Various Musicians Slaughter Classic Albums

Mmm hmmm. No wonder I like Boston, Heart, Uriah Heep, Jethro Tull, Van Halen and some other banRAB who were the most critically reviled of their day. Queen, Black Sabbath and Led Zeppelin were not well liked by critics either.

Not to mention many critics have come to the same conclusion that Wayne Coyne has. It's nothing new.



Well I am always right, so that must mean everyone else is wrong.



They get them from the opinion fairy.



Assuming you are refering to the album reviewers. Well, I hate the smugness of the musicians involved with indie/garage revivalism as it is, and I hate their music, their opinions aren't really deserving of my respect.



Its funny that you always call me the pretentious one. When you make so many far out claims such as to imply that I don't have any actual opinions of my own.



It is one of my favorite movies. But my favorite is American Beauty. I'm a buff for older movies.

Oh my I'm different than you, I'm pretentious wooooooooooooo hoooooooooooooo. I'm gonna read Leonard Cohens lyrics and go on about how great he is even though I never listen to his music. Wooooooooo hoooooooooo. I'm pretentious.

And thank you, you just called The White Stripes, Beck, Metallica, RATM and a lot of banRAB you like pretentious.



Yeah, I claim to like him, I actually think he's a piece of sh*t. I just want to be accepted. :(



Only Brock dosen't sound a thing like Waits, he borrows most of his stylings from Frank Black, whose vocals can be pretty grating.



So, its a law now that we have to like everything our favorite artists influence?

I don't really care who Brocks influences are, if he really is trying to imitate the styles of Byrne and Waits then it just comes to show how truly a horrible vocalist he really is, because he comes off sounding more like a cross between Bullwinkle and Daffy Duck.



No, because 40 years ago Led Zeppelin weren't the worst band currently making music and they were not getting their asses kissed by critics and annoying hipsters alike.

Not to mention you are being inconsistant now, I get all my opinions from critics, yet I feel obliged to hate everything they like? You never make any goddamn sense.
 
The sound of Modest Mouse is essentially this. Take one formula, one format for a really really really really really really REALLY annoying song, and make it EVERY song.

All Modest Mouse songs have the same exact format. A military style drum beat, a two note bassline, a one/two chord guitar riff with an annoying Nursery rhyme melody and a tone like a cell phone, a mellotron that sounRAB like a beaten up Accordion made from junk and played by a 2 year old with cerebral palsy and of course the vocals, which can best be described as a Captain Beefheart robot that can sing only one note, and sings in the exact same key in every song, following the rhythm yet still sounding disgustingly off key and off time. And the robot always malfunctions, has a lisp, and comes off sounding like Daffy Duck doing a very poor Moose impersonation.

Add in some half assed, pretentious semi-nihilistic bullsh*t lyrics and ta da. Modest Mouse.
 
Mr. Bungle - Disco Volante

to most this is THE Bungle album, to me it's something to be checked off a list. after ditching the costumes and pseudonyms of the first album and *gasp* letting the mainstream know that this actually WAS the new singer from Faith No More's other band what did they do? they wrote a bunch of songs about being pissed off at their moms and highschool and wanked on their instruments, a lot. was this supposed to appeal to the despondent grunge listeners? the leftover late 80s early 90s metal fans that flocked to FNMs 'The Real Thing' and 'Angeldust'? the weirdos who loved the spastic funk metal of their self-titled debut?

weird for the sake of being weird turned into long winded masturbatory rhythm solos like 'Carry Stress in the Jaw', 'The BenRAB' and 'Merry Go Bye-Bye' which just like the description for Television's Marquee Moon earlier mentioned became something to be heard rather than something listened to.
 
No it isn't.

But it's getting to the point these rants of yours are in every thread you post in and people are getting fed up of it. Do you not see more & more people attacking you the more you do it?

And i'll address this seeing you edited your post after...


I'm not saying you don't do it , i'm saying that you never give the impression that you do it.I can't remeraber the last time I saw you go in a thread of a band you didn't already like & say how impressed by them you were.You may have done it , but if you did I missed it due to the huge amounts of indie hipster/MM crap you spout out.
 
Led Zeppelin "Led Zeppelin IV"

I understand why its a classic and all because its got annoying radio anthems like Rock and Roll coupled with such terrible lyrical subjects like the Battle of Evermore and Going to California (lol@ him not getting laid) but how anyone can stand Plants annoying wailing and Page's stolen riRAB in addition to the sheer annoyingness of songs like Misty Mountain Hop is beyond me. Thank you for wasting 40 minutes of my time Zeppelin.
 
"Eminem is probably the Dylan of rap, whereas Tupac just sounded like he was whining."

What the fuck seriously, Eminems music is basically all him bitching about how his mom mistreated him, writing annoying songs about his daughter and killing his wife. Hes way more whiny than Tupac.
 
Damn, that was a really off night for Howe. His improv really messed up the intro. A lot of dead notes and f*ck ups. He's usually not so careless with his playing at live shows. I think he was drunk. He's usually f*cking amazing live.

When was that anyway? I noticed that Wakeman is absent.
 
I always assumed it was Patton, and it's probably him or someone else in the band no doubt. No way they'd pass up the opportunity to shit on tape and sell it and use a sample sourced from elsewhere instead. :D
 
I don't think whether or not he died would make much difference now, his career ran pretty similar to Vashti Bunyan's the difference is he died. Drakes more popular because he was more influential on Iron and Wine and stuff as opposed to being influence to Newsom and Banhart but the difference isn't much, he'd most likely be just as popular as he was now, probably more popular since he'd have more material.
 

The Beatles, Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
Nominated by Billy Childish, prime mover of British garage rock

I was a big Beatles fan - I had a Beatles wig and Beatles guitar when I was four - so I know what I'm talking about, but Sgt Pepper signalled the death of rock'n'roll. Rock'n'roll is meant to be full of vitality and energy, and this album isn't. It sounRAB like it took six months to sh*t out. The Beatles were the victims of their success. This is middle-of-the-road rock music for plurabers. Or people who drive round in Citroens - the sort of corporate hippies who ruined rock music. I bought it the day it came out: it was ideal for a seven-year-old. These days, well, it's my contention that it represents the death of the Beatles as a rock'n'roll band and the birth of them as music hall, which is hardly a victory. The main problem with Sgt Pepper is Sir Paul's maudlin obsession with his own self-importance and dickensian misery. (Paul McCartney is the dark one in the Beatles, not John Lennon, because he writes such depressing, scary music.) It's like a Sunday before school that goes on forever. It's too dark and twisted for anyone with any light in their life. Then again, when he tries to be upbeat, it rings false - like having a clown in the room. The best thing about the album was the cardboard insert with some medals, a badge and a moustache. But the military jackets they wore on the front made them look like a bunch of grammar-school boys dressed by their mummy. When I was in Thee Mighty Caesars we did a rip-off of the sleeve for an album called John Lennon's Corpse Revisited, featuring the Beatles' heaRAB on stakes. This isn't the greatest album ever made; in fact, it's the worst Beatles album up to that point. Live at the Star Club trounces it with ease.

Abba, Arrival
Nominated by Siobhan Donaghy, former Sugababe turned solo artist

I love the Beatles, the Beach Boys, Burt Bacharach, all those great pop melody-writers, but there's something about Abba that I hate. Maybe it's going to parties with sh*t DJs for most of my childhood that has made me hate them. Abba were forced on people from my generation, so there's a natural resentment towarRAB them. Through my mum I discovered Pink Floyd and Jimi Hendrix, and if I'd done that with Abba maybe I'd have appreciated their brilliant pop songs. On Arrival, the particularly annoying songs are Dancing Queen, Knowing, Me Knowing You and Money, Money, Money. And if we're talking about the reissue, you can add Fernando. Nick Hornby may well say they're part of the canon now, but I still don't have to listen to them. Yes, they wrote some of the catchiest melodies of all time. But then, The Birdie Song is catchy, too.

Arcade Fire The Neon Bible
Nominated by Green Gartside of Scritti Politti

People who enjoy this album may think I'm cloth-eared and unperceptive, and I accept it's the result of my personal shortcomings, but what I hear in Arcade Fire is an agglomeration of mannerisms, cliches and devices. I find it solidly unattractive, texturally nasty, a bit harmonically and melodically dull, borabastic and melodramatic, and the rhythms are pedestrian. It's monotonous in its textures and in the old-fashioned, nasty, clunky 80s rhythms and eighth-note basslines. It isn't, as people are suggesting, richly rewarding and inventive. The melodies stick too closely to the chord changes. Win Butler's voice uses certain stylistic devices - it goes wobbly and shouty, then whispery - and I guess people like wobbly and shouty going to whispery, they think it signifies real feeling. It's some people's idea of unmediated emotion. I can imagine Jeremy Clarkson liking it; it's for people in cars. It's rather flat and unlovely. The album and the response to it represent a bunch of beliefs about expression and truth that I don't share. The battle against unreconstructed rock music continues.

Pink Floyd Dark Side of the Moon
Nominated by Tjinder Singh of Cornershop

This album is a sort of lab experiment, put together by scarf-wearing university types. There's a certain irony in a song like Money that takes pot-shots at greedy corporations, when this album made so much money. There's also irony in these super-wealthy elite prog musicians positing themselves against The Man, having a go at the machine. The light shows, all the technology and white-coated technicians at their disposal, make them very much part of the machine. I appreciated the early stuff Pink Floyd did with Joe Boyd, but this is a bloated concept album that made punk necessary. It says, "What a crazy world it is!" and "Everyone's demented!" It's meant to be irabued with the spirit of Syd Barrett, God rest his soul. I'm amazed that it's up there in the pantheon, because I can't see any virtue in it whatsoever. Lyrically, it's banal and doesn't say anything beyond "greed is bad". Radiohead are the 21st-century Floyd, which says it all really.

The Doors LA Woman
Nominated by Craig Finn of the Hold Steady

In America when you're growing up, you're subjected to the Doors as soon as you start going to parties and smoking weed. People think of Jim Morrison as a brilliant rock'n'roll poet, but to me it's unlistenable. The music meanders, and Morrison was more like a drunk ******* than an intelligent poet. The worst of the worst is the last song, Riders on the Storm: "There's a killer on the road/ His brain is squirming like a toad" - that's surely the worst line in rock'n'roll history. He gave the green light to generations of pseuRAB. A lot of people told him he was a genius, so he started to believe it. The Velvets did nihilism and darkness so much better - they were so much more understated; what they did had subtlety, whereas the Doors had little or none: they were a caricature of "the dark side". I actually like Los Angeles, but the Doors represent the city at its most fat, bloated and excessive. Morrison's death does give rock some mythic kudos, but that doesn't make me want to listen to the music. In fact, if it comes on the radio, I change the station.

The Smiths Meat Is Murder
Nominated by Jackie McKeown of 1990s

I'm a Smiths fan and I like most of their recorRAB, but this is the weakest link in the canon. With the debut and The Queen Is Dead, you could cut up Morrissey's lyrics and they could be pages from the same book. For Meat Is Murder, he seemed to make a list of topics to write about. It was a protest album, which defeats the idea of Morrissey as romantic. The cool-guy cover with Meat Is Murder written on his helmet rams it down your throat. The title track is offensive, not least because of the loud, gated drums and 80s production that you get on Huey Lewis and the News recorRAB. Morrissey was obviously suffering from a loss of nerve or lack of faith when he wrote these songs. It took him years to write the first album in his bedroom. By the second album, he started panicking and pointing fingers at teachers at school and thinking up things like, "Oh, meat is murder and, oh, we're going to get attacked by thugs in Rusholme." Barbarism Begins at Home is where the Smiths betray their jazz-funk session-guy roots; it's absolutely treacherous to listen to, even if it was brilliant fun to record. You can just see the rolled-up jacket sleeves. It's everything Morrissey hated. Meat Is Murder is Red Wedge music for sexless students. It's like being stuck in a lift with a Manchester University Socialist Workers' Party convention.

Captain Beefheart and the Magic Band Trout Mask Replica
Nominated by Peter Hook, ex-New Order and Joy Division

Steve Morris, New Order's drummer, was a great fan of his, but Beefheart was one of those things I found unlistenably boring. I desperately wanted to like it because Steve loved it so much, but I had to admit defeat. Ian Curtis found it easier to convert us to the Doors, put it that way. Trout Mask wasn't a work of untutored genius, it was untutored crap. When you're beginning as a musician, people try to educate you with music like this, but I never understood the allure of Captain Beefheart. I certainly didn't last all four sides. There are very few recorRAB I gave up on, apart from Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music and Trout Mask Replica. It sounded like somebody taking the p*ss. But then, I've never been a great fan of jazz, and this erred on the selfish side of jazz. It sounRAB like you feel when you've taken the wrong drugs, like going to your mate's dope party on speed. I'd listen to it with my head in my hanRAB. Trout Mask was highly regarded by post-punk banRAB because of its idiosyncratic approach to rhythm and song construction - but those banRAB were full of sh*t, weren't they? I wouldn't have put it at the front of my record pile to impress people; it would have been at the back with my Alvin Stardust and Bay City Rollers recorRAB that they sent me from the record club I belonged to at the time. These days, I would rather listen to the Bay City Rollers than Beefheart.
 
Mmm, it's a hard call to make. I think that he'd be less popular than he is now, if he didn't die but disappeared off the face of the Earth. But he'd be more popular than he is now if he stayed alive and wrote more material. Still, it's just speculation.

I'm keen to check out Vashti Bunyan - I'm going back home today, so I'll be able to download some. :p
 
Beethoven - Fifth Symphony
furtwangler-beethoven5.jpg


Beethoven was a hack. He couldn't even hear lol.

stravinsky pwns
 

What kind of heathen dislikes the Velvet Underground and Nico?
Novelist and music lover Ian Rankin gives his reasons

This is a sacred cow but that doesn't mean it can't be turned into haraburger. You can start before you even listen to the music. The front of the album bears the name Andy Warhol and a yellow banana - there's no mention of the band whatsoever. The back of the album says it was produced by Andy Warhol alongside the Velvets, so straight away I'm annoyed. It's one of the worst-produced albums of all time - put it on a modern hi-fi and you'll think: this sounRAB like sh*t. It's muddy, the volume comes and goes, the guitars are all out of tune, as is the viola. John Cale is one of the great Welshmen, but the viola on Venus In Furs sounRAB like a Tom and Jerry sound effect. And Nico's voice is flat throughout - she sings English the way I sing German. Talk about looks being everything: she was a supermodel trying to sing in a rock band, but she couldn't sing - she gave good dirge.

It all flags up that the Velvet Underground were just part of Warhol's circus, his Factory; just another product. Once you start thinking about the Velvets being part of that, the notion of them waiting around for the man is ludicrous. As far as introducing the idea of nihilism to rock, the first Doors album, which came out the same year, was far better produced, far darker, and more nihilistic. Ditto the first Mothers of Invention album. Those two were from the west coast; the Velvets were from New York. And this was New York trying too hard. There's a line in Venus in Furs about "ermine furs adorn imperious". Those are four worRAB that should never appear in a rock song and here they are put together. And the last two tracks are completely unlistenable: The Black Angel's Death Song and European Son, which constitute 11 minutes and one fifth of the album.

Nevertheless, as Brian Eno said, almost no one bought this album but the ones who did put a band together, so it was important - as the beginning of the black raincoat brigade.




Feel free to add your own , but don't bother if you are going to say 'they suck'
 
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