Things To Come

[thethinker234]

Well, as I've said this before already, I'll spare the gory details. Ironically, I've made it through yet again, its been 3 months of high-octane chaos, and as I most accurately predicted I was homeless, but the thing that amazes me is my endurance to this great tragedy that befell, and I never believed I'd make it this far, and its beyond an epiphany of fate. But what about the many things I've lost in my life just to reach this point? Its been an traumatizing experience, but I suppose surviving it and seeing this through is what counts right? Well I dont know what there is to life for anymore, I mean I have some investments now at least but at what cost?? I have lost plenty and yet all I've won is my freedom, independance and security, so I suppose it can't be that bad, but the experience of being kicked out of my home has still left be dazed and confused, in fact I hardly believed such a surreal nightmare could take place and my family could be so cruel, but I guess that finally confirms my thoughts and they cannot be pretentious hypocritically virtuous anymore as their actions have been made boldy public. I guess this only means one thing- We Move On. No matter what the stakes were, and how slim our odds of success were, we're still alive and got my money invested right? But somehow things don't feel so reassuring...
In the present context things seem too mystified to have a clear perspective on and I may never never the damage this has done to me, but its obviously too late to turn back now, as I have attempted suicide and yet survived, whats left is to simply pick up the pieces and continue to long and winding process of living.
My current priorities now lie in leaving my home asap, and finally regain some much sought after freedom, but this wont be as easy as expect since I did not recover my entire bank funds, plus the expenses will be far too overwhelming as I had once planned it to be, and I'm left with a lot less than what I bargained for, which is confounded luck, and so I'll have to manage and adjust to a much more simplified lifestyle! And then theres the very big problem i.e. half my possessions are missing since I returned home from this horror, sometimes you need to learn to let go I think, so if worse comes to worse that'll be the case and I just damn the past and continue with whats left of this shattered mind. The rest as they say is history, but besides moving out, and possibly ignoring the losses incurred, I'll then have to concentrate on my education that continues to lag and haunt my mind. But I have confidence in myself that it can be done in due time, next will be my ecommerce sites that I have planned to launch for so long, and hopefully it'll be possible however currently my pc is inoperable and needs to be fixed so more setbacks and hurdles in my way, just what we need...
Lastly I'll need to contemplate my future taking into account the past few experience and probably become more pragmatic and realistic, keeping with the times... Probably continue my research on my fav. subjects, then get into a university, though not as easy as it somes and somehow use whatever resources are at hand to earn my fortune and rise against the tide...

 

[Allie hunter]

I have taken the time to actually read the other 2 posts you have done, both of which you are suicidal. I cant say this one is any better, you have to also wonder why they are kicking you out at the age of 18 or 17 as the case was in your previous posts. Maybe they are horrible people, then again maybe you're the one with the problem.

Regardless, your post made my head ache.

I am reluctant to provide advice to anyone who is clearly hiding the reasons for this mess in their life.

 

[v_me_love]

Is there a moral to this story, you ask? The point, I suppose, is that while we should follow our dreams, we should concentrate more on relishing the journey, with all its twists and turns and highs and lows. Life is absurd, and I guess the best we can do is enjoy the exhilaration of the ride, and try our best to keep alive a sense of playfulness and humour.

Failing that, one can sometimes take solace in the fact that life is not unlike my new haircut.

Crap. But short.

 

[Kamalni]

Not really sure why you'd be wanting to post half a story here. As Lady Victoria points out, the reasons for your situation are less than clear.

A sympathetic ear (eye) might be the result, but the chances are greater that the majority of responses will be less than charitable. The number of trained counselors/therapists on this forum can probably be counted on one hand, and there are many more sites or help lines who would be more qualified to provide a valid evaluation.

Having read your posts chronologically, it appears that you now think things can get better, and that you are responsible for changing them. Kudos to you for that.

Your attitude is the one thing over which you have complete control.

Hope things continue on a positive trend. If you again find yourself overwhelmed by external events, please consider talking to someone who can actually help.

 

[Agent Orange]

WOW!!

I have rarely heard someone so against growing up. Reguardless of what YOU did to get yourself out of your families home YOU should consider that most parents just will not put up with children living at home beyond a certain age.

I and my now ex-wife are in total agreement that it was a very good thing to kick both of my sons out when they turned 18. The good luck was on their side as their birthdays are at the begining of the year and that gave them time to either get into college or get a job and a place to live. Both took the time necessary to apply for jobs and for college in the weeks after their 18th and one went into college and the other is going into the navy. Both I and the ex are very proud of the boys/men. But it sound to me like your parents gave you everything you wanted in life and just let you have your way with out ANY instilled discipline you therefore have NO self discipline. Without self discipline you have only one road ahead in life, be warned, it is ALL uphill and charity will not exist if you keep the attitude that you are owed/due whatever you want. NONE of us here in this life is due anything beyond birth and death. But if you begin to administer SELF discipline upon yourself you just might not end up a bum out on the streets.