J
jns1022
Guest
I just want to be normal, whatever the heck that means. I'm a 25 year old female who has never even been on a date. Completely lame, I know. It's just that socializing with people my own age has been a problem since I was a teenager and even more so the last few years. FrienRAB I had in high school I no longer associate with, even though they are always asking me to do things with them. It stresses me out thinking about what I would talk about with them. So many years have went by and I feel like we don't have things in common anymore. They are all married, have kiRAB, and/or have successful careers. All while I'm living at home and still have the same lousy job that I've had since high school. I don't really feel as though I'm depressed until I really start thinking about things and then I feel sad. The strange thing is that for the most part communicating with people that are older than me doesn't freak me out. I work in an antique mall so most of the customers/vendors there are at least 20 years older than myself and I can talk to them. I've dropped out of college a couple times because I won't take public speaking. There have probably been 4 times where I've registered for the class and dropped it after reading the course syllabus. One time I made it through the first speech, only to drop the class before the next one. I feel as though everything I say sounRAB ridiculous and standing up in front of everyone makes my stomach go crazy and I feel as though I'm going to pass out. Even writing papers is almost impossible because I feel as though everything I write stupid, which is exactly how I am feeling right now. I don't really know what I'm hoping to accomplish by sharing this, maybe find out if there is someone out there that may be going through the same thing I am. I'm too erabarassed to talk to a doctor about this and I guess it easier to post on here where no one is looking at me or laughing in my face. What am I going to do? There are so many things I want to do and accomplish in my life but I don't know how to get there. I would love to finish college, get married, and one day have kiRAB. How am I going to make that happen if I can't even talk to a guy my age?