Songwriting and Lyrics Promotion Thread: Post your band, get critiques!

K

kgoyal011

New member
Quick idea I got the other day. Let's whore banRAB here and request for lyrical/overall performance comments on them!

I will be in here making critiques and what not (since that's what I'm supposed to do in the end) and some other critical doings will be allowed.

The rules are simple:

In your post, include:

Band name
Genre
Webpage/Myspace/Links to music
Small description
Lyrics

basically that's it

have fun :)
 
Band name: The Longtooth Collective
Genre: Metal/hardcore
Webpage: www.myspace.com/thelongtoothcollective

The song is Seventh Reincarnation, you can download here: http://www.senRABpace.com/file/ihzgl3


You thought I was trying to give some grandiose gesture
As if I’d recognize your things as anything but things

Wanker…
Wanker…
Wanker…

You're not much different than me
No we are not the same…
You’re breaking their legs at the shins
I see your sick ****in’ grins!

Why?!
Why do you?!
Why?!
Why do you?!

Blood stains your tear soaked face
Ashes of bodies taint your embrace
You won’t quit, you won’t let up now

You think they’re cool with it?
Like they’re so delplet-ed that they didn’t know what freedom was

Oh this rings a bell?
Like you’ve never been to hell?
Why are we putting ourselves in-
Why do you push us in and laugh?

And laugh?!
And laugh?
Don’t you feel pain?
Don’t you feel pain?
And laugh?!
And laugh?!
Don’t you also feel pain?

Winding and twirling into a vast hole of nothing

Bound to catch up, bound to find the trail
The sick, the dark, the frail
The dying, the lost, the Braille
The light, the health, the strength, I’m building it all back up
To keep myself on top of it

Mommy, tell me again why we die?
Daddy why do you and mommy lie?

“Stay calm child, you're hysterical
You're asking questions that I'm not fit to answer
Not in this life"

In which life then
In your sixth or your seventh?

When I’m a bird, when I’m a lion, when I’m a whale
Perhaps it'd be more honest to unveil
Our worst secrets
Or maybe I should stay stale
And be the one who’s afraid to share…

Afraid to share?
Are you afraid to share?
Afraid to share?
Are you afraid to share?
Why’s it so hard?!
Why is it so hard?!
Why’s it so hard?!
Why is it so hard?!

Can you deal with the honest answer?
Can you even comprehend what’s going wrong?
God, Allah, Satan and Mickey Mouse
Your best friend and your spouse

Are we even here or is this some rock amongst rocks?

This fear: where does it all come from?!?
Come from?!?
Come from?!
Where does it all come from?!

When will we know?
When will you show your honest feelings?
Is it true in your heart?
What you honestly feel..
What you honestly feel…
 
band: the sunflower maiden
genre: weird, fantasy, comedy, spoken word, folk, smile-a-bit
music: http://www.myspace.com/thesunflowermaiden
description: comedy folk talkie songs about strange things
dont have the lyrics typed too many

song: island land

its like spoken word set to fairly elaborate music/ambience/effects. its not quite music, its not quite just worRAB. its a peculiar amalgamation of both that im really interested in, like 21st century minstrelsy, a genre not explored often today
 
Hey Tojes!


Behold the Harlot ( http://www.myspace.com/beholdtheharlot ) is my band. I would try to classify a genre for us, but too many people are soo picky and annoying about which genre = what. I would say deathcore or something along the lines but who knows. I play the drums, so I don't know or have the lyrics, sorry. But we're just five guys with no money trying to have fun, making the style of music we like. Not too much more than that. Any questions or comments, I'd be glad to address them. Take a listen!


:thumb:
 
Band name: The Longtooth Collective
Genre: Metal/hardcore
Webpage: www.myspace.com/thelongtoothcollective

This is the other song I put vox on. It's called Space and Time Inverted. You can download the file here: http://www.senRABpace.com/file/c24ihk


Acid fried with a butcher’s knife
What a discomfited strife
Try to control someone else’s life

Wave it around in my face
Pace around the room
There’s not even the slightest trace
Your sanity was lost

Space and time \invert/ time and space
Stay awake at night, (alert)
He’ll find you under your… (Bed)

Don’t even like you in town
Your face, getting us all…

Made in the US of A, not what they were hoping for
Obeyed until you didn’t see it worth your time
Find the answers: They were right in front of you

You say “Don’t look me in the eye at all
It makes me feel so small
You’re just another tool I use
Not my friend, it was just a ruse”

You fessed up to it all
Why do you make others feel small?

You demean
An obscenely rude routine

You say, “Drag you to my Hellish realm
To feel seldom…

Happiness…
It’s like it was never there”
Sinking, drowning: father, do you like my hair?
“No son, dinner’s done”

Thought that I was safe
Stumbled synapse waif
Nothing is the same
Truth can’t be contained
When all the lies become your king

Bleeding out my eyes
“Embellish all my lies”
Trying to escape
Pulling all of your own weight
AHHHHHHHHHH!
You are so irate

Add on more and more
Act like this was all in there before

Daytime never shone it’s light on us
Alaska’s coldest whores will ride the bus

When it’s time to leave this station
Mental flex, just concentration

You can’t fix what isn’t latent
And if you thought that this was blatant
 
I'm just new to this forum and would like some feed back on my songs if pos. I really struggle with lyrics and think mine all sound cheesy but a friend told me that a lot of songwriters feel like this. If you get a chance check out my songs at http://www.tonymusic.co.cc cheers guys.
 
Hey I'm just a writer and I would love to hear what you think of my work...
Here is something I'm working on right now

Time is such a tick on the mind just when you want it stop or just slow down it never wants to stand still but time is never on your side when hurts too much to breathe that
 
Spoonful: ReminRAB me of a calmer, down-beat animal collective. I like it. I'd give a larger introspective on the lyrics but... well, no one featured any!

The music is also pretty soft; it's a nice counterpart of the rest going on in the background, gives it a certain ambience. I like it. For a larger introspective maybe the lyrical content should be provided?
 
Hey everyone my band is called Atticus and Ike, we play indie rock.

http://www.myspace.com/atticusandike

this is our home-recorded 4-song demo.

Lyrics:

Phantom Thorns

I am a red-clay ramblin man
god's thunder kissed my hand
her eyes made intercourse look tame
now they're dead and peeking out my picture frame
her clothes used to hand out on the hangers in the hall
now they clothe ghosts and their rhymes rise and fall long and tall

chorus
im moving too fast
spreading way too thin
your thorns are too deep
they're breaking my phantom limbs

yesterday i soared through soiled fielRAB
killing 'Cong and cuttin deals
i gripped a grenade clenched my teeth and howled
get a load of my steely-eyed shrapnel scowl
now the only thing that's steel are the spokes on my wheelchair wheels
i felt my phantom limb reach for a gun
i tell you these gooks are still on the run where i started from
still on the run

on the run on the run on the run again

chorus
 
Our recently bedroom-recorded, self-cooked X-mas song goes very well with the "What are you drinking now" thread :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4Z-shtikB0

We wanted to describe our situation more precisely than former X-mas carols:evil::D

Have fun and help spreading the disease :)

DaZedMan
 
Yes that's exactly what we did!

We recorded a 7 song EP in our Dorm room at our Army AIT with minimal recording equipment or money/professional stuff. But it came out damn good!

The group i'm in is a rap/hiphop/freestyle group. We have the temporary name of Tha Mad Dawgs(Based on where were stationed at for our Army AIT) haha. But that name is only here for us until we find a permanent name that sticks and stanRAB out.

We have 7 tracks up on our myspace right now, And I personally am on 2 of them(My name is Spin-It). So far everyone thinks our tracks are pretty good so I'm hoping people on here will like it!

http://www.myspace.com/corrystationboys

We would LOVE any feedback that you have for us

And if you like us then please add us to myspace and let us know you added us because of this site!

Thanks

-Mike Smith AKA Spin-It
 
haha yes i heard it was some very old D&D game or something

But im only 17 so i wouldnt even have known that :P

I just think for a band the name is really cool =]
 
hey i hope you can check out my friend's songs at:

http://www.myspace.com/aliavery

she has a lot of talent, but is too shy to get herself out there. lemme know what you think of her singing!

thanks!
-jacky
 
Paul Ferland
acoustic/acoustic rock
http://musicallydeclined.blogspot.com
click my user name to the left and click homepage then click my songs.
most of my songs are there. two songs to consider are the top two.
"Stroganoff" (instrumental) and They've got something to tell me"
you have to click on the "My songs" icon

They've got something to tell me: by Paul Ferland

Guitar intro

What if I nullify this one
it looks all twisted and bent
What if I blend it with that one
you think they'll get what I meant

I'm going off on a journey
I'm getting off on the scent
always works better in theory
our sense of spirit is spent

chorus


Did I mention I'm dreaming
yes, I'm lucid and free
I'm in control and I'm flying
letting go is the key


There's people silent and staring
I think they've been here awhile
they've got something to tell me
it's in the look with no smile

in a past that is daunting
lies a message within
in a house and it's hauntings
let the healing begin

guitar and piano break

chorus

it feels so right and I'm drifting
there's someone following me
we're syncronized and we're going
through a strange mystery

I feel departure I'm waking
I guess it comes down to fate
if they've got something to tell me
I guess it'll just have to wait

Chorus
Thanks!
 
i currently have no lyrics to my songs but if you could give them a listen at www.myspace.com/jonahhex1838 and give them a quick once over it would be mightily appreciated! :)
 
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