'Spirit of the Bells" Is that a decent title for this?

A

Aquarius35

New member
A beautiful poem.
I can hear the sound of the windchimes, and the emotional journey is precisely crafted and paced.
Perhaps the final couplet needs a perfect rhyme to make it work even better?
Overall, an impressive use of language.
 
My windchimes make melodies from under the eaves;
every bell plays its tune for a lost child.
The forces of nature are strange, free and wild;
they are drawn to my essence as one who still grieves.
I wear my mourning garb day after day, until night
supplies my shroud as I drift into dream-land,
where my daughter and I make castles in sea-sand
and we watch aqua waves as they crest into white.
Waking is torment after such lovely dreams.
It seems like just yesterday I held her small form
From where ocean meets horizon comes a fell storm;
tears like colossal rains fall down my face in streams.

Please bring her home to me, oh spirit of windchimes;
take me from this stormy place to where the sun shines.
 
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