Well, using her language. She may not call it bitching or shit-talking. it could be just talking as far as she's concerned. It doesnt' matter the name of it, she stil should not be doing it. She needs to give you at least the respect of keeping the relationship between you between you and not discuss it over tea and crumpets with her "lady-friends." If you are not there to discuss it with her, then it's no one else's business what goes on between you both. if she's got something to say about you, it shoudl go to you first and not with anyone else. It's really that simple!