Texas Hold'em: help with kickers?

Can some one please explain how kickers work in texas hold'em.

because i was playing online texas hold'em and i had triple 9's while another person had pair of Ace's and a 10 kicker. For some reason the person with the kicker and pair aces took 4/5ths of the pot, while i only got about a 1/5th of the total pot.

thanks for your help
what i've found out so far is that kickers are only effective if players have the same hand or similar hand.
In my case the hands were not similar, and thus by my understanding the kicker should have no effect at all and thus i should have won the pot, with my triple 9's.
thanks so far, but i already know, how a kicker helps if both players have similar hands.

but in my circumstance, how does a pair of aces and a 10 kicker, beat triple 9's? shouldn't a triple beat any pair regardless if they have a kicker or not?
what i've found out so far is that kickers are only effective if players have the same hand or similar hand.
In my case the hands were not similar, and thus by my understanding the kicker should have no effect at all and thus i should have won the pot, with my triple 9's.
 
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