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- John Travolta's son's death occasioned the usual macabre deceptions and speculations.
- Barack Obama sold his children to paparazzi and put our lives in the hands of some TV doctor (not even a good one like House!) and he has so many shady friends! No wonder America's Hero, former Australian Prime Minister John Howard, stole Obama's house.
- The result of the genetic experiment to create the least likable scripted reality television show tangential cast-member ever also enjoys drugs and blowjobs, so maybe we're not so different, after all.
- The millionth season of MTV's gay panic game show [I]The Real World[/I] debuted! It is in Brooklyn this year, so we are moving to City Island.
- Steve Jobs called in "too sick and frankly already rich enough" for work.
- On this week's Gossip Girl Chuck [I]couldn't know about New Year's.[/I] Governor Unable To Stop Saying Incredibly Stupid Things thinks that show is classist and she won't even dignify your softball question with a response that makes any goddamn sense.
- This week Toby Young and Ann Coulter infected our televisions with unpleasantness. Oh, and Michael Wolff but he's not so bad.
- Our predictions: Lots of people will win Oscars and be fired by Jann Wenner, this year.Hoda Kotb gets through that last hour of work the same way we do!
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