Actually, nothing says "mindless douche bag" like a snake in her locker.
I mean COME ON. Are you trying for the award for the most retarded suggestion ever made? That's just fucking stupid. Shit, if you took all of the stupid shit in the world, put it in a giant blender, hit the button and then mixed all that shit, poured it on the ground to fertilize the stupid tree, took the fruit from the stupid tree, fed it to an entire population and founded the stupid country, which then imported all of the stupid ideas from everywhere in the world, knitted a giant stupid sweater, put that on a giant stupid poodle and then the stupid populatio of the stupid country tried to ride that stupid poodle with the stupid sweater across the English Channel, your "snake in a locker" comment would STILL be stupider.