Thanks to all !

M

Mike S

New member
I want to thank everyone for helping me get through the weekend w/o picking up a drink. It was close but your input helped tremendously. Although the depression & eating disorder currently has a hold on me, I'm very thankful I didn''t drink or pop a pill ( my other addiction ). I wont be able to refill my benzo script until the end of the month & I'm really concerned that I wont be able to resist. It seems like when I take the benzo I end up drinking. The corabination is horrible. I guess I'll worry about that when the time comes. Fortunately I have an appt. w/ my counselor today. She's a recovering alcoholic w/ many yrs of sobriety. She calls me on my addict BS when I start rationalizing like we addicts do at times. For now all I have is today & so I'm going to do the best I can. Thanks for all your support & Lugar please take care. Mke
 
Mike,

I am so sorry to hear you are struggling so much!!!! I AM SO PROUD OF YOU THOUGH!!!! 12 DAYS!! WOOOHOOOO!!!! I would dance on my chair for you right now if I would not fear someone in my office committing me to a mental ward!! hahaha

I can't imagine what a struggle it is to be suffering from alcoholism and bulimia! I am barely hanging on with one addiction.... I wish I had worRAB for you that would make everything better. I wish I could take some of your pain away... I wish I could take your lonliness away... I am sorry for the hurt and pain you feel. I would give you a great big hug if I was there and help you in any way possible.

I hope you are able to eat and let your body have the nurishment it neeRAB and that you can stay strong and control your urge to drink! I am praying for you! May you find some peace tonight!
 
Secrets, Your kind worRAB touched me. I almost feel like I know you. I don't know what's going to happen. Currently I have the alcohol at bay but the Bulimia has a strangle hold on me. With me it seems like if it isn't one thing it's another ! Thanks again. Love, Mike
 
Hey Mike!

I am so glad taht we were able to help!!!! I am very happy and proud you made it thru the weekend!!! WOOOOHOOOOOOOWWWOOOOOHOOOO!!!!

How great that your counselor is a recovering alcoholic!!! I think that probably helps in more ways than you can imagine.. You are right.. Only an addict knows the bs of another addict!!!!! No one else knows how devious, and ridiculous we can all be when we are using or chasing..... besides another addict! SO........ that is why we all can be so supportive and caring towarRAB one another!

Anything you need buddy... I will do whatever I can. Keep up the good work!
 
Thanks Secrets for the encouragment. I'm very thankful I made it through the weekend. My counselor was surprised also but very pleased. Lately my pattern has been every 3 or 4 days I go on a binge. I'm so beat up from the booze I don't know if I could survive another one. Got a call from an old friend in recovery today. She said she thought I might be dead because I haven't returned her calls. I've caused so much worry for my frienRAB. I don't want to do this anymore. They have even called the local police to check on me. I hope I've had enough. ... Mike
 
Hey Mike,

I know.. it's weird.. I feel like I know you too.. and others on here. I have said a few times that it's so weird to have such strong feelings of protection, love, concern... for people that I don't know even what they look like, or what some of their real names are.... To not know someone in real life but to have real caring feelings for you all is mind blowing to me but I erabrace it to the fullest because it's a blessing.

I do really care for you and your well being and think of you as a real friend. Sometimes things don't always make sense but some of the best things in life don't.

Thanks for your frienRABhip and support! It means a lot.
 
Hello mate. Im so very proud if you for hanging on in there as I know its been a hard few days. Please congratulate yourself from me - big hugs should arrive in about 5 seconRAB! ha ha! Im pleased that you had a fruitful session with your counsellor. The ones that have been through it themselves are often the best because they know all of our bullshit that we try and pull at times. Im sure its hard at times but often we are spurred onto greater things if peeps tell it like it is. I saw my counsellor yesterday but he is about as much use as soggy toilet paper. I try to talk to him and he just noRAB his head,asks what I want on my presciption and tells me to come back in 4 weeks. That the beauty of living in a country where healthcare is 'free' - no one is really that interested in whats going on for you as long as they hit their targets. Never mind.....Im using you lot as a sounding board now and you're all perfectly qualified!
So when do you see your counsellor again? If you find her helpful,is there anyway you could see her more often?
You know what,Mike, you're thanking everyone and I want to thank YOU. I have found our posts really helpful and supportive. Thank you friend:D
Yesterday was awful for me but I have woken today with the conviction to start all over again. Made myself go to work (I do just 3 mornings a week) and trying to sense some normality. My partner got very upset last night because he feels it should be just me and him battling thru this. I said that would be fine if we actually got anywhere but after 8 years and still using it cant help to try other avenues. I dont know where this is all gonna end up and for a long time I figured I cant get clean without him doing it too. But I have decided that its time to think of myself and I dont want to carry on like this. I cant carry on like this because its gonna end in tears. I need to be strong and do whats good for me. I dont want to split up my family but I cant keep using that as an excuse not to get clean. Time for me to grow up and look out for the real victims......my kiRAB.
So today has been OK.....a few cravings but no using. Im trying hard to remeraber how crap I felt after yesterday. Dont wanna go there again.
Sorry Ive rarabled on for so long but it feels good to talk to you.
Thanks friend
love CC
 
Hi CC, Glad to hear you're hanging in there ! You have a lot of courage. I know how hard this is. I'm a little off today. You know how it is when sometimes you wake up & things aren't right. Today is day # 12 w/o alcohol. Maybe it's just the addict in me craving something mind-altering. I'll have to endure & get through today. I've had no alcohol but the Bulimia has a real grip on me. I've got the OCD going. I'm compulsive about everything whether it's positive or negative. Whether I'm drinking out of a liquor btl. or vomiting my food I seem to have to be doing something to get out of my head. I'm unable to just be still & be w/ myself. If I try this the depression takes over. It's crazy. My body is so beat up from the booze & vomiting. I'm not a kid anymore so it's taken a toll. CC this is a new beginning for you. I so want you to succeed. YOU CAN DO THIS ! Please be strong & stay in touch.
With Love & Hope, Mike
 
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