There are no surprises.

P

poo d

New member
It's like we're all stuck in a loop, and I'm feeling it now.

Shit is boring, lately. It's all routine; almost scheduled. I plan my outings, what I'm going to do, who I'm going to see, where we are going to go. There are no surprises. I've just lost my train of thought right now, lol. I had such a great speech prepared in my mind.

Am I depressed? I don't feel like doing anything. But I do. I want to do something extraordinary; something insane. Something I can get killed doing. I'm not talking drugs; I'm not talking violence. I'm talking skydiving. Bungee jumping. I'm going to get a motorcycle, even though I shouldn't, and pull it fast and hard. I just don't want to hit someone random; some housewife having sex with the pool boy because her husband's too busy screwing the secretary.

I guess the only reason why I'm even posting this is because I want to know if any of you have ever felt this way, even if I really don't. I don't give a fuck if any of you have felt this way. I know I feel like I need to travel. Or yeah, buy that motorcycle. Maybe date another girl?

I don't feel any better writing this, at all. I just feel more pathetic. I'm living in a dorm with a friend who just fucking gets high 24/7, and I'm ending up doing the same. I work, I drink, I eat, I smoke, I sleep, I fuck, I study. That's it. There's nothing else to me. I'm a leech sucking up resources. I want surprises. I want to be challenged as an individual, where I will have to make tough decisions. Life-changing decisions.

Yeah; but I'm taking it too far. I don't agree with everything I just wrote. Not all of it.
 
yeah, i know how you feel. i fell like that sometimes. like i just want to do something out of this world. i know you don't give a crap about my opinion, but who the fuck cares.
 
I used to feel restless like that all the time when I was younger. As I got older it subsided but I still feel that way from time to time. Perhaps it is a natural part of growing or perhaps you and I are just similar people.

The answer: Hard to say. I imagine it's different for everyone. Follow your gut. I'm not trying to talk you out of a motorcycle (I've owned a few and they are fun as hell) but it will likely only suppress these feelings you are having for a short time. However, after that (and during that as well) you'll have an economic means of transportation. By the way, though it will likely not be stated in Florida's Motorcycle Driver's Handbook that is published by the DMV, it is generally un-safe and rather frowned upon to ride a motorcycle in random people's homes. In abiding by this un-written rule you will greatly decrease your chances of hitting a random woman having sex with the pool man.

In the meantime, start a Fight Club on your campus, it worked for Tyler Durden.

Also and more seriously, take action. DO something. If your sitting around during the time when you are not fulfilling your obligations to others, you will grow restless. A little "alone time" with Rook (and I mean completely alone, top of a mountain alone) will likely help you decide what that action should be. Try being creative in whatever endeavor springs to mind. Creativity often helps me with restless feelings which is why I'm often fucking around in PhotoShop. I'm not creating anything Earth-shattering, as you have seen, but that's not what I'm attempting to do/the point. The point is to simply be creative through whichever medium strikes your fancy.

Hang in there brother. (You'll have to imagine a really stupid "Hang in There" cat macro as I'm not at my computer at the moment).
 
Is this what you had in mind...
lolcats_oh-noes_ihasletgo.jpg
 
This rant reminds me of a song. It goes a little something like this:

I believe I can see the future
Cause I repeat the same routine
I think I used to have a purpose
But then again
That might have been a dream
I think I used to have a voice
Now I never make a sound
I just do what I've been told
I really don't want them to come around

Oh, no

[Chorus:]
Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same
There is no love here and there is no pain
Every day is exactly the same

I can feel their eyes are watching
In case I lose myself again
Sometimes I think I'm happy here
Sometimes, yet I still pretend
I can't remember how this got started
But I can tell you exactly how it will end

[Chorus]

I'm writing on a little piece of paper
I'm hoping someday you might find
Well I'll hide it behind something
They won't look behind
I'm still inside here
A little bit comes bleeding through
I wish this could have been any other way
But I just don't know, I don't know what else I can do

[Chorus x2]

Boredom and routine are just part of life, buddy. Only the excessively rich or irretrievably stupid go for/get the big lives with fancy dreams, vacations and prizes. The rest of us play it safe cuz we have to; we just survive.

Probably didn't help, but it's true.
 
Rook your life is only as boring as you "Think" it is. Humans suffer from the grass is always greener syndrome, and modern people are getting worse and worse at it. You will never EVER be happy 'till you figure out how to appreciate what you have instead of pining over all the things you think you want. Sure there's more to be done, there always is. The problem is no matter what you're doing you can sit and think "Gee, I skydived last week, I rock climbed Everest yesterday... but today.... I'm fucking bored!!!!"

GAH!
 
I periodically go through the same thing. Typically that's when I take up a new hobby, pick up just enough know-how to do it in a subpar fashion, pursue it long enough to realize I'll never excel at it, and then leave it.

That's why I've got a bunch of half-finished stories lying around, an unfinished RPG, boxing gloves, a bass guitar, recording and composing software, a crate of books I'll never read, and random half-assed sketches all over the place.

What I'm saying is it's normal to feel the urge to do something new, something different. You're not alone. The nice thing about my method is that I can pick something up, work at it a little while, leave it when I need a change of pace, and then come back to it months or years later when it's fresh again. I'm still working on short stories I started writing in high school.

Try something. Pick up a new hobby. Learn a sport. Grow a plant. Knock her up. Just do something you wouldn't expect of yourself. If that doesn't work, you've got my blessing to buy your damned motorcycle.
 
Stop planning.

That will resolve your issue.

Get in the car and drive to nowhere for no reason at all. Ride the bus all day and see the city. Life is full of surprises. You just have to be willing to let go of the conforming to find them.
 
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