So what am I doing here, then?
- Thread starter Taks
- Start date
Media Watch
New member
Wow dawg... I got a couple things to say...
I gotta say... not true. Lemme say this... we're out here and we're struggling too. I am in a community with shining citizens out to improve this world, and I'm one of them. We are working together, and it IS working. Maybe you should volunteer at a hospital, kid.
What I mean is,
What can you do dude? You can't just STOP living. You have to do something with yourself. You can do something good, or you can do something shitty. Go out, and at least get started.
There's a lot to figure out but you can cross a bridge when you come to it, you know?
I got a job with my city. I now am a great positive impact on my community, whether they recognize it or not. I am part of the means by which working parents make their ends, and single mothers/fathers especially. If I die right now, helping those people would be worth everything, it's worth that much to help them.
That's how much I want to help. I'm here and I'm ready to do anything to help my fellow metropolitan citizens. How much do you want to help?
Edit: I know you donate and everything... why don't you give yourself some creit?
I gotta say... not true. Lemme say this... we're out here and we're struggling too. I am in a community with shining citizens out to improve this world, and I'm one of them. We are working together, and it IS working. Maybe you should volunteer at a hospital, kid.
What I mean is,
What can you do dude? You can't just STOP living. You have to do something with yourself. You can do something good, or you can do something shitty. Go out, and at least get started.
There's a lot to figure out but you can cross a bridge when you come to it, you know?
I got a job with my city. I now am a great positive impact on my community, whether they recognize it or not. I am part of the means by which working parents make their ends, and single mothers/fathers especially. If I die right now, helping those people would be worth everything, it's worth that much to help them.
That's how much I want to help. I'm here and I'm ready to do anything to help my fellow metropolitan citizens. How much do you want to help?
Edit: I know you donate and everything... why don't you give yourself some creit?
I thought i was the only one who thought like this. A lot of the time i just get so depressed i can't be bothered even doing anything, even necessary stuff like eating and exercising. I mean i can understand what people like sven and spun think but i just can't put myself in that position :S
I suppose i'm being counter-productive here but i can't help the way i feel
I suppose i'm being counter-productive here but i can't help the way i feel
The few of us who care cannot lose hope. We must come together and do all that we can to spread good will, and hope. Trust me, I grew up in near squalor, and I know there are good people. They're the only reason I'm here today rather than getting high, of some other stupid bullshit.
Dray, you can't fix all the world's problems, and until you realize this you will suffer under a tremendous burden of guilt. Now, that is not to say to ignore these problems and go on with your daily life. No, then nothing is fixed.
Find what it is you love to do, and do it in the service of others. If you give, live, and learn with compassion there is no way to describe the amount of good that you can do.
I know this sounds gay, but, follow your heart. If it tells you to join The Peace Corps, awesome. If it tells you to become a teacher, sweet. Do what it is you do best, and take that out into the world. Take that talent to the streets and inspire those around you. It's all you can do.
Hopefully, due to the inspiration caused by a few good men and women, the world will change.
But it won't if you let sadness consume you. You have to foster a kind of sad optimism, and no matter how bad things seem to be you have to go out there and try to make it otherwise.
Yeah, we might just be desperately fighting back the tide, a tide that's bound to win eventually. Even if this were the case, which I hope it is not, you can spend your dying days looking into the eyes of your loved ones and tell them in all earnestly that you did your best to make this a better world for them, and for us.
Stay strong Dray, and remember: It is always darkest just before the dawn.
As far as heaven and hell goes, fuck'em. They're no good to us here on earth.
Dray, you can't fix all the world's problems, and until you realize this you will suffer under a tremendous burden of guilt. Now, that is not to say to ignore these problems and go on with your daily life. No, then nothing is fixed.
Find what it is you love to do, and do it in the service of others. If you give, live, and learn with compassion there is no way to describe the amount of good that you can do.
I know this sounds gay, but, follow your heart. If it tells you to join The Peace Corps, awesome. If it tells you to become a teacher, sweet. Do what it is you do best, and take that out into the world. Take that talent to the streets and inspire those around you. It's all you can do.
Hopefully, due to the inspiration caused by a few good men and women, the world will change.
But it won't if you let sadness consume you. You have to foster a kind of sad optimism, and no matter how bad things seem to be you have to go out there and try to make it otherwise.
Yeah, we might just be desperately fighting back the tide, a tide that's bound to win eventually. Even if this were the case, which I hope it is not, you can spend your dying days looking into the eyes of your loved ones and tell them in all earnestly that you did your best to make this a better world for them, and for us.
Stay strong Dray, and remember: It is always darkest just before the dawn.
As far as heaven and hell goes, fuck'em. They're no good to us here on earth.
Ben Robertson
New member
Mayhaps you are just bored.
Try doing something you have never done before. Eat somewhere new, take a drive down a country road you've never been on, talk to people you've never met, volunteer somewhere you've never been to (like a feed the community place), watch donkey porn, or whatever you can do that isn't the same thing you are always doing.
Or, jerk off a lot more, it seems to work for most of the guys around here.
Feeling out of place, confused, conflicted, bored, stuck, is just a natural part of life. This too shall pass. (I love that line, it works for everything).
Try doing something you have never done before. Eat somewhere new, take a drive down a country road you've never been on, talk to people you've never met, volunteer somewhere you've never been to (like a feed the community place), watch donkey porn, or whatever you can do that isn't the same thing you are always doing.
Or, jerk off a lot more, it seems to work for most of the guys around here.
Feeling out of place, confused, conflicted, bored, stuck, is just a natural part of life. This too shall pass. (I love that line, it works for everything).
Sir-Mix-Alot
New member
Farceur has many great points.
Sometimes you just want to hide under the covers and wait for death to come and take you. But if you do that, you are against what we are here for, to live, learn and love.
You shouldn't seek all wrongs in the world, you should seek the small rights, the things that put a smile to your face and warmth into your heart. Do some real searching of yourself, what are your childhood dreams, what is your passion, what do you love to do. If you don't know, learn what it is, go out explore. That is our nature, we want to learn and find out things.
Sometimes life is hard but then you'll know when the good times come.
:hug2:
Sometimes you just want to hide under the covers and wait for death to come and take you. But if you do that, you are against what we are here for, to live, learn and love.
You shouldn't seek all wrongs in the world, you should seek the small rights, the things that put a smile to your face and warmth into your heart. Do some real searching of yourself, what are your childhood dreams, what is your passion, what do you love to do. If you don't know, learn what it is, go out explore. That is our nature, we want to learn and find out things.
Sometimes life is hard but then you'll know when the good times come.
:hug2:
ღaqυa мaяιneღ
New member
Dray,
Men continue to physically mature until they are 24, whereas mentally complete maturity is not reached until mid-40's.
You are not the only person in this world that feels frustrated about the current situations. You seem to observe alot of things, have you ever gotten envolved with someone else's life/situation. I'm not talking about donating- I'm talking about being there for someone; have you talked to the children with one hand; have you asked what do they dream of and how are they going to make their dreams come true- children are troopers, you may find out something you didn't know. You are not perfect- don't go around judging others. Others are people too with failings.
Your options: give up on the struggle or fight like hell to make it worth while; you haven't met everyone there may be someone pretty damn worthwhile. It's not the destination that's worth the struggle it's the path; the path is where you grow. Life stops when you stop growing (mentally). Good luck with your search- keep it going. There are no right or wrong answers here except to give up.
Men continue to physically mature until they are 24, whereas mentally complete maturity is not reached until mid-40's.
You are not the only person in this world that feels frustrated about the current situations. You seem to observe alot of things, have you ever gotten envolved with someone else's life/situation. I'm not talking about donating- I'm talking about being there for someone; have you talked to the children with one hand; have you asked what do they dream of and how are they going to make their dreams come true- children are troopers, you may find out something you didn't know. You are not perfect- don't go around judging others. Others are people too with failings.
Your options: give up on the struggle or fight like hell to make it worth while; you haven't met everyone there may be someone pretty damn worthwhile. It's not the destination that's worth the struggle it's the path; the path is where you grow. Life stops when you stop growing (mentally). Good luck with your search- keep it going. There are no right or wrong answers here except to give up.
Mars Turrez
New member
You mean never, right?
Wow bro, nice vent. Now, I can't reassure you to much, but hang in there.
Now, let me ask a question. What do you want? Not anything great, make a list of 5 things you want out of life. Make them all goals that are with in reach, but not extreamly important.
I'll share mine. Now, I made this list when I was 10, and this has been with me ever since.
1.) I wanted a nice house.
2.) Wife and 2 kids.
3.) A career fixing airplanes
4.) Nice offroad truck
5.) Fast 70's style car (1970 Chevelle at the time, but leaning twards a 1973 Falcon.)
These are my life goals. This is what I want out of my life. Nothing grand, and some people don't like these goals, but fuck them, this is my life not theres. What are your goals.
And as for the mutilation thing...
click me
Now, let me ask a question. What do you want? Not anything great, make a list of 5 things you want out of life. Make them all goals that are with in reach, but not extreamly important.
I'll share mine. Now, I made this list when I was 10, and this has been with me ever since.
1.) I wanted a nice house.
2.) Wife and 2 kids.
3.) A career fixing airplanes
4.) Nice offroad truck
5.) Fast 70's style car (1970 Chevelle at the time, but leaning twards a 1973 Falcon.)
These are my life goals. This is what I want out of my life. Nothing grand, and some people don't like these goals, but fuck them, this is my life not theres. What are your goals.
And as for the mutilation thing...
click me
Who likes 2 party
New member
But not great enough.
I didn't think I'd need to sit and list everything I've done, but I guess I need to. I do more than donate. Last year I went with a few other students from my school to visit a remedial school that was like a last-chance for high-school dropouts to get a GED. You'd go in there and there were all these (overwhelmingly Hispanic :/ ) kids, some holding small children or massively pregnant, all typing away at computers or studying.
Thought to myself, "Now here's a group that's doing some real good. These people are offering a chance to these kids, and those in here are doing their damnedest to make the most of it. If anyone deserves a real helping hand it's this staff and student body."
After some poking around we noticed two large bookshelves that contained in total maybe a hundred torn paperbacks. A staff member meekly told us that that was the library, that the kids draw from to do English studies and book reports. I was appalled. Right then, it was decided what we'd do. One university-wide book drive later(of which I was almost entirely in charge), and now they have a full range of fiction and nonfiction works to choose from. Some boundlessly generous soul donated a mint-condition encyclopedia set for them.
Here is what it looks like now (second image about halfway down the page). I'm damned proud of the work we did, and of the people who gave books for these kids. What I'm not proud of is my hair in that pic. :happysad:
I know I do good. I have talked a kid out of suicidal thoughts and gave an ear to one prominent member of this forum when they were feeling down.
The problem is that I just feel like for every one person I help there are thousands that I missed. Every teen suicide is one kid I didn't manage to get to. It is probably not rational to think this way but I feel like I COULD help everyone if only I had the means, because I certainly have the will.
That's probably the most helpful response I've gotten.
I do very much wish that I could meet someone in person who has the same thoughts I do. When you talk of that kind of brotherhood it does give me resolve.
Oh, I'm doing that. I'm doing exactly that. I'm taking what I like to do and making it into a career that would let me see the physical, tangible result of putting away bad guys. That's what I mean by my opening paragraph. I know damned well that all of you are right--but at the same time I keep wondering HOW I can be content with just that.
Trust me, I have never been immobilized by my negative feelings.
Perhaps I should have been more clear.
You might be interested in another story I am writing.
It's strange that you should say that because this is actually a time of great change for me, lots of new things are happening at once. I am learning skills in areas I didn't know existed two months ago and firms are already vying for my attention.
Again, I was probably being really, really overdramatic. I am genuinely optimistic and excited about the way my own life is heading. I am active in improving the lives of people who can't do it for themselves.
This constant, nagging bad feeling that always sits in the back of my brain finally got to me and I had to bring it to the forefront and throw it out there for everybody.
While I'm spilling my guts out to everyone I'm gonna go ahead and admit to two or three times a day. :redface:
So with time the contentment will just come on its own and I'll be able to allow the world to keep going on as it is with no moral qualms whatsoever? :thumbsdn:
I don't mind a hard life. I love to put in an honest day's work and get results. Toil is one thing--that's fine with me. Tragedy and suffering--those are what I have issues with.
I have posted a few times about a friend of mine who lost his leg while we were in high school together. He's where I get my angst about this amputation stuff, I guess. He's doing fine, but he loved soccer and football and now he can't do them anymore. He was good, might have gotten some athletic scholarship money, but that could just kiss his ass goodbye. I heard him rant about that a few times.
Military brat. I know lots of amputees. They're some of the most hardworking and optimistic people I know but the depression and the frustration and the "why me?" is palpable as these people cannot do things in a world where your worth is judged by your ability to physically affect things around you.
Once again, sorry I didn't write my whole life.
I assume that you are talking about my rant against people who hurt others. I've seen that too. A guy I know from high school was a friendly acquaintance of mine, until he diddled with a seven-year-old. Now that he is a registered sex offender I won't talk to him for fear of how angry I might get. It's easy for me to dehumanize people based on actions that atrocious.
Yeah, that whole "giving up" thing ain't happening.
I can do that.
1. Throw a charity concert for a local children's hospital
2. Expert marksmanship badges in handgun, shotgun, rifle, and archery
3. Become a licensed pilot
4. Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belt (I would be satisfied with brown or purple)
5. ^ The thing that Farceur said up there that I bolded
Hey, that looks like a pretty good list. Why do you ask?
And I've seen that arm-graft guy before. I'm glad for him but this stuff also makes me sad for those that aren't given this opportunity.
I do really appreciate all this, guys. Sorry about the "I'm the only one who cares" bullshit, I know that's not true. It does make me happy to see human kindness, and I am always doing my best to spread it. The problem is I cannot seem to make peace with the fact that there are people I can't help and monsters I can't reach. I want to be the one to banish suffering from this earth, or at least live to see the day.
I didn't think I'd need to sit and list everything I've done, but I guess I need to. I do more than donate. Last year I went with a few other students from my school to visit a remedial school that was like a last-chance for high-school dropouts to get a GED. You'd go in there and there were all these (overwhelmingly Hispanic :/ ) kids, some holding small children or massively pregnant, all typing away at computers or studying.
Thought to myself, "Now here's a group that's doing some real good. These people are offering a chance to these kids, and those in here are doing their damnedest to make the most of it. If anyone deserves a real helping hand it's this staff and student body."
After some poking around we noticed two large bookshelves that contained in total maybe a hundred torn paperbacks. A staff member meekly told us that that was the library, that the kids draw from to do English studies and book reports. I was appalled. Right then, it was decided what we'd do. One university-wide book drive later(of which I was almost entirely in charge), and now they have a full range of fiction and nonfiction works to choose from. Some boundlessly generous soul donated a mint-condition encyclopedia set for them.
Here is what it looks like now (second image about halfway down the page). I'm damned proud of the work we did, and of the people who gave books for these kids. What I'm not proud of is my hair in that pic. :happysad:
I know I do good. I have talked a kid out of suicidal thoughts and gave an ear to one prominent member of this forum when they were feeling down.
The problem is that I just feel like for every one person I help there are thousands that I missed. Every teen suicide is one kid I didn't manage to get to. It is probably not rational to think this way but I feel like I COULD help everyone if only I had the means, because I certainly have the will.
That's probably the most helpful response I've gotten.
I do very much wish that I could meet someone in person who has the same thoughts I do. When you talk of that kind of brotherhood it does give me resolve.
Oh, I'm doing that. I'm doing exactly that. I'm taking what I like to do and making it into a career that would let me see the physical, tangible result of putting away bad guys. That's what I mean by my opening paragraph. I know damned well that all of you are right--but at the same time I keep wondering HOW I can be content with just that.
Trust me, I have never been immobilized by my negative feelings.
Perhaps I should have been more clear.
You might be interested in another story I am writing.
It's strange that you should say that because this is actually a time of great change for me, lots of new things are happening at once. I am learning skills in areas I didn't know existed two months ago and firms are already vying for my attention.
Again, I was probably being really, really overdramatic. I am genuinely optimistic and excited about the way my own life is heading. I am active in improving the lives of people who can't do it for themselves.
This constant, nagging bad feeling that always sits in the back of my brain finally got to me and I had to bring it to the forefront and throw it out there for everybody.
While I'm spilling my guts out to everyone I'm gonna go ahead and admit to two or three times a day. :redface:
So with time the contentment will just come on its own and I'll be able to allow the world to keep going on as it is with no moral qualms whatsoever? :thumbsdn:
I don't mind a hard life. I love to put in an honest day's work and get results. Toil is one thing--that's fine with me. Tragedy and suffering--those are what I have issues with.
I have posted a few times about a friend of mine who lost his leg while we were in high school together. He's where I get my angst about this amputation stuff, I guess. He's doing fine, but he loved soccer and football and now he can't do them anymore. He was good, might have gotten some athletic scholarship money, but that could just kiss his ass goodbye. I heard him rant about that a few times.
Military brat. I know lots of amputees. They're some of the most hardworking and optimistic people I know but the depression and the frustration and the "why me?" is palpable as these people cannot do things in a world where your worth is judged by your ability to physically affect things around you.
Once again, sorry I didn't write my whole life.
I assume that you are talking about my rant against people who hurt others. I've seen that too. A guy I know from high school was a friendly acquaintance of mine, until he diddled with a seven-year-old. Now that he is a registered sex offender I won't talk to him for fear of how angry I might get. It's easy for me to dehumanize people based on actions that atrocious.
Yeah, that whole "giving up" thing ain't happening.
I can do that.
1. Throw a charity concert for a local children's hospital
2. Expert marksmanship badges in handgun, shotgun, rifle, and archery
3. Become a licensed pilot
4. Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belt (I would be satisfied with brown or purple)
5. ^ The thing that Farceur said up there that I bolded
Hey, that looks like a pretty good list. Why do you ask?
And I've seen that arm-graft guy before. I'm glad for him but this stuff also makes me sad for those that aren't given this opportunity.
I do really appreciate all this, guys. Sorry about the "I'm the only one who cares" bullshit, I know that's not true. It does make me happy to see human kindness, and I am always doing my best to spread it. The problem is I cannot seem to make peace with the fact that there are people I can't help and monsters I can't reach. I want to be the one to banish suffering from this earth, or at least live to see the day.
Irrelevance
New member
Dray, don't be so hard on yourself. Rome wasn't built in a day. 
Sounds like a bit of an existential crisis. Trust me I know what you are going through. I've been there mate. It sonds like you've got a good head on your shoulders, but you have to cut yourself some slack. The world is not you responsibility. You are. And for what I have gathered you really contribute for the society, world and greater good. Too sad that more people are not like you and ponder about these things.
You do not have to take all the pain and the suffering in the world to carry on your shoulders. You can, as an individual, only do so much. You do not have to feel guilty for living. Notice the little things around you that make you happy. The singing of the birds, the sound the rain, the smell of freshly cut grass or whatever suites you best. Overall there is much more good in the world than there is bad, it is just the media and the overall tone of the western society to focus on the negative part of things. Think outside the negation box. Enjoy. Forget if only for a brief instance.
You can have an affect even if you do not constantly ruminate in guilt. You can pick a career or a hobby that contributes to the betterment of others, you can join an organisation that fights for human rights, poverty or global warming. If you make a single person feel better in your whole lifetime your life has been worth it.
I am writing this not only just for you, but also as a reminder for myself. The best thing I've learned from my soul searching is that you have to take cae of yourself so you can take care of others. Call it the superman-, messiah- or prometheuscomplex but you really are the most important thing in your life. Like Stardust put it "live, learn and love".
You do not have to take all the pain and the suffering in the world to carry on your shoulders. You can, as an individual, only do so much. You do not have to feel guilty for living. Notice the little things around you that make you happy. The singing of the birds, the sound the rain, the smell of freshly cut grass or whatever suites you best. Overall there is much more good in the world than there is bad, it is just the media and the overall tone of the western society to focus on the negative part of things. Think outside the negation box. Enjoy. Forget if only for a brief instance.
You can have an affect even if you do not constantly ruminate in guilt. You can pick a career or a hobby that contributes to the betterment of others, you can join an organisation that fights for human rights, poverty or global warming. If you make a single person feel better in your whole lifetime your life has been worth it.
I am writing this not only just for you, but also as a reminder for myself. The best thing I've learned from my soul searching is that you have to take cae of yourself so you can take care of others. Call it the superman-, messiah- or prometheuscomplex but you really are the most important thing in your life. Like Stardust put it "live, learn and love".
Never wish that. You were given the brain you have, and the way you think for a reason. Just because you are frustrated by your limitations doesn't mean you need to wish to be dumber than you are.
You are not alone, I know for a fact, not that I can speak for others, I know I have felt the same, and when I read what you had typed I thought it was something I had written as I constantly have thoughts like this. It's infuriating at times, yes, but the only way I could see I could do something about it with immediate actions was to help the people around me first, as I couldn't do anything on a grand scale.
Maybe the best solution WOULD be to get involved with something like a charity, or something along those lines, where you see the help you are giving people and see how useful you can be/are.
You are not alone, I know for a fact, not that I can speak for others, I know I have felt the same, and when I read what you had typed I thought it was something I had written as I constantly have thoughts like this. It's infuriating at times, yes, but the only way I could see I could do something about it with immediate actions was to help the people around me first, as I couldn't do anything on a grand scale.
Maybe the best solution WOULD be to get involved with something like a charity, or something along those lines, where you see the help you are giving people and see how useful you can be/are.