Ugh!!!!!

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mindy1974

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hi secrets,
it was really great to read that you made it over the weekend! it totaly reminRAB me that all craving will pass if we just ride it out. and you took action to make sure that you could cut down on the cravings by haveing boundries at work! good for you! i think my cravings have been bad in the past week because i started hanging out with a X boyfriend. all my feelings of not being good enough have been kicking my butt. so i need to pull back and refocus on my recovery and not on my X who does not want to be with a person who has relapsed. its really nice to know why last week was so hard for me, hanging out with him is as smart as becoming a bartender!
have a great monday!
Der
 
HAHHAHA Derlinda! That made me laugh when you said "hanging out with him is as smart as becoming a bartender!!!" HAHHA Too funny... Yeah, I agree.... Good choice! I certainly am not going out to get a pharmaceutical license or any sort!! hahahhaa

Yeah, it's all about riding them out and knowing they will go away at some point and knowing that I am doing the right thing makes me feel good.

Sorry you had a tough week last week and weekend. We can get thru this together!!!! One moment at a time.

Hope your Monday is GREAT!
XOXOXOX
 
Hey Everyone,

I feel like every dang time I start a thread it's the same thing.. hahaha Oh well, every time it helps get it off my chest.

I AM HAVING ONE MASSIVE CRAVING ALL DARN DAY TODAY!!!!!!!!! I only have 15 minutes left of work and i think this has been by far one of the hardest days I have had in the last few weeks.

I am strong....... but this is driving me insane. I NEVER in a million years thought cravings would last this long. I actually have so much anxiety over it my shoulders are tingling.

Okay.... Got that off my chest. I HAD to get it off my chest before I left for the weekend and had to deal with it on my own for a couple of days.

Thanks!!!!!! Hope you all are doing GREAT and any Mothers out there... HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!

Have a good weekend.
 
Hi Secrets,

Cravings are going to happen! You have to accept that. 15% of recovery is stopping the use of drugs (detox, withdrawal). 85% is lifestyle change. Here are some tools I've learned from the Rehab Day Program I'm attending right now.

There are three principles to recovery.

If nothing changes, nothing changes.
Wherever you go, there you are.
Who's driving your bus?

Think back to your using days and put yourself in these three situations.
After that, think of who you are now.
Do you see any differences?

What did you do when you were using pain pills? Are you still doing it? What I'm saying is you have to change your lifestyle. You have to think of the big picture while still taking it one day at a time. You have to change your patterns. Here are some examples of ways you can change your lifestyle/patterns..

-Get out and exercise. You can do this on your lunch break during the week, and after work.

-Join a sports league (baseball, soccer, swimming etc.)

-Start an extracurricular activity. Gardening (which I know you already love), poetry, reading, photography etc.

-Learn to use positive self-statements (such as "I can cope with this, I am stronger than my addiction, I've come this far, my recovery is important to me).

-Change the way you think (turn a challenging situation into a positive one)

-When you do something, ask yourself "What is my real motivation."

It isn't easy to change your lifestyle. Remeraber, you didn't become an addict overnight, so you have to give yourself time :)

Cravings can be SO intense that you get extremely frustrated. Learning to deal with urges and temptations is a very important part of preventing relapse. Here are some suggestions to help you cope...

-write out your thoughts and feelings

-talk to someone (in your case, come online and tell us!)

-eat or drink something (substitute another "behaviour")

-leave or change the situation

-distract yourself (do something unrelated to substance abuse)

-close your eyes and take deep breaths to relax yourself

-think of the consequences if you were to use

-think of the benefits of not using

I hope you are able to take something out of my experience with treatment, cause I know your situation and I understand why you aren't able to even consider looking into something like this.

I hope you enjoyed your weekend :) Let me know if there's anything else I can do to help.

Love emsmom
 
Hii Secrets, I've missed you ! I hope you're making it ok. Please stay strong. I know how tough cravings are. I want you to be alright. Let's talk. Mike S
 
Hey FrienRAB,

So... I first wanted to thank you all for your support. It's great to be able to lean on you all when I need assistance!

A little update.... This week I made a decision that positivity was the KEY. So Sunday night I gave myself a little pep talk. I went over all I have accomplished and also my set back. I decided that for me to be able to continue to move forward.... I really had to start trying to find the positive in really any situation I encounter. So far, I am proud.... However, I am realistic and understand this is far from over. I have a long ways to go but I feel happiness in big doses from time to time.... I don't know how to explain it except that I like it when it happens. Makes me see immediatly that I can be happy without the pills. I really can be.

Now, cravings are still VERY present. I deal with them as they come and move forward when they pass. I don't know when they will stop so I have come to the point that I am now accepting that they are going to happen. There are moments when I feel like throwing a big temper tantrum to be honest but what would the point of that be????

So, that is that. Life is good. I have some much to be thankful for and I am going to try to take time to sit back and really see what I missed while using.

You all are so special to me and I have so much love and admiration for you.

Blessings to you all.
 
Hi Secrets :)

You're welcome!! If I can pass along my knowledge to another addict and it helps them, then it's my pleasure :)

Don't worry about face to face interaction. I agree, it would be good for you if you tried NA, or met with a professional counsellor, however you aren't ready for that just yet. You'll know when the time is right :) You've done SO well with only the help of this board - can you imagine how much better it could be if everyone around you knew? You, and only you, can make that decision so trust your own instincts :)

Hope you had a good evening. Today has been extremely busy for me, so I'm looking forward to relaxing :)

Take care,
Love emsmom
 
Secrets - I wish I could figure out how I did it or what I did, but I have zero cravings and I'm somewhere into my 3 months now and pass the secret to recovery out to everyone. I even when through that one week bout where the pain started coming back in my arm and back and I took the Percocets for 3 or 4 days and when the pain decreased to being manageable, I just stopped taking them. I think the biggest deterrent is remerabering what I went though during the withdrawals when I was walking around the house every night with my whole body aching, feeling like crap and couldn't sleep and I was literally bouncing off of the walls. That is still very vivid in my mind and I hope I never forget it. Possibly being burglarized help, since that got my mind off of everything and recovering all of the items helped rebuild those endorphin pathways back in my brain that were destroyed by taking the drugs. That's what the cravings are - your body wanting the endorphins to feel good.

Hope you're feeling better come Monday.
 
you are catching on , your heart an you higher power , will lead you in the right direction, an your right the same routine has to change , you will eventualy, change your routine to suit your life syle , change is inevitable, take it easy , slow is good, i used to isolate alot when i was drunk , an i sometimes still do , but not for long , an my time wich is diffrent , i dont have time time to get in my head for to long , i need adult supervision, ha ha ha, yes its true , what ever path you choose today i am here to support you , i think that in time you will benafit from interaction with others face to face ,in time, an you do have alot of courage , what works for you may not work for me , but thats ok ,we take a little peace of information from everyone, an i have recieved more info from you then i will ever be able to give back , have a good day ,i will pray for you secrets:):wave::p oh an know one will shake there head , we have alot of respect for you, an the cutting back on the hours good for you , you are doing the right thing , oh by the way, i say that alot , call your friend, friend
 
That's a good approach to expect the cravings and plan for them. I'm glad to see that you are moving forward and that you realized that you CAN be happy w/o the pills. That's a might big step that people need to understand to keep on the right path. I know you can do it! Just one step at a time is all it takes. Keep up the good work. Good Luck to you!!
 
Thanks Denon!

I appreciate your kind worRAB! They really do help me!

I am just doing the best I can under the circumstance I have and it seems to be working.

Oh... I have big news... I am going to start a new thread though for that.

Thank you buddy! Man, we have been thru the ringer since we met huh?
OXOXOXOX
 
I'm still around, but been busy getting on with my life after my drug dependency. I do check in from time to time though. Taking care of yourself always has to be a priority. I remeraber putting my work ahead of my family a long time ago and I pay for that mistake even today. You have to take care of and think about, yourself also. Make yourself a priority, as well as your family. Keep busy to keep those cravings in check. Re-build those endorphins channels in your brain. I know you are ahead of the game and will get past this phase. Good luck!
 
step 2 pray for they obsesion to be removed , pray every day for this , its work an it works , recovery is a program of action , for me with consistency, its my humrable opion that you need some face to face interaction with your fellow addicts , plus a job may not hurt , my job in recovery pays dividens, an most of the time its just suit up an show up, this to shall pass our friend , hang in there :):wave:scott
 
WOW!

Where to even begin with you guys! First....

Emsmom, Thank you so very much for sharing your knowledge with me! It sounRAB like your day program is going great and you passed along a lot of great information to me! Thank you for that. After reading your reply, I started thinking...... The only thing that has changed in my life since becoming clean is that there are no pills... Everything else is the same. Obviously my job is the same, my nightly routine is the same, we have the same frienRAB, play the same games.... Maybe it's time I change things up a bit because life can get boring when it's the same thing over and over... Something new may be just what the Dr. ordered. So thank you so much!!!! You are such a wonderul friend and i appreciate your worRAB and concern!

Denon, HEY! It's been a while buddy! I have been thinking of you and wondering how you were holding up! I am glad to hear the pain flare is back down again!!!! For a while there you were miserable. I am so happy for you that you have not struggled with the cravings the way I have. You made a good point though.... My brian is just trying to heal and I have to fight thru the cravings so that it can. I will be stronger.......

Scott, Thank you for reminding me that prayer neeRAB to be a big part of this........ I am a prayer to be honest but for some reason I pray for so many other people and other issue's in life I forget to pray for him to take this obsession away from me. Thank you for bringing that to my attention... Today I am going to start doing this heavily! Face to face addict interaction would be best for me but as you know..... I feel too private to go seek outside help and I know that is foolish and a lot of you are probably shaking your head at me..... but that is how I am doing this. I do have one friend who is a recovering addict that I am hoping to speak to soon over the phone. That will be my first person to speak to about my addiction. It will be the first time I ever say the worRAB aloud and maybe that will help. It can't hurt, that much I know :) Plus, talking to a friend is always a joy!

Well, today I am doing okay. The weekend was busy and so is today. At least I have commited to only working until 5:30. Thanks to you guys and telling me that I need to cut down on my work to focus on myself and recovery I did make one change. Thursday I spoke to my boss and told him I could only work late one night a week and he said that was completely fine and he appreciated everything I did. He himself was wondering how I was putting in all those extra hours and staying sane!! hahaha SO.... only 1 late night a week for me and only until 7. So that was one change I made! TADA! hahaha

Okay, this is now a novel.... Love you guys!
 
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