Unemployment and Divorce

I don't envy you.

Divorce when children are involved is hard, complicated and painful.

I don't think anyone really wants to admit failure but the only advice that I can impart is this:

No matter what your soon to be ex does or says (esp to your daughter) you can only be accountable for your behavior. If he starts being a dick when she's a bit older and tries to fill her head with nonsense just treat her with love and respect and never say anything negative about her father to her or in front of her and in time she'll see he's full of shit.
 
Oh I know. She's a total mommy's girl, too.

I do want to make it clear though that to a point, his behavior IS justified. He caught me sexting two times. I never had extra-marital sex, and while what I did was fucked up and wrong, I was being told by good-looking men that I looked fantastic, something I never heard at home. What I was doing was wrong, but so was his. What I did is something I plan on talking to a counselor about once I start working again.
 
Getting a divorce is hard but as you've figured out will be a good thing in the long run and you are blessed to have a cool little chica! I wish you the best.
 
Like I said kr8or, I'm not proud of what I did. I screwed up royally when I did that. I know why I did it, but it doesn't excuse it, which is why I'm going to seek professional help when I start working again, otherwise I'm going to keep repeating the same mistakes. William's made it clear though that he's not interested in therapy at all, which is really unfortunate considering what he's done.

Edit: Just so there's no chance of confusion, by sexting I mean sending inappropriate pictures.
 
It's justified.


If someone isn't getting emotional or physical satisfaction out of their marriage due to their partner's actions, it's human nature to seek them elsewhere.


I see nothing really wrong.
 
I still feel bad. I could have tried telling him again that I wasn't getting what I needed from him....oh no wait, that would have resulted in thirty different promises, all of which were broken in four days or less.

At least he didn't throw me over the couch....oh nope, did that too.
 
Its saying something that you have the balls to admit it. I see in another post that you said you didnt try to talk to him about it because you didnt want broken promises. Perhaps he's felt your distancing from him and feels no need to follow through. Afterall you're sending inappropriate pictures to someone else. Its really crushing for a guy... and who wants to make something work when the girl of your dreams appears to not care enough to talk before it becomes a problem.

You should be grateful that he's taking things so well. Some guys would have killed you.
 
Sent. I stopped sending them because I recognized the downward spiral. I was becoming dependent on outside sources of approval, instead of me approving of me. The broken promises I'm talking about is every promise he's made to me in our entire relationship he has broken, without having the balls to own up to it. He treated me as a sexual object for well over a year, he would frequently use his superior size to intimidate me, he threw me over our couch, he'd punch holes in the wall next to my head after forcing me against it, and he would frequently back me into a corner and yell right in my face. I took his bullshit, his neglect, and his lies for most of our marriage. I was unhappy and depressed. Every week he'd promise me something, and within two days he'd have an excuse as to why he couldn't keep it that time. All the reasons I fell in love with him to begin with were all fabrications, gross exaggerations or outright misstatements of his true self. I made excuses for him and his behavior for two years if not more, and it took a kind word from one of my best friends for me to see that what I deserved better than what I was going through.
 
Both my exes and I parted on amicable terms and resigned to basically not talk about each other to the kids and work out polite shared custody time without any courts.

However, my mom filled us kids with nonsense and she still does.

So moms do it too, purposefully.

CL's ex does it to his kids all the time.
 
My dad trash talked my mom my entire life, but in his defense she really was a crazy piece of work.



If you guys can agree to not talk about each other in front of the kids then it'd probably be great. Otherwise when the kids get older they'll start to realize who's spouting the bullshit.
 
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