The pain is changing me

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TxHunni:
What type of surgery took away your pain? I guess everybody's different. What works for some may not work for others. I miss the old me too.
Any advice appreciated. Thanks.
CFigh
 
Hi everyone:
This is the first time I've ever posted on a message board. I'll try to put this all in a nutshell. Car accident in 1992. Had a bulging disc L4-L5. Went through a lot to recoup, but after the years the spasms (sciatica) were sporadic. Strenghtened my back enough and just graduated from massage therapy school in August 2004. My back hadn't felt that good in ages. On June 24, 2004 I was rearended while stopped on I-4 by an 18 wheeler carrying cement girders. I had my 2 girls in the car at the time. The first hit broke the windows and as I turned to check if my girls were OK, the truck hit me again. Since then, I was diagnosed with C4-5 bulging disc, L5-S1 rupture.
Have done chiro, massage, physical therapy, cranio sacral therapy. Two weeks ago had 1st ESI. No improvement but not pain. This Thursday had second and am in terrible pain. Couldn't look down, pain in arm and shoulder.
Doctor send me to ER for MRI's. Cervical and thoracic don't show anything worth surgery but the pain is intolerable. Now my left arm and shoulder feels heavy, having spasms, neck still hurts. Pain pills don't seem to help. Spent this weekend in the hospital. Morphine and valium shots didn't even touch the pain. Worried that I might have a blood clot or something in my arm. Don't know what to do. My life has changed. I am not myself. My kid's miss their "other Mommy" the fun one. So discouraged. Any advice?
 
Hello~You sound like you need support and understanding which is what we all need when the pain gets to you and there are no answers. I'm pretty much in the same boat~my kiRAB are older though. I was injured 4 years ago lifting a patient at work~nothing has been the same since. I struggled to work through pain and PT until last year when a weakened left leg let me fall and I broke the rt. ankle in 4 places. It hasn't healed right~I can walk but everything is off centered~sometimes I need a cane; and all that makes the back worse. I take more pain meRAB than I'd like to mention, don't work or exercise anymore. It's a chore just to pick up around the house and dust. Have I changed! My God yes~ I am defininatly not the same person anymore. My poor husband and kiRAB~they try but just don't get it. My kiRAB are 19 and 23; but they still want their Mom to be their Mom. I was one of those do everything kind of women and now I stay home all day and could care less about much of what I used to. Part of it is depression. Most of us who live with chronic pain have depression in one form or another
and it can be almost as bad as the physical pain. All I can say is be gentle with yourself and respect yourself. Your kiRAB will still love you and there can still be good times~just different. You begin to appreciate a new normal and eventually it will be ok. Try to do what you can without exhausting yourself and risking further injury (that is how i ended up with my broken ankle!) ~some things are just not worth it! This board is very supportive. I havn't been on for a while but, usually go on almost everyday because you always learn something or can give or get support. God bless and take care; Sadies Mom :angel:
 
Hi,


Welcome to the board you'll find lots of info, support and see others just like you here:)::

So sorry to hear how bad thuings are for you. What type Dr is treating you now?

WHAT was done when the ruptured disc was found?

You mentioned I-4 I'm curious now, are you in Florida? I am;)

I do hope things get better for you ~ sounRAB as if your in terrible pain.

Gentle hugs,
Bionic Witch
 
Hi everyone:
I've been bad all week. Pretty much stay in bed bad. Today I see the pain management Doc. If he suggests another ESI (epidural space injection) I'm goint to kick him with my good leg. Don't know what to expect but I am a little apprehensive. I have come on and read other people's postings. What a shame that there are so many of us out there. It is a relief to hear about other people's success stories though. I am rarely in the mood to do much anymore, but I will try to keep you posted. Thank you for sharing your stories and opening up. I feel less shame when I vent in this forum. Sometimes you just get tired of complaining to frienRAB/family. I'm glad there is a place where you just don't have to be so "strong".
God bless, don't lose faith. Tomorrow is another day full of hope and chance. May the silence make you stronger.
CFigh
 
I can relate. I became a worse side of me through all my pain as well. Then after my surgery the kiRAB said it was nice to have me back. Of course they liked the post-surgery medicated me even better HA.

I can tell you, now that I'm no longer in pain.. I feel like I have a new lease on life. :bouncing:

I would seek another opinion to be sure there are no other options to get you out of pain.
 
Do you have insurance? The reason I ask is because I researched an ortho who works on NFL players or other professional athletes...their trauma/sports-related knowledge is very helpful. If you can find one and pick an insurance company that he/she takes, that might be a good option. Although the epidural may come up there too! ;)

Do you have an Annular Tear in the L5-S1? That's what I had. Everybody IS different. I had a successful IDET procedure last July (at least so far). Some have to do nothing, some have IDET, some have fusions (there are 4 - mechanical, bone graft, cadaver, and Bone Morphogenic Protein/BMP), and some have Artificial Disc Replacement/ADR.

That's why I ALWAYS recommend doing serious research into the type of ortho (or neuro or whomever), the specific specialist and their quals, and what options are available and the pros/cons.

It took 3 years to ID my Annular Tear (5 MRIs showed NOTHING...it took a discogram), and although I'd already started my research on back procedures, I spent an additional YEAR considering my options. Such a painful way to approach things, but I really wanted to be careful, whatever I decided.

The pain changed me, too...I don't feel as if I can share my pain with others and have begun to close up, even to the hubby. Fortunately, with the IDET a success (to-date) I'm beginning to feel as if I'm coming out of the wooRAB...SLOWLY.

Vent as much as you need here...this is by far the best place to find those who understand and support you!
 
Cfigh, the pain changes all of us and most not for the better. Prior to back problems I spent nearly every weekend camping, boating, skiing, playing tennis and any other nuraber of "FUN" things. Now my idea of fun is to wake up without hurting and being able to roll myself out of bed without help. Fortunately my 2 sons are older and seem to understand that I can't be the funloving mom they had 5 years ago. I do understand your being upset at not being able to do the things you used to do and love. I have found that one way to release anger is to come here and vent. The people here are great!!! Good luck!!! and try to remeraber that even during the worst pain you have.........you can come here and vent at us......Try to Smile!!!

Tammy
 
Hey Everyone:
Went to the pain management doctor last week. First thing he suggested was another injection. I told him, "absolutely not." I am 0 for 2 with him, $18,000 in the hole and worse off for trying.
Next step is to do a mylegram to try to figure this thing out. Man, this has been such a roller coaster ride. I have avoided talking to people this week because it is always the same thing, talking about how miserable I am. I refuse to talk about it. I feel like I have a split personality sometimes. There are times when I am hopeful, mobile, capable of doing light excercise. Then there are times where I pick up my kid, or help her out of her carseat and I am out of commission for 2 days. Oh well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Maybe tomorrow will be an up day.
We all say goodbye,
CFigh
 
Hey Bionic:
I have a Chiropractor/Cranial Sacral Therapist seeing me. I am also getting massaged about once a week. Now, the latest is the pain management doctor. He is the one that gave me the 2 epidurals, the last of which gave me this trouble.
The neurosurgeon that I was sent to said that I didn't need surgery on my cervical spine but that the discs involved in the lurabar region were going to need surgery in "the not so distant future."
I live in the Brandon area in Fl. Transplanted from New Jersey. Pain level is only about a 6 today. I am happy for that.
Thanks.
CFigh
 
If you haven't already, I would recommend seeng a pain management specialist. My experience is similar to yours, and my entire life has turned around since I have been under the care of a specialist. Not only have they done procedures to help eliminate pain, I also had a pump implanted over 5 yrs ago, which has allowed me to decrease the amount of oral narcotics. Hope this helps. I just know how much a difference it has made for me!
 
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