There is something wrong with my dad.

[LarrySmile]

Physically - very possibly. Mentally - certainly.

I don't really know where to start but tonight it has gotten on top of me, he is at this minute blabbering drunk nonsense at my mum (who is to any sane/sober person very obviously asleep as she's snoring) and I need a vent

My Dad has been an alcoholic since I was age zero, but as far as I'm aware not to the terrible extent that he is now. I remember him always being a little funny late at night when the wine had presumably caught up on him, but nowdays he ambles around the house looking half dead to the world at five in the afternoon.

Clearly his alcoholism is a deep seated thing, the possible causes for which I won't go into. We have tried and tried to get him to a doctor, but he is a stubborn man. He has gotten worse and worse recently, and a few months back we caught him with a knife - he said he was going to cut his wrists and as soon as I'd snatched the phone and summoned the ambulance he seemed to snap out of something and assume his usual ''don't be ridiculous, i'm fine'' thing which he totally fooled the paramedics with. At hospital, the family felt completely failed by the NHS. A man who'd be caught with a knife with the intention of doing himself harm had been let back home the very same evening.

Since this event especially, his alcohlism and perpetual vomiting has gotten worse and worse, he looks to be away with the fairies more then ever, and is rake thin. Doctor has finally cajouled him into having an endoscopy performed to check out his stomach as he is highly aneamic which may point to an internal bleed, and Doc wants to rule out the dreaded.

At this point I'm not really sure what i'm worried about. He appears to be missing something mentally, but more than anything he just looks terrible.

Could this just be a nasty case of stomach ulcer? Even if it is just that, what the hell is going on inside his head?

I'm sorry, this thread doesn't really have much of a direction, I just needed to say something and I thought maybe someone might have had similar experience, maybe

Thanks for any input or comment

 

[Danielle Marie<3]

My heart goes out to you!

I am no expert, and have no professional training in addiction or recovery, but I do have experience in the trenches, as they say.

It sounds like many of your dad's problems are related to his alcoholism. I'm sorry the system has failed you before, but luckily, it sounds like your dad has a doctor he is willing to listen to (at least sometimes!) Would you be comfortable leveling with the doctor about your father's illness? The doctor could (should!) help you get your father the help he needs. Furthermore, YOU deserve to live in a safe, happy, and consistent environment -- none of which are possible for long with an alcoholic.

You didn't mention your age, but you say your father has had a problem with alcohol all your life. Keep in mind that your mother may be unwilling to confront the problem, and may even be angry with you for trying to address it. She has obviously lived with it for years. Does she enable his drinking - by providing his alcohol, covering up for him at work, or making excuses for his behavior? Or is she "trapped" with him, because of her financial circumstances? These are very hard questions to think about and answer honestly when it is your own family you are talking about.)

Meanwhile, be careful, and take care of yourself. I wish you all the best -- alcoholism is a tough nut to crack. It takes a lot of commitment and stamina to help a loved one toward recovery.

 

[Maddie]

Hi. My father died of end stage alcoholism and it's a tough, tough journey. If you have an Al-Anon group anywhere near you....go. You will need their support.

You can't change this. You have to accept that. He knows he is killing himself......all alcoholics do. My father called it suicide by sips. Your job is not to stop him but to protect yourself. I tried an invention with my father and it did nothing. I found out from my Al-Anon group(family and friends of alcoholics) that is has to be the job of the alcoholic and no one else.

Alcoholics die from many health problems. Cancer can be one of them. My father, with money and good doctors died a very slow and painful death from organ failure...one organ at a time. He stretched out what should have been 5 years of he!! to 10. Sometimes getting a bad disease and dying quickly can be better for everyone so don't be scared.

I know this sounds harsh but I learned it the hard way. The brain starts to get fried and they can hallucinate and talk rubbish and don't even realize the people they are talking to are asleep. They are out of it and it gets worse. My father was a very respected engineer who was involved with the development of the atom bomb. He asked me, 4 months before he died, where the sun had gone. It was 10pm. He asked if it would be back tomorrow. His brain was pickled.

The physical problems can be horrifying. From bleeding arteries in the stomach with massive vomiting of bright red blood to the jaundice of liver failure, I've seen it all. And he killed his pancreas with inflammation and was diabetic on top if it. He would keep a bottle of sweet vermouth in one drawer of his desk at work and dry vermouth on the other side. If he had too much insulin and needed sugar, he'd drink the sweet vermouth in belief that it had more sugar in it. If he had too little insulin, he'd stick with the dry to keep his sugar normal. All he did in the end was drink.

Yeah, I've seen it and lived it and it is so hard to sit back and do nothing but the reality is, you can't change a thing. He has to and it doesn't sound as if he wants to. Find support for yourself either in person or on line or both. He has made his choices and now you have to live your own life.

My dad died 3 days after my 26th birthday. I hope he finally rested in peace because he was anything but in life.

I am so sorry.

gentle hugs...........Jenny