Struggling

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mesty

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Hi guys.

I'm 21 years old. Basically, I suffered from anxiety/panic attacks when I was 13 years old. I missed a whole year of school during this and had a home tutor. I suffered with Agrophobia which would lead to full blown panic attacks, this was all because of a fear of dieing. If i felt a small sensation like a pain or a slight dizzy spell it would lead to a panic attack. I went to a psychologist about 4-5 times and eventually I got better and my anxiety vanished.

Recently I've been suffering from anxiety. I've not had a panic attack since I was 13, this is because I know how to deal with them due to my previous experience with panic attacks. My anxiety recently started again because I've been having dizzy spells. I haven't driven a car for a month because of this and my job is suffering at the moment because I need to drive. I went to the doctors about this thinking there was something wrong with me, you know a brain tumour or something (typical anxiety belief). The doctor refered me to a neurologist and I had an MRI scan, had the results back yesterday and there is nothing wrong. I thought these results would end my anxiety but it's simply made it worse. My relationship with my girlfriend is also suffering, I don't like doing things I used to enjoy like going down the pub with mates, visiting family, going for walks with my girlfriend etc. I see all these things as a chore, I would happily just stay at home. The may concern for my girlfriend is the amount of alcohol I've been consuming, she bought a bottle of vodka the other day and I drank most of it over a few days. I feel like I need to drink whenever we go out and do something, not because "i need a drink", it's just one of the most effective ways to relieve my anxiety. Ironically, the next day if I have a hangover my anxiety is 10fold. Now the anxiety in its self is something I can deal with but I've recently been experiencing what I believe to be Depersonalization and Derealization, It's pretty scary and confusing. The feeling of nothing is real, it's not a delusion, I know everything is real, It's just a feeling. Sometimes when I speak it feels as though it's not me talking again it's not a delusion it's just a weird feeling like I'm not attached 100% to reality. It's hard to describe but I know a lot of people here can relate to what I'm talking about. I wouldn't dare tell anyone else this as they would instantly think I'm insane. Now my fear is that I'm going insane or developing schizophrenia. Now the reason I'm posting this is because I just need to talk to someone. I'm seing a psychologist soon but I'm just worried they are going to think I'm nuts. I feel really down at the moment and I'm constantly tired and can't concentrate. I dread getting out of bed in the morning and I'm just so miserable and not a very fun person to be around at the moment.

One thing I've recently noticed looking back at the last 2-3 years is I've always been an anxious person, the one thing that's kept me going is alcohol. Anxiety has become second nature to me.

Can anyone relate to any of this? I just want to know if there is any light at the end of the tunnel, I feel as if this will never go away.

Also I've just recently purchased the Linden Method, anyone had any success with this? I would give ANYTHING to get rid of this.
 
I have to say I also tried the alcohol in the past and it does work but is not the most healthy option. I believe your upcoming doctor visit will be eventful as there are medications out there that can help you. Hell, people take medication for blood pressure, cholesterol, etc. So if they are out there and they have them for panic attacks and anxiety, TAKE THEM. I take Xanax and it works like a charm.

I have had a few bad bouts of panic attacks these past few months. I would get lightheaded, hanRAB sweating. One time my blood pressure was up to 190/115 and my pulse was at 120. Took a Xanax and 20 min later back to normal. I think something else played a part to that particular instance also. I didnt eat anything all day and I drank alcohol. The alcohol could have dehydrated me and then got dizzy and them on came the "Oh No" panic attack. I would seek out some meRAB from your upcoming doctor visit to get headed in the right direction.
 
Thanks for your reply. I'm not 100% sure if medication is the right choice although it would be a better alternative to alcohol but I've heard a few horror stories of people having a bad withdrawl time when stopping the medication. I know Xanax will help the anxiety but my main issue is the DP/DR, will the meRAB help at all with this?
 
It is possible Xanax may help with that. If that particular medicine does not work there is something out there that will. Alcohol is just ruining your liver and is not the best solution. Can you define your DP/DR exactly what those are for you! What do they make you feel like?
 
It's a very strange "feeling". Basically sometimes life just doesn't feel real, things seem unfimiliar to me. Sometimes when I see my family I feel like they're strangers, I say "feel", it's just a strange feeling. Like I said above, I just feel slightly detached from reality, things seem a bit dream like at times. The thing is, my anxiety is fueling DP/DR, DP/DR is fueling my anxiety, stuck in a vicious circle. In that sense maybe taking medication short term could help break the cycle. When I was younger I would only get this DP/DR feeling during panic attacks. I think I'm suffering from GAD, I don't get panic attacks, I'm just constantly anxious. I've just had a few drinks and I feel a lot better almost feel normal.

Do you get many if any side effects from Xanax? Are you worried about coming off it?
 
No side effects and if you take enough its like being drunk. Some people call this a short term medication but my doctor said he has patients that has been on Xanax for over 18 years. It works and will continue to work. Just change your dosage time, milligrams, etc and it should always work. I have had the most luck with Xanax. I tried Valium and it did so, so. But some people its either or. I have been on Xanax off and on for about 4 years. I dont take it everyday because when my anxiety starts to reside I taper off. I have a little pill container and carry it everywhere. Just knowing I have that with me for the most controls my anxiety.
 
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