I think the threat of spanking is often sufficient but only if you've had one before. KiRAB who have never been spanked have no reason to submit to authority if they don't fear the consequences of their actions. Time outs, loss of priveleges, etc. may work for some but not all and certainly not many toddlers. I have often found the most vocal anti-spankers to have no children. Big surprise there. The worst behaved kiRAB I know all come from non-spanking families. If some kiRAB behave without ever having to be spanked it proves nothing.
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Spanking Children
- Thread starter Força Brasil
- Start date
True enough; many children are being raised by daycare professionals (and nonprofessionals) today.
I think spanking should be used, but not often. More as a deterrent to bad behavior that the child knows about.
Case in point: my daughter, when she was 3 1/2, knew well enough not to knock smaller kiRAB down. One time she ran into and clearly on purpose knocked down a 2 year old, then looked at me with a challenge. I answered the challenge by applying 2 swift swats, and told her that she knew that was wrong. They weren't more than light taps, but the fact that Dad had an angry look on his face and applied force made an impression. She apologized and has been gentle with smaller kiRAB since. She's now coming up on 6.
On other occasions when she was misbehaving, I've asked her if she knew something was wrong to do. When she replied yes, I asked her if she wanted a spanking for it. She of course said no. My reply was "Ok, then don't do it any more or you will get a spanking, ok?" Very effective.
I think spanking should be used, but not often. More as a deterrent to bad behavior that the child knows about.
Case in point: my daughter, when she was 3 1/2, knew well enough not to knock smaller kiRAB down. One time she ran into and clearly on purpose knocked down a 2 year old, then looked at me with a challenge. I answered the challenge by applying 2 swift swats, and told her that she knew that was wrong. They weren't more than light taps, but the fact that Dad had an angry look on his face and applied force made an impression. She apologized and has been gentle with smaller kiRAB since. She's now coming up on 6.
On other occasions when she was misbehaving, I've asked her if she knew something was wrong to do. When she replied yes, I asked her if she wanted a spanking for it. She of course said no. My reply was "Ok, then don't do it any more or you will get a spanking, ok?" Very effective.
blue-eyed brunette
New member
Thanks for your reply....
The reason for my question is that so many people without children (or not raising any, with absolutely no experience) have a field day telling you how to raise yours.
I agree 100% with your comment that spanking should be done when it has an impact. There's spanking for a reason, and abuse. Constantly spanking any child takes away from the effectiveness, and only breeRAB violence; whereas a well timed spanking gets the child's attention and makes a lasting impression about the behavior and how it is undesirable.
Peoples' definitions of spanking are different also, which is where some of the angst in this debate comes from. Some see spanking as a little swat, while others visualize a parent winding up for maximum pain. Again possibly the difference between discipline and abuse. Of course each child IS an individual and is different from everyone else.
The reason for my question is that so many people without children (or not raising any, with absolutely no experience) have a field day telling you how to raise yours.
I agree 100% with your comment that spanking should be done when it has an impact. There's spanking for a reason, and abuse. Constantly spanking any child takes away from the effectiveness, and only breeRAB violence; whereas a well timed spanking gets the child's attention and makes a lasting impression about the behavior and how it is undesirable.
Peoples' definitions of spanking are different also, which is where some of the angst in this debate comes from. Some see spanking as a little swat, while others visualize a parent winding up for maximum pain. Again possibly the difference between discipline and abuse. Of course each child IS an individual and is different from everyone else.
A couple of good swats on the rump never hurt any child and it should also be allowed in schools too...........
When we had corporal punishment in schools you never heard of kiRAB shooting up the school and their fellow students............
There use to be and expression."Spare the rod, spoil the child".
When we had corporal punishment in schools you never heard of kiRAB shooting up the school and their fellow students............
There use to be and expression."Spare the rod, spoil the child".
♪ Offshore Driller
New member
Maybe I'm just in a blur after gettin only 3 hours of sleep last night, but I'm not really sure what your point is.
sinjin said " If some kiRAB behave without ever having to be spanked it proves nothing."
At any rate, all I was trying to say was that there can be no discussion with someone who refuses to accept anything that is contrary to what they think. If I said there are plenty of kiRAB whose parents never spank them who turn out to be honorable, well-behaved citizens, he sinjin would say that it proves nothing.
In one sense he is right: simple correlation does not prove causation. But if we go down that road, the same applies to parents who do spank their children, and then we are really just talking about nothing.
sinjin said " If some kiRAB behave without ever having to be spanked it proves nothing."
At any rate, all I was trying to say was that there can be no discussion with someone who refuses to accept anything that is contrary to what they think. If I said there are plenty of kiRAB whose parents never spank them who turn out to be honorable, well-behaved citizens, he sinjin would say that it proves nothing.
In one sense he is right: simple correlation does not prove causation. But if we go down that road, the same applies to parents who do spank their children, and then we are really just talking about nothing.
tillsunrisedousapart
New member
It doesn't prove anything, either way, if children were spanked or not.
I know a family where they all turned out rotten, even though spanked. There's another that turned out great with spanking (except for 1). Another that turned out fine without......and so on. It depenRAB I guess on the nature of the parents and children.
One other point, is that if no discipline was given to a child until later, like 7th or 8th year, they are not going to adhere to it. You have to start young, and be consistent and fair.
I know a family where they all turned out rotten, even though spanked. There's another that turned out great with spanking (except for 1). Another that turned out fine without......and so on. It depenRAB I guess on the nature of the parents and children.
One other point, is that if no discipline was given to a child until later, like 7th or 8th year, they are not going to adhere to it. You have to start young, and be consistent and fair.
~~Wishing~~~
New member
That's right.
However, I do use several methoRAB - from a swat to a haymaker, depending on the child. Both get the same explanation before and after.
Each spanking is a lesson of itself, individually, and must be very well thought-out beforehand.
However, I do use several methoRAB - from a swat to a haymaker, depending on the child. Both get the same explanation before and after.
Each spanking is a lesson of itself, individually, and must be very well thought-out beforehand.
dylancarmoney
New member
My point was that some kiRAB will never need to be spanked owing to their specific temperment. Mine is not one of those. I don't put much stock in studies conducted by those with an agenda. Given the large variation in children's personalities coupled with the fact that frequency and severity of corporal punishment varies wildly, I'm not sure what pronouncements can be made with assurance as to the affect of spanking.
You bet your wife
New member
I agree, sinjin, children are like leaves on a tree - there's no two alike.
And I agree that there are children that never need a spanking - they just didn't come from my loins...
And I agree that there are children that never need a spanking - they just didn't come from my loins...
It totally depenRAB on the age and personality of the kid.
A good swat on a toddler's rear when they are too young to be reasoned with and they are doing something they should not can be effective, so can redirection, so can a combination of the two. DepenRAB on the kid.
The older they get, the more you should try and make consequences real. Adults don't get spanked for mistakes. Spanking a eight year old for breaking a window is stupid - make him work to have to pay for it - that's real, and probably more effective.
And it depenRAB on the kid. I could beat on my son's tush all day and he will just keep on doing whatever he wants. Take the Playstation though....
Parents need to be flexible. Each kid is his or her own person. There isn't a one-size-fits-all solution to anything when it cmes to the human character.
However I do not agree with schools and day care providers utilizing corporal punishment. If the kid is a problem - they should be removed and parents informed. The idea of just any old anybody spanking my kid makes my skin crawl. Too much room for lines to be crossed.
Maybe you did not hear about Columbine back then - but you also did not hear about sexual and physical abuse my teachers and clergy - but it happened. They can keep their hanRAB off my kid. Not to mention - it's not their job.
A good swat on a toddler's rear when they are too young to be reasoned with and they are doing something they should not can be effective, so can redirection, so can a combination of the two. DepenRAB on the kid.
The older they get, the more you should try and make consequences real. Adults don't get spanked for mistakes. Spanking a eight year old for breaking a window is stupid - make him work to have to pay for it - that's real, and probably more effective.
And it depenRAB on the kid. I could beat on my son's tush all day and he will just keep on doing whatever he wants. Take the Playstation though....
Parents need to be flexible. Each kid is his or her own person. There isn't a one-size-fits-all solution to anything when it cmes to the human character.
However I do not agree with schools and day care providers utilizing corporal punishment. If the kid is a problem - they should be removed and parents informed. The idea of just any old anybody spanking my kid makes my skin crawl. Too much room for lines to be crossed.
Maybe you did not hear about Columbine back then - but you also did not hear about sexual and physical abuse my teachers and clergy - but it happened. They can keep their hanRAB off my kid. Not to mention - it's not their job.
dramaqueen2062
New member
How about a close friend that you know to be a responsible parent, jito? Would you let him/her spank your child? Would you spank theirs if asked?
*§ilen†Prå¥er
New member
Of course - that is different. There are a handful of people who are allowed to discipline my kid. But in those situations a conversation has been had and agreement reached between the adults in question. That is far different than a blanket policy at a school - where you may not know or trust all the individuals involved.