Spiritually speaking, I am finding myself in a dilemma and need help and

G

Gaige Stuart

New member
guidance from ALL of you? My mother is a control freak and lives in Europe.to give you intimate details would take pages but here is some of that. she visited me with my Dad in October where she met the man I am gonna marry next month and visited my son and myself. she is a severe control freak and being a single child she always thought she can make me do things the way she wants things done and when she doesn't get that then she breaks up contact and is never heard off again. she has done this with my dads family and her own Family.She does not like what I do for a living because i work night shift (health care provider) she does not like the country I live in(USA) , she does not like my future husband(too educated and smart to follow her lead) anyhow...she abruptly left 2 days early from my house stayed at a hotel told me to have a good life and never talked to me again.I receive Packages from time to time for birthday, christmas and so on but they only have my dads name on them.it now is mothers day and I was going to FTD some Flowers to her but am not sure If I should ...or maybe even call her? not sure if I want to get dissed again. My mom thinks that everything has to be her way, no one has the right to rebel against her ,you may not disagree...she tried to make up for lost times when I was a little girl(4-9) and stuffed into a foster home(long story of 2 adults not wanting to be parents or grown up)ANYHOW! I could write a book and keep make you angry, sad and happy to say the least.So now my mother doesn't call, write, talk or anything at all. Should I be calling her and sending her flowers or what do you think?

this is heavy on my heart ,I have never in my life done something like that to anyone....I believe in live and let live and forgiveness is a must. I didn't do anything to her other then put my foot down regarding my private choices in life and that was the end.

anything you could recommend share or help me solve?
 
My aunt is the same way. Just yesterday she told me she'll never speak to me again (it was over nothing). I don't know about some people. Little things can set them off. It's definitely hard to get along with them.
I decided not to depend on my aunt for anything, especially emotionally.

No, I don'[t think you should send your mom flowers or card, etc. You can't do more than love her when she comes back into your life. It's time that she stops ruling you by making you feel bad.
 
Send the flowers anyway. If there's going to be a continuing schism, you'll sleep better knowing you are not part of the problem. And maybe she'll eventually realize that her misplaced anger is not worth losing her child over.
 
Your mom is definitely a heavy burden. If you are a Christian, do keep her in your prayers, as she is surely not a _happy_ person. She needs to grow spiritually. Until she does, socializing with her is going to be nothing but misery for you. Be gracious, send the flowers. Send a card. But as to dealing with her in person...why? We can hope and pray that time will change her view. Until then, she is only going to dump more misery on you. Actually, the loss is hers. If she can't appreciate having a daughter who cares about her, she is indeed in sad shape. But no need to torture yourself trying to have a relationship with her. Just send the flowers, the card, to show her you care. But try not to get involved with her in person. Let us hope God will show her a better way.

Good luck and God bless.
 
I would send her the usual Mothers Day stuff , Birthday. Christmas etc.

that's all you can do..keep her informed on her grandchild's progress..through letters..and keep her in your heart......that's all.

I know it's hard..but you and your little family is what is important now... be everything you can be...and be proud of yourself and what you have achieved.;-)
 
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