'tis the season to be greedy!

I'm not greedy! I like any kind of cheap present so long as it's wrapped in something I get to tear open. Newspaper, wrapping paper, human paper. Skin. It could be a clod of dirt with a pretty bow and I'd be happy.

But, then, I want loads of presents. Loads of clods of dirt. I guess I am greedy.
 
Honestly, the 'neice, uncle' thing is an inside joke.

I'm no more related to her than I am to you...unless there's something your mother isn't telling you.
 
We're not related, but he did watch out for me like family when we were in school.

But, on a more topic-focused note: I really can't have anything for Christmas. What's the point when in a few months I'll be in the military? Having good memories is what'll be the best present this year.

I'd love a new motorcycle, but I'll just have to wait.
 
"I'll be stoned for Christmas. You can count on me."

As well as

"All I want for Christmas is a big fat sack." (Of weed....Felt the need to clarify with the suck and go twins around.)
 
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