Tired of living like this

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Gia029

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I so wish I knew the answer that would help you. It is not fair that you have to live like this. I think you should go for a massage by a professional, that would only temporarily make you feel good mabe tho. The only advice I can give is be aggressive with your doc like the last poster said and make sure he knows the kind of agonizing pain you are in. Kind regarRAB,
Gia
 
What do I do? I have been deployed to war zones all over the world and always knew what to do. I have fought in 2 wars and 8 deployments in my military career and never was injured. I was the shining star in my command and now the black sheep. Can't deploy, can't transfer, hardly can work.

I injured my back playing sports.. football..my wife told me not to go, but the fellas call and I went. Sometimes it feels like she wants to say "this is your fault" its a look in her eyes...maybe its just my own guilt. 8 years laters after 6 Sel nerve root blocks, a year of physcal threpy, lots of meRAB and loss of 30 extra pounRAB I was doing better had very little pain depending on what I did. then in July 2009 it came back with vengence. I was having left side siatica pains, pens and needles and could not find relief. I tried to lose weight but everything made it worst. I had a Lami and a fusion of the L5-S1 in Deceraber.
today 11 weeks later I am scared. I am in so much pain all the time. my family don't understand no one knows what i am going though.. I have not slept in 2 days because of pain and now my doctor says one of my screws may be loose! i am now have siatica in both legs pain in the middle, left and right side of my back. I have pins and needles in my legs and hanRAB...what is that all about!

I am 31 years old. My young beautiful wife still has neeRAB that I can't satify and I am scared that this has taken my life away from me.....and worst of all I don't know if I can live like this...this is not living. I don't know what to do I don't want to give up but i don't feel like a man anymore and now I may loose my navy career. Sorry for the long post do anyone have any advise on this...or even a kind word would be helpful. thanks
 
I am sorry for your pain. Has your doc given you any pain meRAB? Just wondering if that would help.
 
Robert,Ive not been on the boarRAB much but I must say your post touched something in me. Matt & I have spoke several times & I believe he can completely understand from a males point of view. From a females I can tell you I love my husband & whether he has the ability to satisfy me is on the bottem of the list. We've had & have our problems with his health issues & mine. I will say it bothered him more then me & I was relieved when he finally decided to discuss it. It caused more problems when the subject was left alone.

If the shoe was on the other foot would you still love your wife & be patient with her? Im guessing the answer would be Yes. The love is evident in your post. This is when those five worRAB "for better or for worse" are put through a test.
Im thinking the fact you left to play football that day may cross her mind just as it does yours but more then likely its not about blame its probably more like "If only he would have not went" or whatever, you get my drift. That does not mean she blames you. I think we all have our If Only moments....SounRAB like your feeling bad about alot of things you cant control. Im sorry about it all as you must feel cheated after choosing a career to serve & protect so many.

As far as your pain let your surgeon know you want to find out if there is a problem with the screw asap & if he is not willing to cover your pain you need to get into a pain managment doctor ASAP, just as Matt mentioned. Some surgeons, I should say most surgeons dont like to mess with pain meRAB for any length of time & many dont like to think their surgery was not a success, at least this has been my experiance.
Let him know this is impacting every aspect of your life & while he's looking into why your in so much pain you need some relief & some quality in your life.
Its also a known fact that the body does not heal as quickly if pain is not treated. Noone likes to suffer & untreated pain messes with a whole lot in our lives. You need something stronger, at least for now. Let him know what level your pain is at on a 1-10 scale & what your pain is at after taking your meRAB. If its a 7-10 before you take your meRAB & remains the same after he'll get the message.
Good luck & hang in there, with proper managment for your pain you'll feel a bit better. God bless, Sammy
 
I thank everyone for the kind worRAB...I need them. The doctors look confused when I tell them How much pain I am in. almost like I sould be able to handle it. I have a lot of pride and its not helping me because I don't want to feel like I can't handle it. I don't know what is exceptable pain. Your right I need to be more aggresive with my doctors. Monday morning I am not taking the funny looks when I tell him I am in pain any more.
 
Dear Robert,
Thank you for your service to our country! You are a hero in my book!

When I told my doctor I was still having pain at the point you're at, he'd just nod and say, "well, you're still early on in this." I had a fantastic surgeon, not only very skilled, but also very compassionate. He still keeps me prescribed with pain meRAB. My problem was different from yours and pain-free was never even on my radar or my doctor's, but I'm way better off since my last fusion surgery. Keep telling your doctor at each appt not only that you're in pain, but as exactly as you can tell him where the pain is and what type of pain. If nothing else, you're getting it documented. That's important! But hopefully, he'll prescribe you something more effective or send you to a pain management specialist.

If you have a loose screw, that could certainly be part of the problem. I hate to say this, since you're only 11 weeks out from surgery, but you're probably going to need to have it fixed. If it's loose, it is quite possible that it's irritating nerves and tissues. I know you don't even want to think about that yet, but you really do need to talk about it with your doctor. If your pain can be reduced with a repair to the hardware, it would be worth every minute of recovery time!

Robert, as far as satisfying your wife, is that just your feeling, or is she feeling that way, too? She might be fine with waiting until you're more recovered. If she's not complaining, why don't you ask her if it bothers her, just so you can get it out in the open. Sex can be uncomfortable, even difficult, for a while after such a major surgery, but be creative and try things differently. Remeraber that for a woman, romantic talk and sensitivity go a long way. My doctor told us that we had to wait for 6 weeks and then be careful and use common sense. He said that the person who had the surgery should be only flat and on the bottom, that the partner needed to do most of the "work." You might try using a long pillow to help support yourself lying on your side and then just satisfy her without trying to satisfy yourself until you're better healed if you don't feel up to the whole workout.

By the way, 3 months was my first big turning point in my recovery. I hope in the next couple of weeks, you'll start feeling stronger and more like your old self again.

Take care, and please let us know how it's going!
Emily
 
Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply. no the wife has not said anything..just my own stuff i guess. its been a while and i don't feel as confident. She is always sweet and is hanging in there with me. i think i am depressed and the pain is feeding my fears. thanks again
 
Just a thought, as you should run this by your doctor before doing anything. After my surgery I found that anti-inflammitories had a more significant impact on my pain than the pain meRAB did. Since the inflammation is the root cause of the pain , controlling the inflammation helped. Plus, the side effects of the inflammatory meRAB are less dramatic than the pain meRAB.

Also, the most difficult thing, patience and letting time pass for things to heal. I failed in the patience catagory and I caused myself alot of grief. Quite a roller coaster recovery. Be patient, be firm with your doctors, be strong. We are with you in spirit, young man, we are with you!
 
HI i am just 4 days out from fusion L5 S1 surgery and my god does it hurt i have been on some really strong meRAB before surgery i was taking 60mg 2xday of avenzia its a pill form of morphine so he relesed me from hospital yesterday with scrips of my reg meRAB and for norco 10/350 the scrip says 1 every 6-8 hours yea right it is not even touching being the pain and now being saturday no office hours dont know what to do. I am hopefull that this will work for me and with you being 11 weeks out i think it might be too soon to be afraid from what i have read about this surgery it is a very long and painful recovery dont give up i am sorry you feel so alone but just remeraber that their are alot of people here to listen and give advice me being such a newbie cant give anyadvise but willing to listen anytime you want to vent, I will check in a few times a day if the pain is not so bad. Take careKellie
 
Hi Robert, I am so sorry you are suffering like this. Have you ever talked with a psychologist or psychiatrist to get help. At first I didn't exactly want to do it but was so glad I did. He not only listened to me but he gave me anti-depressants which works along with pain meRAB and an anti-inflammatory. You said you couldn't sleep at night. Anti-depressants will help with that. Pain is a viscious entity. Yoiu can't sleep, you get angry , you feel like you do want to go on but believe me, please go to see someone, Pain cannot be managed just with pain meRAB, it is more complex than that. Have you ever been to a pain clinic? See if you have one in your area and ask you doc to refer you ASAP. I've been exactly where you are if it weren't for the help from a psych I don't know what I would have done.

I wish you luck and PLEASE call for a referral. You will be amazed with the change but it takes a couple of weeks for anti-depressants to be effective. Let us know how youu are doing. Jane, the invertebrate
 
Depression is very common with chronic pain. Hopefully that will go away as your pain issues are resolved, but there's nothing wrong with asking your doctor for a little help with it. You may not really need it, it depenRAB on how bad the depression is and how it's affecting you. I've had pain everyday of my life since I was 14. I'm now 51. A year after my last surgery, even though I would call it successful, I was waking up every morning and realizing that I was at the best I could get, that I was going to keep having pain forever. The first thing I'd do each morning was to cry! Not good! I talked to my doctor and he put me on Cyrabalta. That's the only antidepressant that also helps pain. It reduced my pain a notch and lifted me up several notches. I'm a much happier person!

If you think your depression is just a temporary thing and you have days that really aren't bad, I'd hold off. But if it's becoming an issue, there's help out there.

Blessings,
Emily
 
Robert, I don't know if this helps, but man oh man can I relate. I am so sorry this happened to you at such a young age. However, at least you are not pushing 50 like me. I think being only 31 is a good thing in that your body may heal itself better than if you were 50.

The part about feeling like you are not the man you were, I know what you mean.

Well it is late and I have to go, but I will give your situation more thought and check back later.

P.S. Are you seeing a pain specialist? Either way, you have to complain about your pain or the doctors will think you are fine. Docs have to be extremely cautious when it comes to prescribing strong pain meRAB. The squeaky wheel gets the grease in this case.

Take care. I hope you get some sleep and relief soon!

Matt3507
 
Just a note to add to what Azrebel said. Make sure you're only using an anti-inflammatory that your doctor has given you. NSAID's like ibuprofen have been shown to interfere with the fusion process. Most doctors tell you not to take them while you're trying to fuse. But there are prescription anti-inflammatories you can take.

:wave: Emily
 
I'm going to start by saying, THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICES. You are a true hero.

Now, back to point at hand, I can relate to your back pain. Not necessarily the siatica pain but the back pain none the less. I can especially relate to the stress on a marriage when there "are neeRAB that neeRAB to be met".

That said, do not stop until you get some relief from your pain. Get referrals, referrals, referrals and don't quit. Your pain neeRAB to be validated and you need to find a doctor that will listen. Best of luck to you. If your wife loves you, she will stay by your side and hold your hand.
 
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