the dad in law tells son what to do and not even bother to ask me? i am his wife?

[Tiger's Mama]

it happened after dinner when dad in law told his son (who is my husband) to sleep at their place cuz did not wanted mom in law to drive him home. My car was full with my infant (baby) and my family from another country who were visiting me. My family was shocked and said that their son (my husband) should at least discuss with me first and ask me if it was okay with me but he didn't. My husband is slow thinker and his dad always has the power and ego to control him. So I told my husband how he should discuss it with me first as i am his wife and i tried to explain to him, then his dad said to me "what is the fuxing problem?" and got mad at me for making big deal about it, so i apologized to him but that's between my husband and I but he refused to hear me out and got pissed that his son had to discuss with me first. Now i'm not comfortable with the dad-in law cuz this is not first time he wants his son to listen to him without discussing with me, it has happened it over and over and over and finally this night i stood up myself & for our baby too. Did i do right?

 

[Mem M]

you should have done it at the beginning of the marriage dear laid down the ground rules your rules not the inlaws should be the ones that your husband should think about.
keep it up or devorce thre in laws

 

[tequila_girl98]

Your father-in-law is a jerk, why couldn't he drive your husband home? Your mother-in-law had to do it?

You did the right thing!

 

[pastorbk]

Stay out of their father and son relationship unless the dad is asking him to do something dangerous or illegal. Be kind, cheerful and take it in stride. You probably have a similar family member that he can't stand to be around either or their ability to influence you, probably your mother.

You both need to set up a rule between you and your husband, that you will both call each other to let the other know about your schedule constraints and when things come up. It is NOT asking permission, it is being curteous and kind to each other and to let each other know if you will be late, or staying at a relative's house.

Your husband is not your child. The more you try to control him, the more he will flee.

Be smart. Be loving, kind and supportive of your husband and make your home such a happy and wonderful place to be, that he will not want to spend hardly anytime at his parents - because you are such an incredible and fantastic wife. That is what will keep him home - not whining and gripping about his wanting to see his mom and dad and making his life miserable.

Learn to like being around his parents, slowly over time. They raised the man that you married and love - they can't be that bad.

So his dad may be an overbearing, butt-head, control-freak but he and his dad obviously have a good relationship. That is sooooo rare to have. Let that relationships be and get over being a controlling person - he is your husband, not your child.

Let it go, and work on being a fabulous, supportive wife, and he won't leave your side!