Slowly decomposing into sea of mediocrity

T

This Is My Name

New member
I've wrote a post like that in this exact same forum quite some time ago. Now i have the need to do it again in it`s new updated and yet same form.

There is no specific reason i am writing this. I just am.

I have everything i need and yet nothing i want.
(or so i think, cannot be sure)
I am 21 years old. My parents are somewhat wealthy for the current state of the country i live in so i have Water, Electricity, Internet, plenty of food, personal car and enough money to satisfy ocasional wims without ever needed to work for it. So far i probably sound like a total asshole because there is no obvious reason to even dare to complain (yes i perfectly well understand how easy i have it, and still i don`t actually care, just keep reading) and the truth is there is none, indeed. But still i am not happy. Maybe the reason of this post is to try to understand why( correction i do know a large chunck of the reason why i am unhappy, but still need answers why does that chunck even exists). But let`s keep on with a few more facts and some history.
I also feel no stress whatsoever, have no fears, and basicly no worries.
I am 1.94 meters 102 kilograms of caucasion meat. Face like every face there is, normal green eyes, normal nose, normal mouth, normal teeth, normal years, short wet sand like colored hair, normal everything. Ocasional beard when i am too lazy to shave it for more than a week.
Some moles but nothing drastic, a belly but overall not fat body and face. Basicly normal large male figure with belly.
I have applied and was accepted exactly into the university i wanted with exactly the major i wanted. I am now second year and i have no problems with my exams. This is not something so important but belive it or not i think this is one of the reasons i cannot cope properly with my fellow-students. Unlike them i can`t get into the whole "will i get that exam hysteria", and all those "that professor is a monster" thing. I simply know i will get the exam and don`t really finde the lectors all that scary, they are simply random nobodies doing their job. When colegues start talking about how much they have studied and how worried they are, and ask me how i feel the truth is i feel uncofortable because i for a started haven`t studied at all, because all i do on an exam is to pull stuff off my ass and still pass with average grades, and due to that same reason i am not really woried.
That said i don`t know is it me that`s wrong to respond with simple "I'm not really worried or something more "like i don`t really care" (because that is true too, there are after all 2 more attempts at each exam and even if you somehow fail on first try the second and the third are always there) or is it them to behave like children facing trivial problems.
That was somewhat of a huge offtopic even thou in it`s own way is part of the reason i am unhappy.
I've always had trouble making friends. Simply can`t talk about stuff i don`t really care and the stuff i don`t really care are plenty...

(i will now have to leave that post for a while because i just had an offer to go out and get stoned like a motherfucker, revert mentaly to a 5 year old and be trully happy for about 2 hours or so till the effects of the herb wear off, only so that i can finish myself with N20 but there will be second part in that same topic so stay tuned for updates...)
 
In the title, the word "sea" should be spelled with an 'a' on the end, not an 'e'.

Oh yeah, and you don't do mediocrity right either. :thumbsdn:
 
You'd think a second-year college student would be able to write better than I could when I was 8.

Anyway, adversity is what makes you appreciate life. Without those challenges life seems kind of bland, I think.

When I was in school I challenged myself in weird ways. I would ignore lectures and take the tests cold or write essays about different subjects, trying to make them so well-written I would still get a good grade. My senior year I tried to get as close to failing as I could and still pass.

I was 2.5% away from not graduating. That's probably three final questions. Heh.
 
What, are you being sarcastic? I figured english was, if not his first, than a very close second language. If he's not a native speaker than he does a good job hiding it. :tongue:
 
Dude, you need some fire in your life. You need excitement. Like... instead of just going with the flow... do something crazy. Think of something you've wanted to do (like a dream... i dont know go to ireland) and then just drag up and do that shit.

Also... being privileged to all the necessities is good, but sometimes working for it is better. If you really wanna feel life (which it sounds like you're wanting to do) move out from mom and dad. Cut yourself off from them. Or if you dont wanna do that... set yourself up for later in life. Take the money and benefits your parents give you and store it as a safety net while you work for everything for yourself.

Go cliff diving, drive a car a little too fast... you gotta get that adrenalin every once in a while.

Maybe you are the type of person that would enjoy blue collar work to white collar work. Find whatever your passion is... do things to enjoy life... and the rest will fall into place.

If all else fails... i'll trade lifes with you.... i can spice yours up... and you can level mine out.
 
I'm piggybacking off of kre8's post here, you need to do stuff that interests you. I know you said that you don't make very many friends, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. So go out and do stuff with those few friends that you do have. Have them invite their friends so you can meet new people, possibly make some new friends.
I'm not a very social person myself, partly because of my anxiety issues, but I do have a decent amount of friends because I go out with them whenever possible and I meet new people through them.

Like AdrenaLyn said, get a hobby. Find something you like and do it. Don't know what you like? Experiment. Just start doing stuff until you find something that interests you. Take an elective class at your University that might sound interesting to you, learn new things.

I couldn't infer from your post anything about religion, so I'll just say maybe find a religion. I know some of my friends were kinda in the same place you are right now, but they did some research, found a religion and started feeling better. Of course it's not a sure-fire thing and everyone has their own set of beliefs, this is just a suggestion. Good luck.
 
Oh my god! Misspelled words! :rolleyes:

The entire original post, though not grammatically perfect, makes perfect fucking sense. Stop being douchebags, assholes.

Anyway, I'm with Kre8or on this one. Do something to add spice to your life and get your blood boiling a bit from time to time. Take up a hobby, as Lyn suggested. Take up a part-time job doing something that interests you, as Kre8or suggested. Even volunteering your time for someone/an organisation might give your life some of the meaning you seem to be searching for.

Relax and take small steps to what might seem like an achievable solution. Once you start moving yourself, it will be easier to see the paths laid out around you.
 
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