I'm really confused and on the verge of making a very huge decision in my life and need all the advice possible. This isn't an attempt at trolling, so if you take it as one, get the hell out of here!
While I was sitting here thinking about why I'm waiting until marriage to have sex, I realised that I'm not sure if marriage is really what I want after witnessing so much negativity both here and in real life by particularly women (who are thought to be more chaste --- yeah right!) in regards to my decision. I wanted a girl with the same values, but it doesn't look reasonable that any exist. They want to sleep around and take advantage of as many guys as they can is what it looks like, and then settle down and hope they won't be cheated on/abused/outright abandoned/etc (good luck with that one, ladies!) So I've pretty much said f*** you to marriage entirely. The only thing I really want out of it now after witnessing all of this, has seemingly become just to have sex. I have lost all hope and also my respect for women, and now I think of them as merely objects and that it's better to just take advantage of as many of them as I can. I had so many opportunities but something always stopped me. And what worries me is everything is telling me to do it, to take advantage of those opportunities, but some small voice inside of me, despite the overwhelming negativity that I have witnessed, is telling me to hold on for something better and I just don't know why. It's driving me up the wall.
Statistics, logic, rationality, and my emotions are screaming at the top of their lungs to take advantage of as many women as possible and never settle down, and become just like the other males in society. But for some reason I don't want to become like the rest of them, though I also find absolutely no incentive for me to wait any more. All of the attractive women are long since not virgins and that's what I really wanted...to find a girl as attractive, successful and physically fit as I am with an excellent personality, and settle down. Now I just KNOW (not believe) that such don't exist nowadays and probably never have. All I ever wanted besides having a successful career, was a happy marriage, children and a faithful wife. But it doesn't seem like I'm allowed that now am I? Church girls, for the few that are attractive, are incredibly easy while non-religious girls or girls of other religions are just as easy, but lack any sense of conscience it seems.
I don't want to settle down with some used up trash (and hopefully if she exists, she views me the same way in this case as insecure as this may seem) -- which is the only other alternative. I also don't want to end up living alone because of this (so in other words, it's a 'Bachelor's life' for me), so I am thinking, possibly irrationally do to all of this overwhelming info that's causing some severe self-doubt it me, that it's better to go with option one and just sleep around like everyone else but on the other hand not marry so I don't have to share my income with some vile b**** that will use me and leave (which is all too common in 2010).
So I really need some help. I am between a rock and some really hard place, and it feels like the temperature here is only getting hotter. I need all the help I can get, especially SPIRITUAL help.
I've furthermore seen a few males relate to me already, so it appears as if there are a lot of us that are thinking this way. No females though. Maybe more can relate or provide some kind of certainty? Because this tremendous doubt is eating me alive, just as it is getting to them.
While I was sitting here thinking about why I'm waiting until marriage to have sex, I realised that I'm not sure if marriage is really what I want after witnessing so much negativity both here and in real life by particularly women (who are thought to be more chaste --- yeah right!) in regards to my decision. I wanted a girl with the same values, but it doesn't look reasonable that any exist. They want to sleep around and take advantage of as many guys as they can is what it looks like, and then settle down and hope they won't be cheated on/abused/outright abandoned/etc (good luck with that one, ladies!) So I've pretty much said f*** you to marriage entirely. The only thing I really want out of it now after witnessing all of this, has seemingly become just to have sex. I have lost all hope and also my respect for women, and now I think of them as merely objects and that it's better to just take advantage of as many of them as I can. I had so many opportunities but something always stopped me. And what worries me is everything is telling me to do it, to take advantage of those opportunities, but some small voice inside of me, despite the overwhelming negativity that I have witnessed, is telling me to hold on for something better and I just don't know why. It's driving me up the wall.
Statistics, logic, rationality, and my emotions are screaming at the top of their lungs to take advantage of as many women as possible and never settle down, and become just like the other males in society. But for some reason I don't want to become like the rest of them, though I also find absolutely no incentive for me to wait any more. All of the attractive women are long since not virgins and that's what I really wanted...to find a girl as attractive, successful and physically fit as I am with an excellent personality, and settle down. Now I just KNOW (not believe) that such don't exist nowadays and probably never have. All I ever wanted besides having a successful career, was a happy marriage, children and a faithful wife. But it doesn't seem like I'm allowed that now am I? Church girls, for the few that are attractive, are incredibly easy while non-religious girls or girls of other religions are just as easy, but lack any sense of conscience it seems.
I don't want to settle down with some used up trash (and hopefully if she exists, she views me the same way in this case as insecure as this may seem) -- which is the only other alternative. I also don't want to end up living alone because of this (so in other words, it's a 'Bachelor's life' for me), so I am thinking, possibly irrationally do to all of this overwhelming info that's causing some severe self-doubt it me, that it's better to go with option one and just sleep around like everyone else but on the other hand not marry so I don't have to share my income with some vile b**** that will use me and leave (which is all too common in 2010).
So I really need some help. I am between a rock and some really hard place, and it feels like the temperature here is only getting hotter. I need all the help I can get, especially SPIRITUAL help.
I've furthermore seen a few males relate to me already, so it appears as if there are a lot of us that are thinking this way. No females though. Maybe more can relate or provide some kind of certainty? Because this tremendous doubt is eating me alive, just as it is getting to them.