Troy - Dont do it

B

Blink 182 ❤

New member
I know there is a thread on the worst movies of 2004, but this one is a one off.

I never thought my education at school would allow me to recall the history lessons/ family lines relating to what went on over 2000 years ago, but after sitting down to see Troy last night, I pulled the text books and confirmed that I really wasnt on the slippery slope to losing the marbles.

Acting and direction aside, this is one of the most hollywood convenience films to date, possibly pulling in all the actors on their weekend off from real work, plying them with dodgy lager, and giving the task of editing the 48 hours of the resultant canned material to monkeys.

Its now available from your local video store.

Dont do it.
 
It's "dumb but fun"...

If you rent it knowing that it's not going to be 'Gladiator' you can just enjoy the pure spectacle of the 3 hour 'scraps in skirts' show. I think it has the makings of being a cult classic.

Seriously it's worth a look simply for the bit when Sean Bean has the idea of storming Troy in the Trojan horse... he sees this guy making a little horse out of wood for his kid and honestly, you almost see the lightbulb appear above his head. It's a Joey Tribianni school of acting show piece!!
 
I'm almost embarrassed to say I have this film on DVD and enjoy watching it. I KNOW its not good, but its so watchable imo. Plus ppl in it are so fit.



My god, someone I agree with 100%
1. skrap in skirts. exactly!
2. JOEY TRIBBIANNI! I knew there was a reason why i foudn that scene so funny, and you just POINTED IT OUT! THANKYOU!
 
:D :D

we're the Troy Appreciation Society!!

The original tagline for Troy is:

"For honor

For victory

For love

For destiny

For passion

For Troy"

Lets add "RAB it's really not THAT bad!"
 
This film was utter pants! I don't like Brad Pitt at the best of times, but he was shocking in it... Nothing could have prepared me for Orlando Bloom though, he may be pretty but he sure as hell neeRAB some acting lessons...
 
This film was bad, the script sucked with certain lines seeming as though they had been lifted straight out of the gladiator script. Brad Pitt was good window dressing and little else, Orlando Bloom's character was immensely hateable. The one saving grace was Eric bana's Hector and he died.
 
Okay if people must watch this film simply for the 'fit' men in it then go ahead... but please don't take any of the supposed historical parts to be in any way accurate. They couldn't have got any further from Homer's version if they tried. It is awful. I could cope if the acting was ok but it really isn't!
 
Likewise. I've just watched it tonight and thought it was really good. Last hour or so was excellent.
 
I enjoyed this film ..... sobbed a bit too!

If you want a film to avoid, avoid the film Alexander - now THAT is really rubbish.

I would watch Troy again .... where's the "thumbs up" smilie?
 
This one ? :eek:

As for an action film, (apart from men fighting in skirts) , since when did anyone get a throat slash and not bleed /cough up all manner of breakfast / or wheeze profuselythrough the open wound.

Then the idea of pulling three arrows out of the torso without blood spurting forth......(maybe if it was The Rick Waller)..
 
I saw it at the pictures when it came out. .......It wasn't as bad as most people made out but it does have some of the worst casting I've ever seen in a film.

The Odysseus in my imagination definitey didn't speak with a Sheffield accent.

....and Helen - Not so much the face that launched a thousand ships as the face that launched the new branch of Costcutters on the Ipswich ringroad.
 
If you analyse this film, in every single department, it is complete and utter garbage, and guess what... I like it! I have a panchant for truely awful films, you know the ones, they're soooo bad, they become good. Part of why I like it is the irony that you just know that anyone from 'middle America' who saw this thought it was a true representation of the battle of Troy. But lets face it, a film that was an accurate translation of Homer just wouldn't work. In the end this is a popcorn film that alot of people maybe hoped would actually be a successor to Galdiator and hence were very dissappointed. Hopefully they'll get their wish when we see '300'.
 
OK - just watched the trailer for 300 and... it isn't exactly Gladiator 2. Looks very good, but you can tell it's made by the same people who gave as Sin City - quite a cartoony or more accuratly Graphic Novel style, which is exactly where it came from. Has then potential to either be very good, or another Troy!
 
Some people I know weren't happy with the portrail of Achilles and also his realtionship with his *cough*cous..lover*cough*

I did however, like the proverbial "passing of the torch" onscreen with
Orli killing Pitt...
 
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