God:
IM GOING TO CREATE MAN AND WOMEN WHO WILL EAT A FRUIT WHICH I PLACE IN FRONT OF THEM AND MAKE A TALKING SNAKE TO CONVINCE THEM TO EAT AFTER I TELL THEM NOT TO SO I CAN CONDEMN THEM FOR IT. THEN AFTER YEARS AND YEARS OF GENOCIDE AT MY COMMAND I WILL IMPREGNATE A VIRGIN WITH MYSELF AS A CHILD, SO THAT I CAN BE BORN. ONCE ALIVE, I WILL KILL MYSELF AS A SACRIFICE TO MYSELF TO SAVE YOU FROM THE SIN I ORIGINALLY CONDEMNED YOU TO!
TU-DUH!!
