Unsure and Frustrated

B

Brett Andrews

New member
Right there with you, JLXC. :happysad:

I've chosen to not have kids, so am very much outside of the mommy cliques. Married women see me as a threat, however ungrounded, simply because I'm single (yep, I'm outing myself as female). So hanging with people who use the pronoun "we" in every fucking sentence is generally a no-go as well.

Yet my 20s are a distant memory, with the 30s getting to that point. Finding people I can relate to who aren't terminally in an in-between state and angsting endlessly over that fact is a pretty lost cause.
 
Actually I love my single no kid friends. Easier to talk them into a threeway. LMAO. J/King!

(not really).

Its not that other mommies see you as a threat, its that they are jealous of all your freedom, no matter how much they love their babies they lost a part of themselves into that child, which is both a blessing and a curse.
 
Maybe you need to redefine your sense of fun? I mean sitting around, drinking, smoking and bullshitting... well... there's a shit ton more to life than that man.

Expand your horizons and see if you can find a new fun. New kinds of fun will bring new people into your life...

Cuz from what you expressed it sounds like everyone else grew out of it and you haven't. Seems like you're letting your idea of "fun" hold you back. I mean what kind of 40 year old wants to go hang round with college kids all the time? Sorry but that just screams "pathetic" to me. It's like the line from dazed and confused "That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age. " Do you really wanna be THAT dude?
 
Uber I can see how you might feel that way, but not me. I've always been willing to hang out with older and younger people, and it hasn't changed. IRL I don't put off the "creepy" vibe, and it's really never been an issue. I'm fat so I'm not a threat to relationships. Fuck, it's all worked out fairly well.

I do tons of other things for fun, and with anyone wanting to play and not a dick, being accepted. I prefer mental to physical activity, by nature, but I've recently gone hiking and I'm always down for camping and such. I like lots of activities, but they usually end up with some people sitting around bullshitting at some point. heh. I've found what makes me happy, and I'm in no way ashamed of it. I revel in it. I truly don't give a fuck what kind of judgements people would pass, 'cause IRL I don't really have that problem. Even with my "friends" having somewhat changed, I'm fairly universally liked or at least "Ok" to the majority of the population. They aren't on WTF hearing my thougts though.
 
The next step: Ice Cream van...

You're 40ish... hanging around 18-24ish? Creepy. You don't think you give off the "creepy vibe" but trust me dude... vibe or not, that shit is just creepy.
 
I've gotten to thinking about this problem. There's nothing inherently creepy or wrong with a 30 or 40 year old person trying to score or at least have fun. The problem is the only readily identifiable source of fun is undergrad college students. They're legal and statistically single. Right around graduation age, all the chiX0Rz start getting married so there's a big drop-off in single women ages 22 and up. The problem isn't creepy old dudes. The problem is the institution of marriage. People get sucked into it way too early & easily and it doesn't help anybody.
 
Pfft, way to make judgements. Like I said, I'm up for hanging out with anyone who wants to hang out, and isn't a douche. If that's bad, then I'm Evil Incarnate.
 
I really find it hard to believe that EVERYONE you know is a douche. I know lots of people and only one or two of them are real douches, and I don't hang out with them. And yeah, the people I hang out with are busy performing important services for the um, populace, but we love each other enough to try and make time for partying and hanging out with the family and making huge dinners to feed a small army and staying the night because we all got fucking shit faced and then we eat all the left overs for our afternoon breakfast. You don't have ANYONE that does that with you because they are all douches? I'm not saying that is what you said, but that is the impression you give off.

Try volunteer work, like at the library. I bet you would rock at reading to the little kids.
 
Not at all hun! I know plenty of non-douche types, though they seem to get more press. I like lots of people in my life, it's just a lot of them are too busy to do anything. Which is fine and all, but I WANT to do something, and I have the will to make it happen. Shit hun I've had some really good times of late, but they're too spread out for my taste. I just want to do more, to see more, to live more in the time we have, which is sorta just like right now.

I may like some people I get together with once or twice a year, but I don't really consider them close friends because that involves actually being in someone's life, at least a little.

So anyways. Hi DG. Howya doin hun? :)
 
Just cuz they're judgments doesn't make them wrong dude. 40 year old guy crashing a frat party. It's either desperate or creepy. Probably both.

Like or not, I call it like I see it.

As I said, find new fun. Join a book club, find an outdoors club, find a social club. (There's a shit fucking ton) Or... heaven forbid, spend time with your family!
 
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