The I'm A Bigger Prick Than You thread

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Winkler

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I am Pete Doherty

I am a bigger prick than you because I read poetry as if it is my own creation, and I look into the cameras with a wide eyed & blank face signifying my inner beauty. I write on my walls with romantic statements to show how I am truly one of the world's modern day poets. I need not learn guitar, because if I did, I wouldn't be as cool. I started off quite well but then hit the media spotlight and produced a second album with my ****ty band that contained lyrics such as the corker 'I never said it was clever/I just like getting leathered.' I am nothing but a commercialised vagrant, yet I seem to think I am the height of English charm. In interviews I leave a 25 second pause between each sentence. Drugs are cool.

Who are you?
 
On the contrare, I am Liam Gallagher.

I once erabodied the spirit of youthful aggression, but after one very good debut I got way in over my head and believed that unless you were doing lines in the back of toilets and sporting ridiculous haircuts then you were boring. Unlike my brother, who can actually play an instrument, I do nothing apart from growl and strut around. And I'm not even very good at that anymore.

Because of my aforementioned lack of musical talent, when my brother does not allow me to provide vocals in our music, I have to sit around in the back bashing a tarabourine like a caveman.

Oh, and also, my band has been in steady decline since our debut, yet I feel it appropriate to call the likes of Radiohead, who have done nothing but improve since they started out, 'boring.' I also called all of their fans ugly even though I wear big sunglasses all of the time to hide my shrew like eyes and distracting monobrow.

I also made it cool for a while for youngsters to pretend they were stupid, even if they weren't. I am clearly 'avin it.




(I'm even going to see them live, but I still think he's a prick.)
 
Hello my name is Bono and I would like you to spend a few moments of your time to listen to the very serious problem of world debt in the third world and Africa. World debt equates to.... OI , LEAVE MY HAT ALONE YOU F*CKING BITCH OR I'LL HAVE A FLEET OF LAWYERS ON YOUR ARSE FASTER THAN A BUNCH OF FLIES AROUND SHIT
 
This interview does a lot to show Bono's mind-nurabing prickness.

Some highlights:

'We were offered $23 million for just the music to 'Where the Streets Have No Name.' We thought we could do a lot of good with that money. Give it away. But if a show is a little off, and there's a hole, that's the one song we can guarantee that God will walk through the room as soon as we play it.'


"Because songs demand to be heard. 'Vertigo,' which you didn't like, is deceptively simple. That riff, you can think, 'Aw yeah, another rock song.' It doesn't become great the first time you hear it. It becomes great the thousandth time you hear it. And that's true of a lot of rock riRAB. So we have to get the density of exposure for that to be a hit."


"There's nothing in U2's catalog that sounRAB remotely like 'Vertigo.' It's completely fresh. 'Vertigo' is actually quite a gem, contrary to what you say, and it's very new."
 
I went through a 'mainstream american rap' day a few days back, and watched an interview with jay-z on the jonathon ross show. Hilarious and intelligent fella. But then I watched an interview with Kanye West and he seems to have a hard time saying anything of note at all... he just babbles on uselessly.
 
Despite that I think the little bitch got a helluva lotta soul and even moreso a helluva sett'ah pipes...

Hello I'm Amy Winehouse. I sing about self-destruction because it's supposedly rather different from the other **** you hear on pop stations. To back it up I let people film me hitting the rock and they put it on youtube so I can gain more off-label fame. I'm cool because my husband has two last names and is incarcerated for drug-posession. Yet I left the courthouse on the arm of Prick Nuraber One, Pete Doherty. I do my hair in a beehive because no one else does it and it's cool, it doesn't look ridiculous at all. I walk around the streets of London coked out my nut in just my bra and jeans so the Pap can snap a few for the tabs. I have early stages of emphysema and it's cool 'cuz I'm still two packs a day & drink like a fish (hit the bottle and go right to the rock). I have tattoos of 1950s pinups because it's cool to be bicurious. My last name has the word wine in it. It's funny because people call me Wino because it's cool to be a celebrity alcoholic.
 
My name is Jimmy Page and I have just appeared at the Olympics because I erabody everything that is Great about Britain. The world is now laughing at Britain once again.....did you know I ripped off a few tracks too? ;)
 
I'm Kurt Cobain.

I had a good thing going before my wife killed me. Just joking... I shot myself. So I learned how to play guitar and write songs with the hopes of one day being recognized and appreciated only to realize when that day finally came I hated it. I loved humans but I hated people... I loved being a father but hated the idea of being there for my child as she grew up. I was responsible for the success of my band... the other two tried to write a song with me but it was annoying. I loved music but I hated what music has become... I was just one big miserable prick and wasted my talent on the hopes of becoming a legend. Now when I hover over the radio and hear my music come on it's stale and old sounding, I wish I would have stuck around to record 5 more albums... then, at least, the rotation of my music wouldn't get so boring. Anyway, I hated myself and I wanted to die... **** off.

-Kurdt

p.s. if you happen to run into Mr. Grohl, punch him for me.
 
Agreed about the Gallagher brothers. I think Liam is an awful frontman he has a pretty good voice but zero stage persence he just stanRAB there with his hanRAB behind his back and leans toward the mic to sing, I mean cmon man do something. And I think he is a bigger prick than Liam all way around. Some of the things that come out of his mouth like 'we're the greatest band ever' but Noel has his fair share too I remeraber him saying something about Thom Yorke for some reason both have something against Radiohead but it was something like 'you can get as experimental and artsy as you want but at the end of the day all people wanna hear is 'creep', get over it.'
 
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