Well, I normally don't write things like this but I was just in the mood to. It's not finished just yet and it's a first draft, I just wanted to check if I'm on the right track.
As a smile traced his lips, the piercing in the corner of his mouth quivered slightly. His long, jet-black fringe covered one of his eyes, leaving only his right coffee coloured one visible. The way he looked at me, with such intensity made my heart feel like it had stopped beating, like an ice sculpture that would splinter into a million pieces if it ever thumped again. I gulped as his grin disappeared from my view and he dipped his head down to my collarbone, planting small kisses along it. My chest heaved uncontrollably and a jolt of adrenaline rushed through me, stopping when it hit the pit of my stomach. Each time his lips pursed on my skin, it felt like a fire had started underneath the thin sheet and a tingle remained. Once he’d reached the birthmark that sat on my neck, he lightly traced it with his tongue. I had trouble sucking in the necessary amount of air as I felt him continue up to my jaw line. He carried on leaving light pecks; stopping right before any contact was made with my lips. Slowly, his hand came up my neck, his fingers skimming my skin lightly. He stopped when his palm was cupping my cheek and our eyes locked, checking whether this was okay. My head suddenly felt like it weighed ten times more, straining my shoulders as I nodded. With that, his full lips brushed mine, making them part slightly. My eyelashes locked together and I felt his hot breath spread across my mouth. He came back for another quick kiss, which kick started my heart until it was beating erratically in my throat.
I really do appreciate any advice
Thanks all.
~Nicole.xx
As a smile traced his lips, the piercing in the corner of his mouth quivered slightly. His long, jet-black fringe covered one of his eyes, leaving only his right coffee coloured one visible. The way he looked at me, with such intensity made my heart feel like it had stopped beating, like an ice sculpture that would splinter into a million pieces if it ever thumped again. I gulped as his grin disappeared from my view and he dipped his head down to my collarbone, planting small kisses along it. My chest heaved uncontrollably and a jolt of adrenaline rushed through me, stopping when it hit the pit of my stomach. Each time his lips pursed on my skin, it felt like a fire had started underneath the thin sheet and a tingle remained. Once he’d reached the birthmark that sat on my neck, he lightly traced it with his tongue. I had trouble sucking in the necessary amount of air as I felt him continue up to my jaw line. He carried on leaving light pecks; stopping right before any contact was made with my lips. Slowly, his hand came up my neck, his fingers skimming my skin lightly. He stopped when his palm was cupping my cheek and our eyes locked, checking whether this was okay. My head suddenly felt like it weighed ten times more, straining my shoulders as I nodded. With that, his full lips brushed mine, making them part slightly. My eyelashes locked together and I felt his hot breath spread across my mouth. He came back for another quick kiss, which kick started my heart until it was beating erratically in my throat.
I really do appreciate any advice
Thanks all.~Nicole.xx