Some lyrics I wrote

D

Dakotah C

New member
So many nights I've spent there
High above the moon.
Dont ask me why I went I
Will never tell you.

It was the need for more I
Saw my mind was blind.
Who cares what way you search if
Peace is what you find?

I used to lay awake with
Tears filling my eyes.
Waiting for better days to
Come and change my life.

Then one day I realized there's
Nothing I can change.
If all I do is hide then
Everything's in vain.

And another one about college girls:

It was a cool friday night
And I was feeling alright
I was drinking keystone light
When I saw her dressed in white
So I went and said hello
You remind me of the snow
Your blue eyes have got me cold
And at night I sleep alone

She laughed, looked at me and said
You should get used to it then
Tonight you'll be there again
Then she left with her boyfriend
So I found my way back home
Took a rip of white widow
Layed my head on my pillow
Then I fell asleep alone

Then it was Saturday night
Asked my homie for a light
The weed makes me feel alright
While I'm drinking nasty ice
Then some girlie said hello
Told me that I had to know
She forgot her bud at home
And she wanted to get stoned

I laughed, and packed her a bowl
Didn't worry me at all
But before we got too far
She was passed out in the hall
So I found my way back home
Took a rip of white widow
Layed my head on my pillow
And I fell asleep alone.
 
Actually I think they're pretty good. You're just not interested in anything but trying to make someone else feel shitty. I bet none of you could write anything better. And if you do, i'll be the first to admit its better.
 
by lyrics you meant poem right? and by trying to say poem you mean nothing right because you didn't follow a scheme?

basically, you have nothing without music k thx bye.
 
The scheme for the first one is:
7 syllables with the last syllable being the first word of the next line
5 syllables
7
5

The scheme for Isla Vista Girls is just:
7
7
7
7

Which works with my bassline. The chorus will probably be a little different.

I do have a bass line written for each of the songs. The second verse of the first poem is the chorus, and I'm still working on a chorus for the second song. Heres the bass lines:

Isla Vista Girls
----------------------------------
----------------------------------
-0-0-0-0-3-3-5--0-0-3-3-5--3----
----------------------------------

If peace is what you find-
----------------------------------
----------------------------------
-0-5-3-0-6-5-3-0-0-5-3-0-3-5----
----------------------------------

"k thx bye" - I hate when people say that. Fucking retarded.
 
Ahh some input. Thanks. Both of the subjects seemed overused though? I can see how the second one would be so, but the first one I thought was an original idea.
 
Added verse to the first one:

So many nights I've spent there
High above the moon.
Dont ask me why I went I
Will never tell you.

It was the need for more I
Saw my mind was blind.
Who cares what way you search if
Peace is what you find?

I used to lay awake with
Tears filling my eyes.
Waiting for better days to
Come and change my life.

It was the need for more I
Saw my mind was blind.
Who cares what way you search if
Peace is what you find?

Then one day I realized there's
Nothing I can change.
If all I do is hide then
Everything's in vain.

It was the need for more I
Saw my mind was blind.
Who cares what way you search if
Peace is what you find?

Dont dwell on your regrets its
All been said and done.
Try never to forget this
Life is just for fun.
 
it was pretty good, i'm not the biggest fan of writing in the first person, i tend to keep I out of song lyrics but put some nice music to that and you have a winner.
 
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