I dated my boyfirend for 10 months, we lived together for 4 months. He didn't have a job, was starting a new business when I met him. He expected me to pay for everything when we met and he was very secretive, but he was also cute and interesting. I found texts from and to other women after 4 months and broke up with him. He begged me to take him back and I did. He explained that one of the women he was texting was his ex-girlfriend (as of 4 months) of 7 years. It had always been a long distance relationship. He said he just texted her to be nice. The other woman called me and said there was nothing going on. I told him that I didn't want him writing things like that to other women (I miss you, Kiss you a lot, My love...).
Anyway, he got much nicer and was a decent boyfriend, but he still, from time to time, would send his ex some sweet message. He couldn't afford his apartment so he moved in with me and his cousin (new to the country) also needed a place to stay so I said he could come for just a month, at the most. My boyfriend was pretty sweet during this time and I really did like having him. He drove me wherever I wanted to go and even tried to make dinner for a couple of weeks. I really didn't feel comfortable having his cousin there and made that clear to him, but each month he asked for just another month.
He still, from time to time, would write sweet messages to this ex-girlfriend. He also joined this social networking site, Tagged, with his picture, and sent a bunch of emails out to women in the area giving his phone number. It hurt, but I assumed it was some silly male fantasy and he didn't use it very much.
After 4 months of living with me with his cousin (at one point, we were sharing a car because his car broke down), he left his facebook up and I found an email from him to a girl in the area telling her how sexy her pictures were, how he missed her, kiss her a lot, and to have sweet dreams. I had been very busy that month and didn't have time to go out when he invited me and I was very depressed because of a large workload. He had been acting strange and secretive again. A couple of days later, I found a love letter from her telling him how much she enjoyed meeting his family, how her entire world revolved around him, how every moment they were apart she loved him even more, how wonderful his beauty, passion, and kindness were...I was devastated. The next day, I told him to leave, but I didn't tell him why because I didn't want an explanation. He cried, begged, pleaded, and told me he would change anything to stay with me. I said no and stayed strong for 2 days, then I agreed to listen to him. He said that we could never be married (he used to want to get married, but I didn't), but that he wanted to stay with me while I lived in this country because he loved me. He told me this other girl was nothing to him, she was a friend of a friend who was infatuated with him. I accepted this.
Later in the week, I noticed that she was friending his family members and I found him chatting with her on facebook and I told him it was over, over, over. I yelled everything that I could. He apologized over and over, said we would always be friends, said that I was the most importnat woman to him, said that he would never forget all of the help that I had given him. I just stayed angry. He took forever to move out and I finally had to tell his cousin to get his stuff and move out.
He was awful, but I loved and cared about him. He calls every other day and I ignore it. He tried to gchat me and I ignored it. (It has been less than a week since he moved out). I know I am supposed to stick to no contact, but it just hurts. I can't imagine never being friends with this person. I wish we were back together. So, you have the whole history, what should I do when he tries to contact me? How do I reconcile my love for him with his complete selfishness towards me?
Anyway, he got much nicer and was a decent boyfriend, but he still, from time to time, would send his ex some sweet message. He couldn't afford his apartment so he moved in with me and his cousin (new to the country) also needed a place to stay so I said he could come for just a month, at the most. My boyfriend was pretty sweet during this time and I really did like having him. He drove me wherever I wanted to go and even tried to make dinner for a couple of weeks. I really didn't feel comfortable having his cousin there and made that clear to him, but each month he asked for just another month.
He still, from time to time, would write sweet messages to this ex-girlfriend. He also joined this social networking site, Tagged, with his picture, and sent a bunch of emails out to women in the area giving his phone number. It hurt, but I assumed it was some silly male fantasy and he didn't use it very much.
After 4 months of living with me with his cousin (at one point, we were sharing a car because his car broke down), he left his facebook up and I found an email from him to a girl in the area telling her how sexy her pictures were, how he missed her, kiss her a lot, and to have sweet dreams. I had been very busy that month and didn't have time to go out when he invited me and I was very depressed because of a large workload. He had been acting strange and secretive again. A couple of days later, I found a love letter from her telling him how much she enjoyed meeting his family, how her entire world revolved around him, how every moment they were apart she loved him even more, how wonderful his beauty, passion, and kindness were...I was devastated. The next day, I told him to leave, but I didn't tell him why because I didn't want an explanation. He cried, begged, pleaded, and told me he would change anything to stay with me. I said no and stayed strong for 2 days, then I agreed to listen to him. He said that we could never be married (he used to want to get married, but I didn't), but that he wanted to stay with me while I lived in this country because he loved me. He told me this other girl was nothing to him, she was a friend of a friend who was infatuated with him. I accepted this.
Later in the week, I noticed that she was friending his family members and I found him chatting with her on facebook and I told him it was over, over, over. I yelled everything that I could. He apologized over and over, said we would always be friends, said that I was the most importnat woman to him, said that he would never forget all of the help that I had given him. I just stayed angry. He took forever to move out and I finally had to tell his cousin to get his stuff and move out.
He was awful, but I loved and cared about him. He calls every other day and I ignore it. He tried to gchat me and I ignored it. (It has been less than a week since he moved out). I know I am supposed to stick to no contact, but it just hurts. I can't imagine never being friends with this person. I wish we were back together. So, you have the whole history, what should I do when he tries to contact me? How do I reconcile my love for him with his complete selfishness towards me?