social isolation

[Masque]

hello everybody,i would appreciate if anyone here could could give me advice or input to help me with my problem. Iam 19 years old,almost 20 and i basically have no frienRAB and havent since i was about 12 years old. when i was younger i had a good social network but when i was in year 7 i was overcome by major deppression and then social anxiety,i could no longer relate and talk to my fienRAB anymore and i lost all of them. I spent the rest of high school completely alone,not having anyone to talk too. since then ive been diagnosed with bipolar depression and borderline personality disorder. i now work and have learnt to get along with some of my co-workers okay, but i spend all my spare time alone and iam scared that i may be alone for the rest of my life. i have serious trouble talking to people,iam always inhibited and have problems maintaining conversation due to my social anxiety. Has anyone got any idea how i can get over my isolation and make frienRAB?

 

[Xen]

finding/making frienRAB is a slow process, for us at least. learning to get along with co-workers is a great start. if they invite you to a causal get to gether by all means force yourself to go even if you are there for 10 minutes. just let the host know you can only swing by for a few.

know thyself. what are you hobbies? what are your interests? finding people with the sames hobbies and interests is not always easy esp if you live in a small town. if you like to read go to the local coffee shop on a consistant basis and read. if you go there three days a week someone will notice you and take interest whether they are employees or other regulars. it will be tough the initial contact with a new person as you know is stressful. after the ice is broken over the course of several days/weeks/months you may be presented with opportunities to hang out with people, good people if you are patient.

they ideal thing is to find others with the same style of social interaction. of course guess what they are doing? they are isolated aswell. it's a rough situation where the best people to make frienRAB with are the hardest to find. it's all about common interests.

risks. if you are a geeky type person and you spy another geeky looking chick or guy eyeing a particular video game you have played, guess what more than likely if you start and concentrate a conversation about the game you might make a friend. "would you like to borrow it". this would set yourself to meeting this person outside on a different ground and will give you a reason to interact and communicate. this is a great start.

I hope I did not break it down to basic my I don't want to condescend at all. simply this is how I view making frienRAB. I isolate myself aswell, too much. for me I don't make frienRAB often or easily. I have coworker frienRAB sure but only one friend outside of that. over the years my bests frienRAB moved to college and married off.

 

[Masque]

thanks for your response xen, it was very helpful,you have given me a lot of good ideas. I suppose taking it slow and building up skills is what i should do,my psych says i should join a youth group or something but i know from experiance in such situations i quickly end up in the background and have my self esteem damaged even more. but i shall see what i can do.thanks again.