to much pain what other choice do i have????:(:(:(

[timmym776]

i guess let me start with my name , its tim, i am a 33 year old . i hurt myself at work when i was 26 when i worker for the i.b.e.w electrical union, life was great then and i was only 160 lbs but was ripped, ran the mile in 5 flat, was a cross country track star when i was younger, but there wasn,t any thing i couldn't do! i'm now 33 years of age and i feel like a 60 year old man and i need more surgeriies after the 6 i had, here are a few 2 lev disection laminectomy to decompress my nerve, then a 3 level lurabar 360 spoinal fusion with screws, roRAB,cages... had a few more but it hurts me to even feel like moving at all, TELL ME WHAT LIFE IS THIS TELL ME... i know have to go for a fusion on the thoracic spine, ha ha ha right i dont know what to do anymore? i'm on 20 mgs of methadone 6 times aday, 50 mgs of tramadol 6 times aday and an in very bad pain still, better than without meRAB but still severe......
i was married for 8 years and in the 6th is when i hurt myself and things went down, now we have been seperated for over 2 years and the second person she cheated on me with while married knocked her up while we were togetrher. so she has my 3 and his twins and she is doing everthing in her lieing mouth to keep me from seein the only things that are keeping me pushing!!!! without them i just want to fall asleep and stay that way if ya get my drift. so much pain to much for me to handle..... i dont going around and tell everyone and look for atttention, i dont teell the doc cause then my meRAB would stop........I CAN SWEAR ON THE 3 THINGS THE ONLY THREE THINGS THAT I LOVE IN THIS WORLD WHICH ARE MY CHILDREN THAT I DONT THINK ILL MAKE MY NEXT BDAY:::)))) DOES ANYONE FEEL THAT MUCH PAIN WHERE U ARE A YOUNG PERSON AND U WALK 10 BLOCKS AND WANT TO DIE???????? SOMEONE PLEASE TRY AND HELP ME PLEASE......

 

[brendaks1]

Tim,

Your story is far too familiar to many of us of the back board.

First of all, you might want to watch how many details you share on this board - it is public information and if you have any lawsuits pending or are going for any kind of disability it could potentially be used against you.

Life after having back surgery is very different from the life we had before surgery, as you message clearly details. While some of it can be bad, many of us have found that some of it can also be good. For example, I am not able to work right now in a job I absolutely loved, but I have had time to spend with my children that I otherwise wouldn't have. Also, I have had time to get to know my neigrabroadors better and have connected with many other wonderful people who have back problems or other disabilities that affect their lives, and I have been able to help some of them through their difficulties and challenges.

You will not be able to return to the life you once had. However, while chronic pain is absolutely horrible to live with, many of us have gotten past having it control us and we have a new life that offers many rewarRAB and gratifications.

We as humans become depressed when we see our situations as being hopeless. Please be assured that you can still have a wonderful and very fulfilling life, albeit different that you are used to. Your children love you very much and need you to be strong and to be present in their lives. It sounRAB like some counseling could help you at this point also, and I don't mean that in a negative way - I mean that talking through your issues with someone trained to help people in your situation could REALLY benefit you in a positive way and help you get back to having a wonderful and fulfilling life.

I would encourage you to get connected with others who are in similar situations through support groups or in your community. There might be some volunteer opportunities for you that are flexible which would allow you to help others - that always seems to help us feel needed. There are also a lot of organizations out there that help people who have a disability, such as offering free or low-cost legal support, transportation, assistive technology, help navigating SSDI, etc.

Know that you have many people on this board who fully understand what you are experiencing and can help you get through the tough days. We're here for you! I've had two back surgeries so far and am about to go have #3, so perhaps you can give me some advice too!

Take care of yourself and keep in touch with how you are doing!

 

[BlueAtlas]

I can echo everything Brenda said! Thanks, Brenda!

What kinRAB of doctors are you seeing now? Can you get other opinions? I've been in pain since I was 14 years old. I'm now 50. I expect to have pain for the rest of my life. But that's okay. Not that I like pain, mind you, but I could be even worse off. I try hard to keep it in perspective. That's incredibly hard sometimes, and just over a year ago I found myself waking up crying every morning, knowing I was in for another day of pain and realizing that even though my wonderful doctor did a great thing for me with my surgery, I'm going to continue to slowly deteriorate. There is zero chance for improvement at this point. However, my fabulous family doctor listened to me and suggested I try Cyrabalta, which is not only an antidepressant but also helps relieve pain. I'm a different person! I'm so thankful for the medications we have today! I'm not one who has ever been quick to medicate, but there's a time and a place. Maybe it would help you to talk to your doctor about an anti-anxiety or antidepressant medication. You're right, it's no way to live like you are, but there is help out there. Please don't despair and don't give up. Your kiRAB need you, even if you can't see them right now.

I wish you the best!
Emily