There goes the summer

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nanatothesixth

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It has been awhile since I have posted, but I really didn't have much to say. Sure, I vent and complain alot--poor hubby! Have a few things going on with me, so here goes with the updates, along with some complaining. I saw the endocrinologist about the growth on my kidney. Good news is that it has not grown! However, thyroid medication neeRAB to get changed as I have gained another 15 lbs. Anyone need some extra weight? Watch what I eat and do whatever excerise I can. Funny. I can't even stroll my grand daughter around the corner. Last week end I ended up in the ER with leg swelling and pain behind the left knee. Thought there was a DVT--all tests were negative. I saw an Ortho(the same one who will do the partial knee replacement on my hubby), thought I had a bakers cyst, wanted a new MRI. Ok, fine. That was done today.....torn cartilege in the knee, need surgery. So, lets flip a coin and see what surgery we want first----fusion revision or knee??? I am ready to throw in the towel and say forget all surgery---I have had enough. I have had a total of 31 surgeries in my life...will they ever stop? I know there will be more back surgeries down the road. I have a gut feeling that the revision surgery will make the nerve pain/damage worse than it is now. My husband deserves a woman who can take care of him--that sure isn't me. Poor guy. Wish I had the nerve to tell him that I will divorce him if he wants someone else. He deserves someone better. Who am I klidding? With what I get on workers comp., I can't afford a divorce, nor can I afford my own place. These mood swings suck, big time. This roller coaster is worse than the emotions of a pregnant woman! Thanks for listening everyone. If I had known years ago what I know now about back surgery, I would never have had any of them done. I regret them all.

Pat
 
Hi Pat,
I'm sorry you're feeling so down right now. You do have a full plate, and it sounRAB like your plate is full of brussel sprouts! Yuck!

Have you talked to anyone about getting some help with your roller coaster emotions? I have fought depression for a long time, related to my pain and physical problems. I finally reached the breaking point, called my GP, and cried in his office for 15 minutes. I hadn't planned that. I knew exactly what I was going to say, but he walked in and greeted me and I burst into tears. He just grabbed a bunch of tissues for me and sat down patiently. He put me on Cyrabalta, and I'm so glad. I'm so much better. I feel normal for the first time in a very long time. The Cyrabalta also helps pain, especially nerve pain.

You husband married your for better or worse, in sickness and in health. He has his issues, too. You're in this together! Don't feel guilty about things you have no control over! You can feel guilty if you nag at him or have unreasonable expectations of him, but please try to let go of guilt over your own health problems. Find little things you can do for him to show him how much you appreciate him and that you don't take his support for granted. You'll both get through this!

Hang in there, Nana! Those 7 little ones need you in their lives! Keep doing whatever you need to to be as well as you can.

(((((hugs)))))
Emily
 
Hi just wanted to say I am sorry you are feeling so bad right now. I wanted to tell you that I have thyroid issues too and they maybe the cause of your roller coaster emotions. Not that being in pain is any picnic or uplifting to the spirit. I just went thru a bout with swelling and feeling completely useless myself. Guess what? Thyroid meRAB needed upped. I was also feeling really anxious and felt like I had a butterfly in my chest because I could feel my heart fluttering. So hang in there and know that when you get things back in balance again you will feel better. My emotions and swelling all resolved themselves once my thyroid was back in normal range. Take Care, Dee;)

PS I forgot to tell you I gained about 30 pounRAB without any change in diet or activity. Which should have been my first clue something was going on.
 
I want you to know how truly soory i am oyur feeling like this. I to was telling hubby i wish i could do more for him and not ask so much of him he just told me to stop all the foolishness this is what he wants and nothing else. I was taking cyrabalta but cause of money issues i quit and now i have some i just cant take it cause its the 60mg and it made me real sick when i tried i now it is something you have to go up in mg gradually. I havent paid attention to it but i recently have gained like 20 pounRAB and eating right killing myself at the gym ( this was all before the surgery of course) an i could not do anything about it when before i did not exercise as hard but i did exercise and the same with watching what i eat and i los like 80 pounRAB so i think i should really get my thyroiRAB checked and then ill do depression again. I do regret having the first back surgery as it has led to another now but i know in the long run i would NEVER think twice about what i did. I hope things get better for you soon.
 
Dear nanatothesixth

I though I had it bad. People always ask how I can stand it I say most days when I think I am having a bad day I say no I am not there are more people worse off then me. I have had about 12 surgery and facing another back. Well you said you have grandchildren so you have given your husband the best present in the world a family. It says for better or for worse. If it wasn't for my family I would not know if I could of handled it. And now will live in pain the rest of my life. Take care hun I can tell you are a strong person. A friend when you need one Deb:jester:
 
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