Miss.Dior.Cherie
New member
When I was 4 my mother got cancer and I was raised solely by my big brother and my dad. I grew up a huge tom boy and became really distanced from my mother while she recovered, I guess because I was to young to understand and Dad tried to protect me from the truth.
By the time she was fully recovered I was about 8, and my dad went back to working full time. I grew really close to my mum and drifted away from him. I started hanging out with girls at school and learned how to behave like a young girl too, but totally grew out of my tom boy stage.
Now I am 17, I never see my father because he goes to work before I am awake and comes home by the time I am asleep. We find it so hard to relate to each other, I almost wouldn't believe we were ever so close. Sometimes though, when hes in the room, I feel completely violated and angry. I just want him to go away. If he makes a comment in my head I tell him to shutup and leave me alone. Its so irrational and unjustified, there must be some reason I'm having these thoughts.
I'm feeling very lost because one day he will be gone and I will be all grown up and living out of home. I don't want to regret never being able to get close to him and keep pushing him away. Why do I feel like this?
By the time she was fully recovered I was about 8, and my dad went back to working full time. I grew really close to my mum and drifted away from him. I started hanging out with girls at school and learned how to behave like a young girl too, but totally grew out of my tom boy stage.
Now I am 17, I never see my father because he goes to work before I am awake and comes home by the time I am asleep. We find it so hard to relate to each other, I almost wouldn't believe we were ever so close. Sometimes though, when hes in the room, I feel completely violated and angry. I just want him to go away. If he makes a comment in my head I tell him to shutup and leave me alone. Its so irrational and unjustified, there must be some reason I'm having these thoughts.
I'm feeling very lost because one day he will be gone and I will be all grown up and living out of home. I don't want to regret never being able to get close to him and keep pushing him away. Why do I feel like this?