entered the third door, which
lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by
accident.
Scared to death, the blind man started shouting, "Don't
flush, don't flush!"
Survival
A Scout Master was teaching his boy scouts about survival in
the desert.
"What are the three most important things you should bring
with you in case you get lost in the desert?" he asked. Several
hands went up, and many important things were suggested
such as food, matches, etc.
Then one little boy in the back eagerly raised his hand. "Yes
Timmy, what are the three most important things you would
bring with you?" asked the Scout Master.
Timmy replied: "A compass, a canteen of water, and a deck
of cards."
"Why's that Timmy?"
"Well," answered Timmy, "the compass is to find the right
direction, the water is to prevent dehydration..."
"And what about the deck of cards?" asked the Scout Master
impatiently.
"Well, Sir, as soon as you start playing Solitaire, someone is
bound to come up behind you and say, "Put that red nine on
top of that black ten!"
A man comes out of a shopping mall to find that the side of his
parked car is rammed in. Seeing a note under the windshield, he
read it.
On the paper is written:
As I'm writing this, about a dozen people are
watching me. They think I'm giving you my name, phone number,
and insurance company.
But I'm not............
Blind man
There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas.
When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said,
"Wow, these seats are big!" The person next to him
answered, "Everything is big in Texas."
When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar.
Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug
placed between his hands. He exclaimed, "Wow these mugs
are big!" The bartender replied,
"Everything is big in Texas."
After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender
where the bathroom was located. The bartender replied,
"Second door to the right." The blind man headed for the
bathroom, but accidentally tripped over and skipped the
second door. Instead, he entered the third door, which
lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by
accident.
Scared to death, the blind man started shouting, "Don't
flush, don't flush!"
Survival
A Scout Master was teaching his boy scouts about survival in
the desert.
"What are the three most important things you should bring
with you in case you get lost in the desert?" he asked. Several
hands went up, and many important things were suggested
such as food, matches, etc.
Then one little boy in the back eagerly raised his hand. "Yes
Timmy, what are the three most important things you would
bring with you?" asked the Scout Master.
Timmy replied: "A compass, a canteen of water, and a deck
of cards."
"Why's that Timmy?"
"Well," answered Timmy, "the compass is to find the right
direction, the water is to prevent dehydration..."
"And what about the deck of cards?" asked the Scout Master
impatiently.
"Well, Sir, as soon as you start playing Solitaire, someone is
bound to come up behind you and say, "Put that red nine on
top of that black ten!"