Something weird that happened in my childhood. Was this my fault?

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Emby

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I have no idea why this has been on my mind lately. I'm 30 and this happened when I was about 7 or 8.

As a child my parents would often take us away for long weekends in the caravan. I can remember one such holiday when I was playing outside and needed to go to the loo so I wandered off to the site toilets. None of the doors had locks, they just closed and stayed shut by some magnetic fixing. I was on the loo when a (middle-aged, male) cleaner pushed open my door. He made some comment about me having used a lot of toilet paper and I can remember him making the comment "Would you do that at home? Would you use so much there? Well, don't do it here." He then told me that he wanted to watch me use the paper properly and he stood in the door and watched me clean myself.

I should have ran away from him but he was a grown up and I felt I had to do as he said. He told me not to "tell mummy or daddy because they'd be cross about all the paper used."

I have no idea what has brought this to mind lately but I can't stop thinking that I was stupid for doing what he said and not running off. Was it my fault? Am I being silly? Is it just a little thing that I shouldn't let upset me?

Thanks in advance. Sorry for lengthy question.
Plus, I can't even remember what I did afterwards. I can remember what he said and even what he looked like but after he watched me I can't remember what I did. I assume I ran off once he'd moved away from blocking the door... It makes me feel dirty.
 
The guy was a sick pervert but in reality you came to no harm so why worry about it?
 
This was defiantly NOT your fault, this was just a sick man trying to get his buzz. You should try to block this out or if that is not possible seek counselling as that is what they are there for, i am glad that he did not do anything else like what happens so much, and something may have just triggered this in your mind. You shouldn't let it upset you but it is always the little things that do, Try to seek help if it persists
 
As an adult you now know it was wrong for him to of even opened the door let alone watch you and that you should of said something at the time which is why your bothered by it, but it was a long time ago, you were very young and you did nothing wrong at the time. Don't let it bother you it's just a memory.
 
You did nothing wrong. There was obviously something wrong with that man, and you were a child.

Have you ever told your parents about this? If it bothers you a lot, you may want to think about talking to a counselor. I think it would upset me as well.
 
If the guy is still around, then look him up and tell him he is a nasty perverted old man.
If wasn't your fault but now that you are older you realize that you should have run away and told your parents.
Forget it. Some people are just plain evil to pick on children.
 
If the guy is still around, then look him up and tell him he is a nasty perverted old man.
If wasn't your fault but now that you are older you realize that you should have run away and told your parents.
Forget it. Some people are just plain evil to pick on children.
 
i like a good long question, i find the longer it is, the less stupid answers you get...
he sounds like a weirdo but dont blame yourself for not saying anything to your folks. like you said, you were a kid and you didn't see anytihng wrong with what he was doing and he was the adult, we are brought up to do as we're told, well i was anyway!
It's not your fault he's a weirdo.
would it have changed anything if you did tell your folks?
 
You were not stupid,you were only a child and your not being silly for remembering the incident and being upset. Be very grateful it did not escalate into anything worse. Something triggered the memory,do you have any idea what made you remember?that may help you deal with it and move on. I had something similar happen to me but it involved touching by a cousin and i didn't acknowledge it until years later...i did deal with it and moved on or else it would have brought me down and wrecked my life...so please don'tdeny your feelings about this but go ahead and work through it and use the knowledge to help others.Good luck hun.
 
of course you did NOTHING wrong he was the adult and you were the child, you were obviously brought up to respect adults as most of us were so you were doing just that. It's easy to look back now and think that you should of done things differently but you were a child and knew no other way to react, you are now an adult and know that it was wrong but it was HIM that was wrong NOT You ok.
Maybe you blocked it when you were growing it up, the mind has a way of blocking certain memories to protect us. As to why you have been thinking about it lately I cannot tell you, maybe you have become a new mother or you have children or nieces of the same age as you were then.
Any way if it bothering you then you should talk to someone to help you deal with the memory and hopefully make you realise that you were the innocent who dod nothing wrong.
try the link below to see if it is of any help to you or talk to your doctor or practice nurse, they will be able to help you find the right help
Good luck
 
no it was the pedos fault for doing it and taking advantage of you when you were young, im not sure how to move it out of your mind but maybe write it down then burn it(might help) or try and find this guy if he is still alive and warn the police?

but i hope you are ok soon :D
 
That guy was a PERV. You could have been wiping with the whole effin role its not HIS business. You should have told your parents, he was a perv!
 
I think you probably already know the guy was probably a pervert- what would your reaction be if this happened to a child you know? Either that or he was a slightly mental individual with some serious hang-ups about toilet paper. Either way, it's not your fault. And you're right to be upset about it- it was wrong and a lot of people might be a bit traumatised!
 
This was not your fault. There are some really creeps out there. I think you should talk to someone and help you get over it. If you have suffered some recent trauma this can bring bad memories back. Hope you get through it (:
 
I think you probably already know the guy was probably a pervert- what would your reaction be if this happened to a child you know? Either that or he was a slightly mental individual with some serious hang-ups about toilet paper. Either way, it's not your fault. And you're right to be upset about it- it was wrong and a lot of people might be a bit traumatised!
 
It was not your fault, you were a child, would you ask someone who'd been molested if it was their fault? No! Because this guy is a perv. And your reaction to what happened was normal. You're probably thinking about it now for a number of reasons. Maybe you're tired of hearing all of the abuse to kids that goes on in this world and you were very close to being abused, if that man had gone one step further. And you think maybe it could have been you. I dont know, i'm not in your life, but that's how i'd rationalise it.
 
It was highly inappropriate of him and, I suspect, he'd done a lot worse. I think now you shouldn't let it upset you if you can. Rest assured it was nothing to do with paper used and count yourself lucky that nothing worse happened to you.

You could try telling your parents now if it makes you feel any better. Please don't worry about it though!
 
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