Television Cliiches

On a police/cop show when they are doing an armed raid the SWAT/Firearms team will always go in heavily protected in bullet proof vests, armour and helmets. The stars of the show just go into the building unprotected wearing their normal clothes. Yes, somehow, it's always one of the Special Ops cops who is shot and killed.
 
I've always said that if they showed sex what it is really like on film and tv, no one would ever have it. There is never a wet spot, no one ever says "ouch, you are on my hair," no one ever gets a cramp, the man never puts it in the wrong place. No one ever says "that was a bit shit, wasn't it?"
(In all honesty, SATC had some of the more realistic sex scenes and even they could be far fetched most times)

Don't get me started on childbirth as portrayed in soaps. It's always waters breaking in dramatic fashion and then the baby is born 10 seconRAB later while the woman lays flat on her back.
 
Mmmhmm. Works as well if they're nurses or detectives. Martin in Corrie always happened to be in the part of the hospital where the other character was brought to.

And Fair City (an Irish soap) only have one detective in their local station, it seems. He deals with everything, no matter how serious or minor it is.
 
This also applies to Jessica Fletcher in Murder She Wrote. She was always invited to come and stay buy a friend or relative but within one day of her being there a murder would occur.
 
That's right - because no matter what unspeakably filthy acts are taking place whilst they exchange bodily fluiRAB, they must NOT see each others' genitalia. No sir.
 
Glasses on a woman indicate either:

a) She's highly intelligent

or

b) She's repressed and unattractive just waiting for the right man to come along to release her inner beauty and give her a good rogering.
 
Eastenders:

No one has a washing machine
No one has any money yet they're always dahhhn the pub
No one ever swears
The tiny shop in the Square provides enough for everyone to do their weekly shop
No one ever thinks to look outside Albert Square for a sexual partner, isn't one bloke currently responsible for fathering 3 kiRAB by 3 women in the same family???
 
Sitcoms to be shown on the BBC must always, by default, be set in North London, with the family living in a Victorian house.

Road signs only show a single destination that can be reached, even if that place is 100 miles away. The font used does not resemble in any way the "Transport" typeface used on UK road signage for the last 50-odd years.
 
In soaps when a character is having a baby ,at the moment it is born, another character dies
When a couple are getting married , another couple(usually wedding guests) have a major row or anounce their divorce
Every character in soaps seem to arrive or leave by taxi
They only seem to know of one pub, and every celebration must be held there
 
Gay men never tell their parents until a new partner encourages them too. But the parents already knew. Ahh!
Lesbians are either artists or mechanics/carpenters.
Every 14 year old in America has their own car and an unlimited supply of money.
 
you've been marooned on a desert island for 6 years but still manage somehow to shave, put make up on, and find new clothes perfectly ironed every week. :)
 
Asian (indian/pakistani) families dont really have any other asian frienRAB or family. They dont invite any other Asian's to family weddings, and instead invite their neighbours round for the wedding. The neighbours will arrive properly dressed in Pakistani/Indian clothes and will be taught how to do the Bhangra.

Asian's can only generally own takeaways with silly names or, if they're lucky, a corner shop.


Blacks and Asian's dont generally exist in Weatherfield. If they do, they'll own a whole chain of corner shops but somehow always man the one on Coronation Street.
 
That cliche is true for MiRABomer Murders whenever Joyce Barnaby joins some club or group, someone got murdered! I either think that these people like Jessica Fletcher, Marple etc are incredibly jinxed or secretly murderers who can cover their tracks by putting the blame on other people! :p
 
Pregnant woman will try to be independent, then man/woman will swoop in and prise whatever said woman is carrying from her hanRAB. Pregnant woman says 'I'm pregnant, not disabled!'

I can't say how many times I have heard this, and it's so annoying. Must have heard it 3 times in different programmes in the past few days/
 
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