Well, FUCK YOU, Dante!!

K

kathleen O

New member
Okay, maybe I brought this on myself. Damn me and my procrastination. But anyway..

There's this fuckin' hundred-point two-question take-home test for Dante's Inferno. It's the worst fucking book ever!!!!!!! All the blood and gore and violence and it taking place in hell would make it the best book ever, but it was SO boring! And then, the ending was the worst ending ever--all they do is climb down Satan and end up back on Earth or somethnig. WTF, man?! I was expecting Lucifer/Satan/The Devil to give a big long speech to Dante about the 'error of his way' or somethnig, which was the whole reason Dante (the character, not the author) was even in hell in the first place, but no! They just climb down, and poof! home. :mfinger: Dante Alighieri. I have you burn in the ninth circle of hell, having your inch-long testicles chomped on by Satan.

Yeah so the two question test..The first question is 25 points, and asks something about the Aristotelian philosophy Dante used to justify the layout of Hell. Then it wants me to explain it, and tell how Dante used it to his advantage. Then the second question is 75 points, and asks me to make my own layout of hell, with a different order of sins and their punishments. Then JUSTIFY it. Goddamnit.

I would just fake sick tomorrow and thursday (which is the last day til break) but he said no late papers will be accepted. Fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck. >__<

Guess I better get to work.
 
Dude, don't ever knock the Inferno.


PS: I thought I was going to help you a bit. But Im not going to do your homework for you, so let me just send you in the right direction

Part 1:
Aristotle to inferno = matta bestialitade GOOGLE IT.

Part 2: Read up on Chinese hells. Everyone has thier own hell. Bill and Ted's bogus journey was founded on this principle. As were lots of other things, but Im settling on that example. Or, if you really want to get tricky and you are a d and d geek, read cyric the mad forgotten realms again, or go for the hell as a dimension with being and governing beings like in Elminster in hell.

Or you could pay me like 200 bucks and Ill get you an A.
 
I'm not asking anyone to do my homework for me, I'm just ranting about home much the book completely blows.

And it does. It's worse than Dracula. >__
 
I barely know you, and you've already managed to bash two of my heroes. Man, don't ever knock dante. And don't follow it with a knock on stoker.....

White wyrm, dude. White wyrm.
 
My hell would be perpetual guilt for something you have done, or having to live through what you did to others. Not really a geographical place, more like a perpetual state of mind.
 
Haha..sorry, DG...

Well, the assignment's turned in (obviously). It wasn't so bad...except for the part about being up thil THREE IN THE FUCKNIG MORNING coming up with punishments for the sins, a good reason for the shape of hell that I chose, why the punishments for specific sins represent divine retribution, and uh...something else I forgot. I just can't fucking wait to see my grade. >__>

Anyway, I chose the V shape, referencing The DaVinci Code, the chalice, and a chick being the first sinner. So hopefully that's a good enough reason. I had somethnig like thirteen circles (five on each side of the V, then three at the bottom) and..haha..this is the fun part...Politicians were at the very bottom. What fun.
 
Dante was in hell because of lust, I think. Or maybe it was about him pleasuring himself. Something along those lines. That's what the whole part him getting attacked by the starving wolf came in. It's been a while since I read that. But I remember I had to do a report on it in one of my english classes, except that we got to choose our own sins, or own layout for hell, and drew pictures instead. My hell was in a trailer park. I don't remember most of the sins I picked, but I remember one of them was bestiality and I drew a guy bent over a table being raped by a horse. The horse was anatomically correct. Another one was theft and I drew a guy getting his hands eaten off by demons. The teacher fucking loved it. Man, I miss that class. She didn't care if we swore in class either. Hell, when I did my report on The Godfather, I opened with "It was basically all violence and fucking. I loved this book." And I ended up with an A.
 
God damn, I'd read Dante's Inferno if I had the time. Sounds like a good book. too bad I have like 7 other books I want to read, not to mention the one I'm writing.
 
Hell raiser... there were some interesting ideas of hell explored in the first 2 and in Inferno. But in my system of hell there is a special sub level for those who talk trash about Stoker.
 
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