MaterialGirl3606
New member
Hello All......
(I posted this in a separate category as well, but decided to post here to get advice from fellow soldiers)
My boyfriend of approximately a year is in the Army (He is a 68W Combat Medic) and is in AIT training at Fort Sam (Texas). I, myself, am in the Army but in the reserve and ROTC (simultaneous membership program) and serve/live/attend school in Tampa. When he left for boot camp in early February, our relationship wasn't on the greatest of terms. Back in September when he first enlisted in the Army, he began acting distant and finally broke up with me, stating the the reason was because he joined the Army and it would be better if we ended things now than later on down the road and endure more heartache. I was devastated and hurt, of course. But after a few days, I realized that I had been an outstanding and supportive woman to him and had nothing to regret. At that point, I decided to move to Florida. He broke up with me, but yet he still called/texted/Skyped me like we were still together. After I told him I was moving, he stated that he noticed that I had begun to move on and that he didnt want me to move to FL because there would be distance between us, he made a mistake, and he didn't want to let me go. We eventually reconciled because of this, and because we thought that I was pregnant. After we discovered that I wasn't pregnant (he was there for me the entire time, took me to doctor appointments, checked in, made plans for the future, etc.), we decided to stay together. But as it got closer for him to ship out, he had begun to grow extremely distant. He would still call and text the hell out of me, but he rarely spent time with me. The day I left for boot camp, he didnt make ANY effort to come see me....but the day he left for boot camp, I was there the entire day with him before he left. We had even stopped having sex, which really hurt because we were always very sexual. He claimed it was because of the pregnancy scare and that he didnt want it to happen again (when I told him about it he was throwing up and really stressed out). His sexuality went down the toilet. (Of course I felt very rejected by him)
While he was away at boot camp, I found out that I had an ectopic pregnancy and lost the baby. (I havent been taking it too well). I didnt tell him about it until 2 days ago when he finished boot camp (I didnt want to stress him out anymore than he was.....the Army is no joke). He called once to check on me and asked a million questions. He stated that he was sorry for everything and for not being there emotionally and mentally, he values and appreciates my support for the past year, and that I should trust him.
BUT, that is extremely difficult to do. My boyfriend has a really sweet side, but he also has a really dark side as well. He has said and done alot of things that one shouldnt do to someone they claim to care for, but I try my best to forgive him and to continue to support him. But with the recent loss, added with his neglect and previous actions, it has become really hard to "soldier" on and put on a brave face....I am more hurt than I realized. I've made the mistake of being there for him so much that I neglected myself. I do love him alot, but I am also angry towards him and hurt. So hurt, that I have actually started to fixate in my mind that I am single and starting to picture my life without him.
What should I do?
-Confused Soldier
(I posted this in a separate category as well, but decided to post here to get advice from fellow soldiers)
My boyfriend of approximately a year is in the Army (He is a 68W Combat Medic) and is in AIT training at Fort Sam (Texas). I, myself, am in the Army but in the reserve and ROTC (simultaneous membership program) and serve/live/attend school in Tampa. When he left for boot camp in early February, our relationship wasn't on the greatest of terms. Back in September when he first enlisted in the Army, he began acting distant and finally broke up with me, stating the the reason was because he joined the Army and it would be better if we ended things now than later on down the road and endure more heartache. I was devastated and hurt, of course. But after a few days, I realized that I had been an outstanding and supportive woman to him and had nothing to regret. At that point, I decided to move to Florida. He broke up with me, but yet he still called/texted/Skyped me like we were still together. After I told him I was moving, he stated that he noticed that I had begun to move on and that he didnt want me to move to FL because there would be distance between us, he made a mistake, and he didn't want to let me go. We eventually reconciled because of this, and because we thought that I was pregnant. After we discovered that I wasn't pregnant (he was there for me the entire time, took me to doctor appointments, checked in, made plans for the future, etc.), we decided to stay together. But as it got closer for him to ship out, he had begun to grow extremely distant. He would still call and text the hell out of me, but he rarely spent time with me. The day I left for boot camp, he didnt make ANY effort to come see me....but the day he left for boot camp, I was there the entire day with him before he left. We had even stopped having sex, which really hurt because we were always very sexual. He claimed it was because of the pregnancy scare and that he didnt want it to happen again (when I told him about it he was throwing up and really stressed out). His sexuality went down the toilet. (Of course I felt very rejected by him)
While he was away at boot camp, I found out that I had an ectopic pregnancy and lost the baby. (I havent been taking it too well). I didnt tell him about it until 2 days ago when he finished boot camp (I didnt want to stress him out anymore than he was.....the Army is no joke). He called once to check on me and asked a million questions. He stated that he was sorry for everything and for not being there emotionally and mentally, he values and appreciates my support for the past year, and that I should trust him.
BUT, that is extremely difficult to do. My boyfriend has a really sweet side, but he also has a really dark side as well. He has said and done alot of things that one shouldnt do to someone they claim to care for, but I try my best to forgive him and to continue to support him. But with the recent loss, added with his neglect and previous actions, it has become really hard to "soldier" on and put on a brave face....I am more hurt than I realized. I've made the mistake of being there for him so much that I neglected myself. I do love him alot, but I am also angry towards him and hurt. So hurt, that I have actually started to fixate in my mind that I am single and starting to picture my life without him.
What should I do?
-Confused Soldier