Strange conversations at work.

K

King Impossible

New member
One of the plus points of the last few days has been the way that this last week in our current roles has been unsupervised and not a great deal of work has actually been done. It will be a pleasure to handover to the other centre up the line with an almighty backlog for their traitor of a manager to cope with.

Hence some very odd conversations have been overheard, which I may or may not have been involved in.

1. Discussion on whether you can get pregnant through butt-sex. One girl reasoned that the "semen could slip out of your whoopsie and into your vagina".

2. Whether eating enough fruits would make your junk taste of Guava, deeming you therefore a considerate lover. I reasoned that if someone was approaching a vagina with intent to make face to vaginal contact, they should expect it to taste like vagina, not forest fruits.

3. After getting tummy barged in the side of the head by one of the two pregnant girls in the workplace. One girl exclaimed loudly. "Oh Man! Now I'm pregnant in the ear".

4. Discussion on how long sperm can live outside the body. One girl thought it could live for several days, which is why she always changed her sheets straight after sex as a sort of obsessive compulsive contraceptive method.

5. Discussion on whether sperm try to fertilise your eyeball if you somehow receive semen to the eyes.


In hindsite, I'm not all that surprised at the restructuring. :lol::lol:
 
Perhaps the best was the girl who rang the vets as she suspected her cat had a urinary infection. She described all the symptoms, like the cat digging around the carpet, squatting in the litter tray mewing in distress etc. When she had finished, the patient lady at the other end said sympathetically that she was very sorry to hear the cat wasn't feeling well but that they didn't treat cats. My friend was puzzled thinking maybe they had another branch which did and asked this.


But No. She'd rang her own Doctor. The lady on the other end was apparently in fits of howling laughter. As was I.
 
Snee said:
:blink: Jeebus.

"whoopsie" is a fun word.
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This is the same girl who when told the joke "What do you call a Penguin in the desert? Lost." looked blankly at the teller. Half an hour later we heard this little voice...

"Oh yeh. Penguins don't live in the desert."

:unsure:
 
CrabGirl said:
One of the plus points of the last few days has been the way that this last week in our current roles has been unsupervised and not a great deal of work has actually been done. It will be a pleasure to handover to the other centre up the line with an almighty backlog for their traitor of a manager to cope with.

Hence some very odd conversations have been overheard, which I may or may not have been involved in.

1. Discussion on whether you can get pregnant through butt-sex. One girl reasoned that the "semen could slip out of your whoopsie and into your vagina".

2. Whether eating enough fruits would make your junk taste of Guava, deeming you therefore a considerate lover. I reasoned that if someone was approaching a vagina with intent to make face to vaginal contact, they should expect it to taste like vagina, not forest fruits.

3. After getting tummy barged in the side of the head by one of the two pregnant girls in the workplace. One girl exclaimed loudly. "Oh Man! Now I'm pregnant in the ear".

4. Discussion on how long sperm can live outside the body. One girl thought it could live for several days, which is why she always changed her sheets straight after sex as a sort of obsessive compulsive contraceptive method.

4. Discussion on whether sperm try to fertilise your eyeball if you somehow receive semen to the eyes.


In hindsite, I'm not all that surprised at the restructuring. :lol::lol:
Click to expand...

:glag::earl

The human spirit > *.*
 
CrabGirl said:
Perhaps the best was the girl who rang the vets as she suspected her cat had a urinary infection. She described all the symptoms, like the cat digging around the carpet, squatting in the litter tray mewing in distress etc. When she had finished, the patient lady at the other end said sympathetically that she was very sorry to hear the cat wasn't feeling well but that they didn't treat cats. My friend was puzzled thinking maybe they had another branch which did and asked this.


But No. She'd rang her own Doctor. The lady on the other end was apparently in fits of howling laughter. As was I.
Click to expand...

Catist
 
Snee said:
:unsure: :blink: lulz.

One wonders about your company's recruitment-policies, like :unsure:
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This particular girl is odd. She's as dappy as you like about common sense things but excellent with some of the more complex systems we use. That's blondes for you. :pinch:

Anyhow. Off to bed now. Night chaps.
 
CrabGirl said:
One of the plus points of the last few days has been the way that this last week in our current roles has been unsupervised and not a great deal of work has actually been done. It will be a pleasure to handover to the other centre up the line with an almighty backlog for their traitor of a manager to cope with.

Hence some very odd conversations have been overheard, which I may or may not have been involved in.

1. Discussion on whether you can get pregnant through butt-sex. One girl reasoned that the "semen could slip out of your whoopsie and into your vagina".

2. Whether eating enough fruits would make your junk taste of Guava, deeming you therefore a considerate lover. I reasoned that if someone was approaching a vagina with intent to make face to vaginal contact, they should expect it to taste like vagina, not forest fruits.

3. After getting tummy barged in the side of the head by one of the two pregnant girls in the workplace. One girl exclaimed loudly. "Oh Man! Now I'm pregnant in the ear".

4. Discussion on how long sperm can live outside the body. One girl thought it could live for several days, which is why she always changed her sheets straight after sex as a sort of obsessive compulsive contraceptive method.

4. Discussion on whether sperm try to fertilise your eyeball if you somehow receive semen to the eyes.


In hindsite, I'm not all that surprised at the restructuring. :lol::lol:
Click to expand...

Did you know you had two number 4's :blink:

I like the number 1 girl best :happy:
 
I have some hilarious friends. One of the best, most beautiful, kindest girls I know is a fecking ditz. She sat on her glasses in the car just before her first driving lesson and broke the arms off. She said to the driver, "hold on, I'll go get my spare pair", ran back into the house to frantically look for them. When they didn't appear and with the driving instructor getting impatient, she rather unfortunately spots a large roll of gaffer tape sitting on the side.

Rather than stick the arms back on her glasses she winds the gaffer tape around her head and sticks the broken glasses to her face, looking not unlike some speccy ninja.

She had five lessons like that.
 
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