Tell me what you think about my new poem?

[R.I.P. Hip Hop 1978-2003]

Heart pushes tons
Sweat becomes bullets
Pulses are guns
Eyes move around
Without permission
Eye contact becomes avoided
Causing delusion
Leaving the theory of life
With mental confusion
Suicide knocks on your mind
Wisdom becomes blind
Light seems so far away
Thinking today
Is just another cloudy day
Negativity
Smokes up the fire of positivity
Capabilities are denied
Tucked in the bed
Hoping you die
Closing your eyes
Only to open them up
Knowing that God
Won’t allow you to die
So you scream out why
As the pressure gets heavy
Life becomes a race
And it doesn’t seem steady
Waiting on that day
For kingdom to come
Running from life
But there’s nowhere to run

 

[whaaaaaaaaat!]

i like it !
but it could be improved, like how some lines rhyme and others dont

 

[whaaaaaaaaat!]

i like it !
but it could be improved, like how some lines rhyme and others dont