lives. i hate high school.? Now, i never used to have this prospective. In all honesty, i used to love to go to school. But i recently learned that school really is a big social event with classes squeezed into it. As a freshmen i was in sports and so made a lot of friends in all grades and really had a great time. The drama was entertaining if anything i didnt think it was too extreme or bothersome. I just loved life.
The following year as a sophmore went the same way. Towards the end of that year i had a boyfriend and we got together in may. The month of july i was a victim of rape (not by my boyfriend) and i suffered severe post traumatic effects. I didnt tell anyone. But i became very isolated, but none of this was planned, it just happened. My boyfriend was a senior so he was going away to college in the end of august. So i started off my junior year..
Now im a senior and i guess that year of still being there but basically just being a zombie and not really socializing outside of school made me grow apart from my friends. I still have aquaintences, but now i feel very alone. I finally told people about the attack a couple weeks ago, including my mother boyfriend and 2 previous best friends that i know i can trust but have just grown apart from. I was very surprised to discover that they all thought the reason why i "ditched" them was because i had a boyfriend. It sortve angered me to hear them say that considering that first of all he's never home for me to be with him and secondly.. i was never ditching anyone, i stopped initiating conversation and quit sports so no one talked to me. I just kept that inside though, there was no point in getting angry.
Anyway, nothings really changed. i keep putting in effort to spend time with my friends again but they dont seem to want to hang out with me. i figured they would understand after i told them, i wasnt looking for pity, at least sympathy and understanding. I also just found out that this one particular girl hates me because i mentioned to several close friends that i didnt like her. I said this three years ago, and while the girl has every right to be upset bc i said it while i was also supposed to be her friend; i just cant believe that she would go to the extremes she has done including talking about me and getting people not to be friends with me.
i apologized of course. i was stupid back then and talked about people just like every single high school girl does. But that was a while ago. I feel like experiences have changed me and im past that. but this drama thing doesnt seem to end. I just want to escape it all.
I'm just at a loss of what to do bc your senior year is supposed to be a good memory, but i feel like i have no friends to share it with. I sound pathetic but i guess i do have some people to talk to but its just like random chatting not really what people would consider friends. i guess theres nothing i can do because this girl is making it impossible for me from getting closer again with my old friends.
The only thing i can do i guess is wait for the year to be over. Im just wondering is college like this? please tell me that the drama is no where near to what its like in high school and i have hope. lol
btw.. sorry for venting. im glad we have sites like this on the internet where you can get everything off your chest in a personal way but still have that anonymous feeling
The following year as a sophmore went the same way. Towards the end of that year i had a boyfriend and we got together in may. The month of july i was a victim of rape (not by my boyfriend) and i suffered severe post traumatic effects. I didnt tell anyone. But i became very isolated, but none of this was planned, it just happened. My boyfriend was a senior so he was going away to college in the end of august. So i started off my junior year..
Now im a senior and i guess that year of still being there but basically just being a zombie and not really socializing outside of school made me grow apart from my friends. I still have aquaintences, but now i feel very alone. I finally told people about the attack a couple weeks ago, including my mother boyfriend and 2 previous best friends that i know i can trust but have just grown apart from. I was very surprised to discover that they all thought the reason why i "ditched" them was because i had a boyfriend. It sortve angered me to hear them say that considering that first of all he's never home for me to be with him and secondly.. i was never ditching anyone, i stopped initiating conversation and quit sports so no one talked to me. I just kept that inside though, there was no point in getting angry.
Anyway, nothings really changed. i keep putting in effort to spend time with my friends again but they dont seem to want to hang out with me. i figured they would understand after i told them, i wasnt looking for pity, at least sympathy and understanding. I also just found out that this one particular girl hates me because i mentioned to several close friends that i didnt like her. I said this three years ago, and while the girl has every right to be upset bc i said it while i was also supposed to be her friend; i just cant believe that she would go to the extremes she has done including talking about me and getting people not to be friends with me.
i apologized of course. i was stupid back then and talked about people just like every single high school girl does. But that was a while ago. I feel like experiences have changed me and im past that. but this drama thing doesnt seem to end. I just want to escape it all.
I'm just at a loss of what to do bc your senior year is supposed to be a good memory, but i feel like i have no friends to share it with. I sound pathetic but i guess i do have some people to talk to but its just like random chatting not really what people would consider friends. i guess theres nothing i can do because this girl is making it impossible for me from getting closer again with my old friends.
The only thing i can do i guess is wait for the year to be over. Im just wondering is college like this? please tell me that the drama is no where near to what its like in high school and i have hope. lol
btw.. sorry for venting. im glad we have sites like this on the internet where you can get everything off your chest in a personal way but still have that anonymous feeling